Question about two people with ADHD
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Anonymous
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If two people with ADHD got married would this be a good match because they would understand one another, or would this be a bad match because they would annoy one another?
Would one of them have to grow up and land on earth or would they both drown in lala land while responsibilities piled up? No one knows for sure but I am asking what you think. |
Anonymous
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do either of you take meds for treatment?
Depends onthe severity of each case. DH and I both suffer and it has worked out fine for us. Also know ADHD/ADD is not an excuse for every propblem that comes up. It should be a sign note.. |
Anonymous
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My husband and I are married and we both have ADHD.
Don't do it: 1. Your children will be at increased risk not only for ADHD, but for SEVERE ADHD. It's not pretty even with meds. 2. Your house will be in chaos in the morning and evening because those are the times when meds aren't there to help you. 3. That chaos and parenting challenge will place a heavy strain on your relationship. I'm living it right now. |
Anonymous
Four couples. ADD/ADHD 1 child isn't, one is ADHD and the other too young to know. Non/ADHD 1 child with ADD and two aren't ADD/Non 2 children with ADD and one isn't Non/Non 1 child with ADHD, one not and two that are too young to determine Why did the two without ADD/ADHD as a factor have an ADHD child? Genetics. And your assertion of severe ADHD...what? http://www.chadd.org/understanding-adhd/about-adhd.aspx |
Anonymous
I don't understand the point of this. Are these people you know or some kind of hypothetical? OP, people can't just grow up and suddenly snap out of ADHD symptoms. If it were that easy, we wouldn't need to treat it with meds. A lot of kids do outgrow it, but there are still plenty of adults with it, it's a real medical condition, and it can affect people in varying ways. Hopefully if two people have ADHD and partner up, they have different strengths and weaknesses so they complement each other instead of exacerbate their issues. Hopefully they'd both be seeking treatment. It would be very exhausting to deal with my own issues, plus DH's, and then likely our children's too. Kids already make things hard, and kids with ADHD are a special kind of challenge. Add in things like anxiety and depression that often accompany ADHD, and it's sort of like a bomb waiting to go off. The thing is, in my circle at least, a lot of parents I know are being diagnosed because their children are diagnosed and they then realize they also probably have it. So the couples don't always realize they have it when they marry, because they've figured out their coping mechanisms to get them into adulthood. But after kids, it's a whole new kind of stress, and what worked before no longer works, and things fall apart. It's not as cut and dry as simply deciding not to marry someone who has ADHD, because it might not be known until well into the marriage. |
Anonymous
Actual. |
Anonymous
So what's your point? Genetics is a game of chance. We can give probabilities but there's no way to know for sure what you'll get. Anecdotes =/= data. |
Anonymous
Yep they are. What I showed illustrates that the doomsday ''severe ADHD'', still haven't heard what that is, doesn't represent the facts. It isn't an absolute. FWIW, I am ADHD. |
Anonymous
| OH, and the house in chaos etc. shows a lack of controls etc. that could have kept that in check. Seems to me that poster has let em run wild using the ADHD excuse. |
Anonymous
NP here. Curious do you think has helped you guys manage this? Maybe meds are the secret. I'm likely undiagnosed ADHD and we have a daughter with diagnosed ADHD and I feel like I am fortunate to be married to someone that is hyper organized and the opposite of me in some ways. I can barely manage all the multitasking at work (where I have been able to excel in my role) plus all the general mom duties that fall on my shoulders for activities, and kid scheduling. If I had to take on all the household stuff too like majority of bill paying and grocery shopping and kids medical appointments I don't think I could do it. |
Anonymous
| I'm the wife with ADD. So glad I didn't marry someone with it. |
Anonymous
Adderall changed my life. Nothing else helped long term. Every other trick I had up my sleeve failed eventually. |
Anonymous
First, it's you have ADHD, not you are ADHD. Second, take a probability and statistics course. No one said if two people with ADHD have a kid, they'll definitely have children with profound ADHD and there's absolutely no chance of having children without ADHD. It's genetically linked, so parents with ADHD are more likely to have children with ADHD, which is supported by the link you posted. Your link also discusses severe ADHD, and how symptoms vary from person to person. Check out the website you linked. It might answer some of your questions. |