If DH cheated pre-kids, but hasn't since, water under the bridge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:while dating, we used to have a lot of hot, passionate sex. now, after being married and with 2 school-aged kids, wife doesn't want to have sex anymore than 1 x a month at best.

Deal breaker or water under the bridge?

That's up to you but there's never a reason to cheat. Get divorced or work it out...then you get to date.

[Anonymous]

Why did he cheat to begin with?

[Anonymous]

Because he's a cheater and there was an opportunity whereby he thought he wouldn't get caught but did.

OP Many people don't cheat, but the reality is you can't trust him. How do you know he hasn't cheated in 5 years?

Without him knowing you should check up on him periodically. All you can do at this point. If he ever cheats again you can decide from there. Otherwise I
would have a plan B in case it doesn't work out. A good job and your own money etc.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't trust him.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you're just finding out 5 years later is ridiculous. Your time and life together is a lie. He is selfish and a coward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, water under the bridge. Just make sure scared straight

This is the right answer, IF he's an otherwise good husband and father.

You know what's worse than having an otherwise great relationship with your husband who cheated a long time ago? Being a single mom on a limited budget.

If you want your kids to start life in a economically advantaged position, don't divorce. It costs a ton of cash to run two households. When will you save for college costs? Save for retirement? Only an idiot would flush away their good relationship and financial security out of spite.

[Anonymous]

I would feel duped.

He waits & tells you now that you are deep in w/his kids??!

What a rat.

I would be angry + feel betrayed.

Trust would most definitely be affected big time.