If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?

[Anonymous]

What if you found out your DH cheated years ago, but since the kids came, he's been 100% faithful? Let it go or would it be worth war III in your house over events that happened 5+ years ago?

[Anonymous]

That's tough because why is it just coming out now? I personally would have a hard time believing that was all it was. I am not perfect and that's how my emotions would go. It'd be World War III at first but maybe I could work through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's tough because why is it just coming out now? I personally would have a hard time believing that was all it was. I am not perfect and that's how my emotions would go. It'd be World War III at first but maybe I could work through it.

This. Maybe

[Anonymous]

Agreed, I'd have a hard time believing that it was just limited to 5+ years ago.

[Anonymous]

I think I'd need a lot more context. Is it just coming out now? Why? I don't think it's reasonable to expect cheating to be no big deal when someone first learns about it just because it was years ago, there will still need to be a rebuilding of trust (including trust that you're being honest about it not happening since). At the same time, if the claim that it hasn't happened since is credible and the person has been a loyal and loving spouse since, I would hope that would earn the person some credit.

[Anonymous]

Wife placed me well behind the kids in priority in the past but fixed it. Should I let it go?

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on how sure I was he had been faithful since then, and the circumstances of the cheating (affair vs. ONS). Don't take his word for it. If I found something he had written extemporaneously saying it was a terrible, terrible mistake and completely out of character for him, then I would be more convinced I suppose.

If it was pre-kids, I'm assuming you hadn't been married that long. If people can't stay faithful in the first few years of marriage ...

[Anonymous]

It would depend a lot on circumstances. Was this a one night stand or a long-term affair? Why is it coming out now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife placed me well behind the kids in priority in the past but fixed it. Should I let it go?

[Anonymous]

I would divorce him. I made that clear before we married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would divorce him. I made that clear before we married.

But the context is everything's been great for years. It's tricky.

[Anonymous]

Need more context.

[Anonymous]

How do you know he's been faithful since kids came along?

[Anonymous]

Yes, water under the bridge. Just make sure scared straight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you found out your DH cheated years ago, but since the kids came, he's been 100% faithful? Let it go or would it be worth war III in your house over events that happened 5+ years ago?

Once a cheater, always a cheater. He just hasn't found the right person. Also, you only think he hasn't cheated. He could be having Nooners every day.