Developmental/skills milestones

[Anonymous]

A friend has a child who is 2.5 and starting preschool. The school sent a list of skills that the preschool child should have before coming to school. The list included:
- completely and independently toilet trained
- putting on and taking off own shoes
- blowing nose
- dressing yourself
- entering the classroom on your own feet (no being carried in)
- using a fork and spoon
- drinking from an open cup


I have a 21 month old who is no where close to doing ANY of those things except she can take off her own shoes and use a spoon. Of course she can walk into places but always asks to be carried.

When do you start working on skills like this (toilet training aside - too much debate on that one)? Is there an approved list somewhere that I can reference to know if DD is on track?

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Most of those are possible, but largely inappropriate expectations. You start working on those things from birth by modeling and practicing, but many 2.5 year olds are nowhere near able to dress themselves or blow their own nose. LOL.

[Anonymous]

I think the pp is right and you start early and foster independence. My dd is only 18 months and we try to walk everywhere and not be carried. Of course I carry her when she's tired or unhappy but most of the time she walks. We went to ikea and she toddled around instead of being in a stroller. A lot more work for me to chase her and make sure she doesn't get into anything. I have a bad back so I had to curtail the carrying early so that was always a priority. I'll squat and sit with her if she's whining but not pick her up. When she had a cold I would say "give me your nose" and show her how to blow and then wipe her nose. She now comes to me and the box of tissues and makes the blowing sound. Much easier to work on these things when they are at the compliant age and want to mimic everything.

[Anonymous]

I have a 2.5 yo who is pretty independent (wants to do everything by herself). Here is where she is:


- completely and independently toilet trained - has been potty trained for 6 months including night trained. But still needs help with clothing, getting up/down from toilet and wiping
- putting on and taking off own shoes - depends on the shoe. Can handle Mini Melissas, Crocs and Natives. Needs help with sneakers, sandals and boots
- blowing nose - can dab nose but not really wipe effectively. Doesn't really blow. I basically have to handle.
- dressing yourself - totally depends on clothing. Loose stuff with elastic - can handle. But she rarely wears that stuff and I mostly dress her.
- entering the classroom on your own feet (no being carried in) - check
- using a fork and spoon - check
- drinking from an open cup - check but I give her sippy cups for my benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2.5 yo who is pretty independent (wants to do everything by herself). Here is where she is:


- completely and independently toilet trained - has been potty trained for 6 months including night trained. But still needs help with clothing, getting up/down from toilet and wiping
- putting on and taking off own shoes - depends on the shoe. Can handle Mini Melissas, Crocs and Natives. Needs help with sneakers, sandals and boots
- blowing nose - can dab nose but not really wipe effectively. Doesn't really blow. I basically have to handle.
- dressing yourself - totally depends on clothing. Loose stuff with elastic - can handle. But she rarely wears that stuff and I mostly dress her.
- entering the classroom on your own feet (no being carried in) - check
- using a fork and spoon - check
- drinking from an open cup - check but I give her sippy cups for my benefit.

Me again. This is my third child and I think their list is crazy if they expect kids to be able to do everything on it independently. So much so that they obviously don't have reasonable expectations and I probably wouldn't send my child there.

[Anonymous]

There is no reason not to work on those skills now. I give my DS - 20 months - an open cup of milk every morning because I bathe him after breakfast and it is a good time to practice. Same with a spoon for his yogurt and fork for chunks of fruit and berries. We practice blowing all the time. The other things he is no where close to knowing but I can start teaching!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2.5 yo who is pretty independent (wants to do everything by herself). Here is where she is:


- completely and independently toilet trained - has been potty trained for 6 months including night trained. But still needs help with clothing, getting up/down from toilet and wiping
- putting on and taking off own shoes - depends on the shoe. Can handle Mini Melissas, Crocs and Natives. Needs help with sneakers, sandals and boots
- blowing nose - can dab nose but not really wipe effectively. Doesn't really blow. I basically have to handle.
- dressing yourself - totally depends on clothing. Loose stuff with elastic - can handle. But she rarely wears that stuff and I mostly dress her.
- entering the classroom on your own feet (no being carried in) - check
- using a fork and spoon - check
- drinking from an open cup - check but I give her sippy cups for my benefit.

Me again. This is my third child and I think their list is crazy if they expect kids to be able to do everything on it independently. So much so that they obviously don't have reasonable expectations and I probably wouldn't send my child there.

Why?! PP, your kid is already there! Just teach her how to wipe and dress her in the easy pants and easy shoes! Teaching a kid to blow his or her nose is actually the easiest of these tasks - do it when he/she doesn't have a cold. DS thought it was a game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2.5 yo who is pretty independent (wants to do everything by herself). Here is where she is:


- completely and independently toilet trained - has been potty trained for 6 months including night trained. But still needs help with clothing, getting up/down from toilet and wiping
- putting on and taking off own shoes - depends on the shoe. Can handle Mini Melissas, Crocs and Natives. Needs help with sneakers, sandals and boots
- blowing nose - can dab nose but not really wipe effectively. Doesn't really blow. I basically have to handle.
- dressing yourself - totally depends on clothing. Loose stuff with elastic - can handle. But she rarely wears that stuff and I mostly dress her.
- entering the classroom on your own feet (no being carried in) - check
- using a fork and spoon - check
- drinking from an open cup - check but I give her sippy cups for my benefit.

Me again. This is my third child and I think their list is crazy if they expect kids to be able to do everything on it independently. So much so that they obviously don't have reasonable expectations and I probably wouldn't send my child there.

Why?! PP, your kid is already there! Just teach her how to wipe and dress her in the easy pants and easy shoes! Teaching a kid to blow his or her nose is actually the easiest of these tasks - do it when he/she doesn't have a cold. DS thought it was a game.

Because kids should be kids and not little soldiers. I wouldn't send her in Mini Melissas and if she needs help getting her velcro Nikes on, that should be fine. And I do not want daily toilet accidents because she couldn't get up on the toilet.

Regardless, the school she is going to is much more developmentally appropriate. They don't even require that the 2.5 yos be potty trained.

[Anonymous]

I have a just turned 2 year old and he can do about half those things. Most programs don't require potty training for the 2's or 2.5's class. For most 2.5 classes, they will want you to be "working on" potty training and they'll also work on it with the kids, but they won't expect full independent toileting yet and will help pulling pants up and down and stuff. So this preschool definitely sounds a little out of the norm in my experience.

[Anonymous]

2.5 seems young to expect full and independent potty training. my kid is only 10 months, so i don't have personal experience with potty training yet, but i thought the average age was around 2.5-3. just because this is an anonymous forum, i will share that my husband wasn't potty trained until 4 due to having strabismus (lazy eye) that was corrected, but set him back, motor skills wise, because the lazy eye resulted in double vision (obviously a problem for potty training, especially if you're a guy). he didn't have any problems otherwise. what would they have done with him at this place?

[Anonymous]

With the exception of independent toilet training, none of these seem too outlandish to me. I doubt the school expect perfection in dressing or tying shoe laces, but I can't imagine Velcro sandals are that much of a puzzle for most 2.5-3 year olds. Your LO is nowhere close, because he or she has not practiced any of those things. Just start asking LO to do these things. For most kids this age it's not an issue, because they constantly want to do things by themselves.

[Anonymous]

I think so much of this just depends on the personality of the kid. DS1 was extremely independent, wanted to do everything himself, and could do everything on that list by 2.5. DS2, not so much. They'll all get there eventually!

The only thing I would recommend is to hold off a bit before jumping in and helping when your DD is practicing these skills. Let your DD struggle a bit if she's trying to take off her shirt, for example. That's basically how they learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2.5 yo who is pretty independent (wants to do everything by herself). Here is where she is:


- completely and independently toilet trained - has been potty trained for 6 months including night trained. But still needs help with clothing, getting up/down from toilet and wiping
- putting on and taking off own shoes - depends on the shoe. Can handle Mini Melissas, Crocs and Natives. Needs help with sneakers, sandals and boots
- blowing nose - can dab nose but not really wipe effectively. Doesn't really blow. I basically have to handle.
- dressing yourself - totally depends on clothing. Loose stuff with elastic - can handle. But she rarely wears that stuff and I mostly dress her.
- entering the classroom on your own feet (no being carried in) - check
- using a fork and spoon - check
- drinking from an open cup - check but I give her sippy cups for my benefit.

Me again. This is my third child and I think their list is crazy if they expect kids to be able to do everything on it independently. So much so that they obviously don't have reasonable expectations and I probably wouldn't send my child there.

Why?! PP, your kid is already there! Just teach her how to wipe and dress her in the easy pants and easy shoes! Teaching a kid to blow his or her nose is actually the easiest of these tasks - do it when he/she doesn't have a cold. DS thought it was a game.

Because kids should be kids and not little soldiers. I wouldn't send her in Mini Melissas and if she needs help getting her velcro Nikes on, that should be fine. And I do not want daily toilet accidents because she couldn't get up on the toilet.

Regardless, the school she is going to is much more developmentally appropriate. They don't even require that the 2.5 yos be potty trained.

Preschool toilets are as small and low as potties. I am sure your kid could handle it. And there are other less expensive easy-to-put on shoes.

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old still needs me to wipe his butt. That list is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old still needs me to wipe his butt. That list is insane.

That is why you think the skills list is insane?

Teach your poor child to wipe himself, PP. I feel so sorry for him and his poor teachers. All my kids, two boys and a girl, could and did sufficiently wipe themselves after defecating at 3.5.