If your DD used to do competitive dance but no longer does

[Anonymous]

At what age did she quit?

My DD is almost 10 and really loves dance. She started with the competitions two years ago and seems like she won't want to stop anytime soon. Right now she dances three nights a week and her studio only participates in two competitions per year, so it isn't all consuming like Dance Moms type of competitions. My DH was commenting tonight that he hopes she quits in another year or so so she can do other activities. My thought is, if she loves dance, let her put her time and energy into dance. One of my friends made the comment that "most of them quit by 7th or 8th grade because they feel like they miss out on time with their friends". I am just curious if this was true for your DD. My DD has made a lot of good friends through dance so she is technically spending time with friends while she is there. Anyway, just curious how it went for your girls.

[Anonymous]

She burned out on dance and wanted to turn her attention to school/team sports. Kept her dance friends and made new friends in addition.

[Anonymous]

I quit at age 16. I was in classes 6 days a week and had a show or competition almost every weekend. I also cheered at school, but my studio owner was the cheer coach so everyone that cheered also danced and the coach made the schedule work. Honestly, I wish I'd stopped after 8th grade so I could have done more of a variety in high school.

[Anonymous]

My DD is a gymnast and she loves it so much I don't really think about how long she'll do it. She smiles the entire time she's in the gym. She's 11 and been doing it for 6 years. If she wants to quit, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

[Anonymous]

She quit at 11 because it became to expensive due to travel. We could do that and nothing else. Also, it was 12 hours a week, plus additional mandatory practices before a show, special clinics and mini camps right before auditions.

She fenced for the next 7 years. Also expensive, but opted to be less competitive. Also, a team sport in middle and both marching band and a sport in HS. None cost us what dance had.

It was a worthwhile trade off.

[Anonymous]

My DD still dances and she's 19. She started at the age of 13 dancing competitively and the competitions were usually every weekend (during the season),with 2 nights per week and Saturday practices. She actually gave up all her other activities (track & field and music), so she could dance. I let her make that decision because I saw how committed she was and she is good at it. She is now the captain of the dance team at college and has danced with a company in NY. She was home from college this summer and taught a summer dance camp at her dance studio. If dance is her passion, she won't want to stop. Let her continue if she has the desire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what age did she quit?

My DD is almost 10 and really loves dance. She started with the competitions two years ago and seems like she won't want to stop anytime soon. Right now she dances three nights a week and her studio only participates in two competitions per year, so it isn't all consuming like Dance Moms type of competitions. My DH was commenting tonight that he hopes she quits in another year or so so she can do other activities. My thought is, if she loves dance, let her put her time and energy into dance. One of my friends made the comment that "most of them quit by 7th or 8th grade because they feel like they miss out on time with their friends". I am just curious if this was true for your DD. My DD has made a lot of good friends through dance so she is technically spending time with friends while she is there. Anyway, just curious how it went for your girls.

Reading between the lines it sounds to me like you may be more invested in this than she is and I would just caution you there.

Does DH dislike it because $$$?

[Anonymous]

I think kids stop a lot of activities they were doing in younger grades when they hit MS/HS. Opportunities open up that were not available before and most kids have to pick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age did she quit?

My DD is almost 10 and really loves dance. She started with the competitions two years ago and seems like she won't want to stop anytime soon. Right now she dances three nights a week and her studio only participates in two competitions per year, so it isn't all consuming like Dance Moms type of competitions. My DH was commenting tonight that he hopes she quits in another year or so so she can do other activities. My thought is, if she loves dance, let her put her time and energy into dance. One of my friends made the comment that "most of them quit by 7th or 8th grade because they feel like they miss out on time with their friends". I am just curious if this was true for your DD. My DD has made a lot of good friends through dance so she is technically spending time with friends while she is there. Anyway, just curious how it went for your girls.

Reading between the lines it sounds to me like you may be more invested in this than she is and I would just caution you there.

Does DH dislike it because $$$?

Actually it sounds like mom is neutral, daughter is commited and enjoys it, and dad wants her to quit something she loves because he woukd rather she does sports.

OP as long as you can afford it, let her keep doing it as long as she wants to ans is enjoying it.

There is nothing that sports will offer her that she cannot get through dance. Plus dance has the additional benefit of allowing her to access the creative side of her mind in a way sports do not. There is no logical reason coming from your husbands side that justifies having her quit dance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age did she quit?

My DD is almost 10 and really loves dance. She started with the competitions two years ago and seems like she won't want to stop anytime soon. Right now she dances three nights a week and her studio only participates in two competitions per year, so it isn't all consuming like Dance Moms type of competitions. My DH was commenting tonight that he hopes she quits in another year or so so she can do other activities. My thought is, if she loves dance, let her put her time and energy into dance. One of my friends made the comment that "most of them quit by 7th or 8th grade because they feel like they miss out on time with their friends". I am just curious if this was true for your DD. My DD has made a lot of good friends through dance so she is technically spending time with friends while she is there. Anyway, just curious how it went for your girls.

Reading between the lines it sounds to me like you may be more invested in this than she is and I would just caution you there.

Does DH dislike it because $$$?

Actually it sounds like mom is neutral, daughter is commited and enjoys it, and dad wants her to quit something she loves because he woukd rather she does sports.

OP as long as you can afford it, let her keep doing it as long as she wants to ans is enjoying it.

There is nothing that sports will offer her that she cannot get through dance. Plus dance has the additional benefit of allowing her to access the creative side of her mind in a way sports do not. There is no logical reason coming from your husbands side that justifies having her quit dance.

I don't think mom sounds neutral -- she is clearly fairly anxious about the prospect of the child quitting since she's clearly discussing it with others, and it's clearly a conflict with her husband. And I don't know where you get that dad means "sports" in terms of other activities, though.

My concern about dance would be the eating disorders in that world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age did she quit?

My DD is almost 10 and really loves dance. She started with the competitions two years ago and seems like she won't want to stop anytime soon. Right now she dances three nights a week and her studio only participates in two competitions per year, so it isn't all consuming like Dance Moms type of competitions. My DH was commenting tonight that he hopes she quits in another year or so so she can do other activities. My thought is, if she loves dance, let her put her time and energy into dance. One of my friends made the comment that "most of them quit by 7th or 8th grade because they feel like they miss out on time with their friends". I am just curious if this was true for your DD. My DD has made a lot of good friends through dance so she is technically spending time with friends while she is there. Anyway, just curious how it went for your girls.

Reading between the lines it sounds to me like you may be more invested in this than she is and I would just caution you there.

Does DH dislike it because $$$?

Actually it sounds like mom is neutral, daughter is commited and enjoys it, and dad wants her to quit something she loves because he woukd rather she does sports.

OP as long as you can afford it, let her keep doing it as long as she wants to ans is enjoying it.

There is nothing that sports will offer her that she cannot get through dance. Plus dance has the additional benefit of allowing her to access the creative side of her mind in a way sports do not. There is no logical reason coming from your husbands side that justifies having her quit dance.

I disagree with this statement. The problem with dance and adolescent girls is that dance is very focused on appearance/aesthetic. Yes, strength and coordination are required to execute the moves, but it also has to be visually appealing. That aspect can be harmful for girls of a certain age if it isn't balanced with other things because it does create a strong fixation on body and appearance.

Sports, however, is focused solely on functionality. So you get all of the benefits of the physicality that you get through dance (the discipline, the strength, the coordination), but without the fixation on appearance/aesthetic.

I also thing that dance schools are few and far between that really allow the girls creative expression. The dance teachers can be rather heavy handed in instilling their own aesthetic as opposed to really allowing for originality from the students.

Just my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Once my DD hit middle school, we had to quickly reevaluate the extra curricular schedule. My DD found for the first time that her school work was challenging and she really had to focus on doing homework and studying. The first half of middle school she dropped down to a single dance class and no competitions. She had to give up all other activities because she wasn't able to do it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age did she quit?

My DD is almost 10 and really loves dance. She started with the competitions two years ago and seems like she won't want to stop anytime soon. Right now she dances three nights a week and her studio only participates in two competitions per year, so it isn't all consuming like Dance Moms type of competitions. My DH was commenting tonight that he hopes she quits in another year or so so she can do other activities. My thought is, if she loves dance, let her put her time and energy into dance. One of my friends made the comment that "most of them quit by 7th or 8th grade because they feel like they miss out on time with their friends". I am just curious if this was true for your DD. My DD has made a lot of good friends through dance so she is technically spending time with friends while she is there. Anyway, just curious how it went for your girls.

Reading between the lines it sounds to me like you may be more invested in this than she is and I would just caution you there.

Does DH dislike it because $$$?

Actually it sounds like mom is neutral, daughter is commited and enjoys it, and dad wants her to quit something she loves because he woukd rather she does sports.

OP as long as you can afford it, let her keep doing it as long as she wants to ans is enjoying it.

There is nothing that sports will offer her that she cannot get through dance. Plus dance has the additional benefit of allowing her to access the creative side of her mind in a way sports do not. There is no logical reason coming from your husbands side that justifies having her quit dance.

I disagree with this statement. The problem with dance and adolescent girls is that dance is very focused on appearance/aesthetic. Yes, strength and coordination are required to execute the moves, but it also has to be visually appealing. That aspect can be harmful for girls of a certain age if it isn't balanced with other things because it does create a strong fixation on body and appearance.

Sports, however, is focused solely on functionality. So you get all of the benefits of the physicality that you get through dance (the discipline, the strength, the coordination), but without the fixation on appearance/aesthetic.

I also thing that dance schools are few and far between that really allow the girls creative expression. The dance teachers can be rather heavy handed in instilling their own aesthetic as opposed to really allowing for originality from the students.

Just my opinion.

Sports does not involve artistry and creativity which is an enormous component and benefit of dance. Dance, in particular ballet and tap also involve patterns, memory and intellect,which most sports do not.

The eating disorder thing is in sports as well, not just dance or "girly" spprts.

[Anonymous]

My DD competed (probably 3-4 times a year) ages 10-12 and dropped it in 7th grade. She did not enjoy her studio and teacher so opted to pursue another arts activity instead.

We have 2 cousins who dance much more competitively - as in combined for 26 dances at recent Nationals!! They compete twice a month it seems and summer they attend intensives and camps they win scholarships to at the various competitions. One started high school this year and has actually competed more this past year. The other is in junior high and both are in their studio nearly every day. They LOVE it and show no signs of quitting. It is very much a family commitment, but the girls are both talented and passionate so they think it's worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

she might do HS dance team