Getting remarried and want another baby, but...

[Anonymous]

I'm having mixed feelings about having two kids with two different fathers. I also feel like it isn't fair to my child to have a new family. I'm so torn.

[Anonymous]

I hear you, OP. I'm divorced with two small kids and wonder about whether I'd have another. I learn toward no, because I already have two, but if I only had one I could understand trying for more. Especially if your fiancé wants one. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. I'm divorced with two small kids and wonder about whether I'd have another. I learn toward no, because I already have two, but if I only had one I could understand trying for more. Especially if your fiancé wants one. Hugs.

He does. He doesn't have any kids and would like to have one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. I'm divorced with two small kids and wonder about whether I'd have another. I learn toward no, because I already have two, but if I only had one I could understand trying for more. Especially if your fiancé wants one. Hugs.

He does. He doesn't have any kids and would like to have one.

You need to figure this out one way or the other before you get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. I'm divorced with two small kids and wonder about whether I'd have another. I learn toward no, because I already have two, but if I only had one I could understand trying for more. Especially if your fiancé wants one. Hugs.

He does. He doesn't have any kids and would like to have one.

You need to figure this out one way or the other before you get married.

PP here and I wholeheartedly agree. Don't go into it with him thinking you'll have a kid together if you won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm having mixed feelings about having two kids with two different fathers. I also feel like it isn't fair to my child to have a new family. I'm so torn.

Why are you not with your current child's father? I think that's relevant to this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having mixed feelings about having two kids with two different fathers. I also feel like it isn't fair to my child to have a new family. I'm so torn.

Why are you not with your current child's father? I think that's relevant to this discussion.

.

Well, they're divorced, so that's why. I'm sure they didn't just get divorced for no reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having mixed feelings about having two kids with two different fathers. I also feel like it isn't fair to my child to have a new family. I'm so torn.

Why are you not with your current child's father? I think that's relevant to this discussion.

I disagree that this info is relevant. DCUM thinks the only acceptable way to be a single mom is to be a widow, and those of us unlucky enough to be divorced should live like nuns until our children are in college.

OP, I'm a divorced mom of one and often think about this. I'd very much like to have another kid but like you I worry about how it would impact the child I already have. I think it would be helpful to know how old your kid is now. Also agree with the PP - you absolutely have to settle this before you get married.

[Anonymous]

I think it's totally relevant how the divorce went down. Does DC 1 have a good father figure or are you expecting Fiancee to be that for him?

[Anonymous]

I vote to have the baby and commit to treating the kids just the same. It will build their bond and the different fathers won't matter. My friend has two about 12 years apart-look so much alike despite the dads looking very different. And they just adore each other. Her new DH is also a good guy, which helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I vote to have the baby and commit to treating the kids just the same. It will build their bond and the different fathers won't matter. My friend has two about 12 years apart-look so much alike despite the dads looking very different. And they just adore each other. Her new DH is also a good guy, which helps.

Oh wow, that's great. Because you definitely get a vote.

[Anonymous]

I have a two cousins that are siblings but have different dads. They've grown up together and have a great relationship despite having different dads. How old is your current child?

[Anonymous]

OP here, we got divorced because he had a baby with another woman. He's since remarried (to a different woman) and has two kids with her. My daughter is 10 and she has a great relationship with her father, stepmother, and her siblings.

[Anonymous]

Whoa OP, that's a LOT of drama on Dad's side of the family. And I do think it's relevant because it shows how many different types of family relationships she's already juggling. Does she have a relationship with all three siblings on that side, or just the two with her step-mother?

She's 10. Having another baby will be a very different sibling relationship than if she was 3 or 4. Not bad, but different. I think if you want another baby (and so does your now-DH) that's fine. Navigate it with love and kindness and understanding with your older DD. If your now-DH has a good relationship with her that helps a lot.

[Anonymous]

I have two siblings with that my mom had with my stepdad. I get super annoyed when people refer to them as my "half siblings." they are my brother and sister just like my sisters that I have the same dad as. its not a big deal, mixed families are all over the place.