I see the school search threads are heating up, so...

[Anonymous]

...I was hoping to give some advice. I looked at about 12 schools for my DC last fall for K and this is what I learned:

1) schools that I thought I loved at the open house, I felt "meh" about later. It is like buying the overpriced new purse you love and don't need, after a couple of weeks, you feel stupid and don't love it so much. See schools more than once if you think you really love them.

2) stop forcing yourself to look at/love the popular private schools or your local PS. You will feel it if it is right. you may want to feel supportive of your PS, or you may want the prestige of the popular private...but if you don't feel it, you don't feel it.

3) don't talk too much to your casual friends about it. try to limit the conversations about the search at playdates, pick up/drop-off etc. it will only serve to make you more anxious.

4) DO talk to people you trust and love you and your kid. I took long walks with my dad who helped me clarify my family's goals and educational ideals, and he knows me pretty well and called bullshit on some of my thinking

5) if you are the wife, do not overtalk this with DH. He will tire of it quickly and you will become annoying. If he wants the info great, but I would use an editing eye otherwise. I did not take DH to EVERY open house. If I loved the school, we went back together to form an opinion.

6) pick something close to your house or work, if possible. playdates, community feeling, your own quality of life may depend on this

7) start early...with everything. openhouses, testing (if needed), research

8) disregard most of what you read on DCURBANMOMS about schools, including this thread. Some of the threads are supportive, thoughtful, and balanced, but most of it is drivel.

9) know that you can change your mind after a year. nothing is forever. your kid will be okay.

10) TRY TRY TRY to shelf your own needs and experiences as a child enough to stay objective, and look at a variety of options for your child.

11) AND, do not assume you will love your local PS or that you will get into the private you love. do the work, be prepared, don't get caught scrambling.

GOOD LUCK!

[Anonymous]

You have WAAAY too much time on your hands!

[Anonymous]

OP here. No, I am procrastinating horribly b/c I have so much to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have WAAAY too much time on your hands!

But you had time to read it and comment!

Hey, I'm glad someone had the time to post this. Thank you. I appreciate it. But we'll see how this thread gets turned into a controversy....

[Anonymous]

No, I actually just skimmed it, & skip the rest when I realized you didn't really have anything to say...

[Anonymous]

Good post, OP.

[Anonymous]

We decided to start looking at both public and private when our kid turned 3. It's taken the stress off a little bit and started us thinking about the PK/K earlier. Many schools are open to you doing this - esp. if they are private and in need of new families.
Thanks for the post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...I was hoping to give some advice. I looked at about 12 schools for my DC last fall for K and this is what I learned:

1) schools that I thought I loved at the open house, I felt "meh" about later. It is like buying the overpriced new purse you love and don't need, after a couple of weeks, you feel stupid and don't love it so much. See schools more than once if you think you really love them.

2) stop forcing yourself to look at/love the popular private schools or your local PS. You will feel it if it is right. you may want to feel supportive of your PS, or you may want the prestige of the popular private...but if you don't feel it, you don't feel it.

3) don't talk too much to your casual friends about it. try to limit the conversations about the search at playdates, pick up/drop-off etc. it will only serve to make you more anxious.

4) DO talk to people you trust and love you and your kid. I took long walks with my dad who helped me clarify my family's goals and educational ideals, and he knows me pretty well and called bullshit on some of my thinking

5) if you are the wife, do not overtalk this with DH. He will tire of it quickly and you will become annoying. If he wants the info great, but I would use an editing eye otherwise. I did not take DH to EVERY open house. If I loved the school, we went back together to form an opinion.

6) pick something close to your house or work, if possible. playdates, community feeling, your own quality of life may depend on this

7) start early...with everything. openhouses, testing (if needed), research

8) disregard most of what you read on DCURBANMOMS about schools, including this thread. Some of the threads are supportive, thoughtful, and balanced, but most of it is drivel.

9) know that you can change your mind after a year. nothing is forever. your kid will be okay.

10) TRY TRY TRY to shelf your own needs and experiences as a child enough to stay objective, and look at a variety of options for your child.

11) AND, do not assume you will love your local PS or that you will get into the private you love. do the work, be prepared, don't get caught scrambling.

GOOD LUCK!

#5 incredibly sexist statement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
#5 incredibly sexist statement

But true for a lot of couples I know, including DH and I... sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...I was hoping to give some advice. I looked at about 12 schools for my DC last fall for K and this is what I learned:

1) schools that I thought I loved at the open house, I felt "meh" about later. It is like buying the overpriced new purse you love and don't need, after a couple of weeks, you feel stupid and don't love it so much. See schools more than once if you think you really love them.

2) stop forcing yourself to look at/love the popular private schools or your local PS. You will feel it if it is right. you may want to feel supportive of your PS, or you may want the prestige of the popular private...but if you don't feel it, you don't feel it.

3) don't talk too much to your casual friends about it. try to limit the conversations about the search at playdates, pick up/drop-off etc. it will only serve to make you more anxious.

4) DO talk to people you trust and love you and your kid. I took long walks with my dad who helped me clarify my family's goals and educational ideals, and he knows me pretty well and called bullshit on some of my thinking

5) if you are the wife, do not overtalk this with DH. He will tire of it quickly and you will become annoying. If he wants the info great, but I would use an editing eye otherwise. I did not take DH to EVERY open house. If I loved the school, we went back together to form an opinion.

6) pick something close to your house or work, if possible. playdates, community feeling, your own quality of life may depend on this

7) start early...with everything. openhouses, testing (if needed), research

8) disregard most of what you read on DCURBANMOMS about schools, including this thread. Some of the threads are supportive, thoughtful, and balanced, but most of it is drivel.
9) know that you can change your mind after a year. nothing is forever. your kid will be okay.

10) TRY TRY TRY to shelf your own needs and experiences as a child enough to stay objective, and look at a variety of options for your child.

11) AND, do not assume you will love your local PS or that you will get into the private you love. do the work, be prepared, don't get caught scrambling.

GOOD LUCK!

And this one gets the prize for: DRIVEL

[Anonymous]

" And this one gets the prize for: DRIVEL"

These are the posts that = drivel in my book. Move on if you have nothing to say that is nice. OP's post didn't warrant such comments.

[Anonymous]

I like your post, OP. Good advice!

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Kudos to those saying the post is drivel. It would not be DCURBANMOMS if you didn't!

Interesting that someone thinks going easy on the partner is sexist. Be you gay, straight, etc., I think it is naive to assume that your partner is as interested in this process as you may be. This has to with everything in life. My husband is more into researching cars when we get a new one, and I let him do that. I researched breast pumps. We both love cooking gear, so that is even. Sexist? No....just people being different. And I think it can REALLY stress a marriage when one partner EXPECTS the same level of interest in all subjects, even something as important as schools. Doesn't mean your partner should get off scott-free, doesn't mean that they should abdicate all their duties...I was just saying that we should manage our expectations when it comes to this process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:" And this one gets the prize for: DRIVEL"

These are the posts that = drivel in my book. Move on if you have nothing to say that is nice. OP's post didn't warrant such comments.

Agreed. 14:50, if you don't have something helpful to say, shut your fat yap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Kudos to those saying the post is drivel. It would not be DCURBANMOMS if you didn't!

Interesting that someone thinks going easy on the partner is sexist. Be you gay, straight, etc., I think it is naive to assume that your partner is as interested in this process as you may be. This has to with everything in life. My husband is more into researching cars when we get a new one, and I let him do that. I researched breast pumps. We both love cooking gear, so that is even. Sexist? No....just people being different. And I think it can REALLY stress a marriage when one partner EXPECTS the same level of interest in all subjects, even something as important as schools. Doesn't mean your partner should get off scott-free, doesn't mean that they should abdicate all their duties...I was just saying that we should manage our expectations when it comes to this process.

My God! This is not a thread on interests; it's about schools. BOTH parents should have an equal interest regarding WHICH schools benefit THEIR child - be you gay, straight, or a swinging couple! Why should one parent be in charge of choosing the most fitting academic environment for his/her child?