People who married someone that they met from online dating

[Anonymous]

Did you know when you read their profile and looked at their pictures or did it take dating them to establish the attraction?

I don't want to go on a bunch of dates with different people but is that how it works? Did you know just from initial conversation that there's more serious potential for that person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you know when you read their profile and looked at their pictures or did it take dating them to establish the attraction?

I don't want to go on a bunch of dates with different people but is that how it works? Did you know just from initial conversation that there's more serious potential for that person?

Yes, that is how it works. I knew my husband was a keeper after the first date, and soon after we connected online, but it was my second go-round with online dating. Between the two periods of my life when I was doing it, I had a lot of missed connections (back and forth messages that never worked out to figuring out how to meet up), some good dates, and some really bad ones.

You need to meet people in person, and quickly. Don't spend weeks messaging and/or on the phone. People turn out to be totally different in person.

That said, you can be reasonably picky to narrow it down to people you're more likely to want to be with. I didn't want to date anyone who lived too far away, was allergic to cats, or already had children. I figured if I was too picky, I could broaden my criteria later.

But the chance that guy #1 or #3 is going to be THE ONE, is really unlikely. Give it a time frame, and see how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you know when you read their profile and looked at their pictures or did it take dating them to establish the attraction?

I don't want to go on a bunch of dates with different people but is that how it works? Did you know just from initial conversation that there's more serious potential for that person?

Yes, that is how it works. I knew my husband was a keeper after the first date, and soon after we connected online, but it was my second go-round with online dating. Between the two periods of my life when I was doing it, I had a lot of missed connections (back and forth messages that never worked out to figuring out how to meet up), some good dates, and some really bad ones.

You need to meet people in person, and quickly. Don't spend weeks messaging and/or on the phone. People turn out to be totally different in person.

That said, you can be reasonably picky to narrow it down to people you're more likely to want to be with. I didn't want to date anyone who lived too far away, was allergic to cats, or already had children. I figured if I was too picky, I could broaden my criteria later.

But the chance that guy #1 or #3 is going to be THE ONE, is really unlikely. Give it a time frame, and see how it goes.

Agree 100%. I treated it like a blind date generator. Anyone who contacted me, I responded with a "let's meet up". We'd go on one or two dates, which was better and more fun than the chatting online. I met DH on the 4th blind date and knew he was the one.

[Anonymous]

It was the actual dating. I dated a number of people online who "looked good on paper but didn't click in person" before meeting the person I married.

[Anonymous]

This will sound strange, but we both knew someone was special about the other before we met. We told each other months after starting to date about how we both kept going back to each other's profile, looking at pictures, and just being interested. We emailed several times before meeting and then had a date and the rest is history. We've been together since 2003.

[Roar]

DW put ad in Washingtonian mag, which I answered -- (pre online dating). She called me after seeing my pic and hand written note. We got together within a three days of first call. We both knew, even though I tried to keep a bachelor as long as I could. She soon enlisted my Mom's help and they devised a perfect plan. Soon I was shopping for diamonds and emeralds. Happy to say we're nearly 20 years from that ad placed.

[Anonymous]

I met my DH on a dating site and we've been married for 9 years. He was online for a long time before he met me, and I was online for maybe a couple of months by that point. I went on a few dates, some were ok, others were awful. I agree though that meeting in person quickly is VERY important. There was one guy that I had really great conversations with on the phone. Everything on paper and phone sounded great. But for some reason when we met in person there was 0 attraction and the interaction wasn't nearly as good. We went on a couple of dates but by then it was clear that we weren't a good match. I can't say that with my DH it was love at first sight or first conversation. We had a nice first date, easy conversation, I thought he was cute. Definitely didn't think we'd be married with 2 kids but it worked out that way. So give it a shot, you never know.

[Anonymous]

I went on several dates with guys I met online. Most were a one-time thing... they might have had a nice profile, but in person exhibited well, let's just say, deal breaker qualities. Or we just didn't click.
There was one guy whose profile really grabbed me... smart, sweet, funny. But I wasn't attracted to his photos. He wasn't ugly, just not the hot guys I was usually drawn to. He had done whatever the equivalent of online winking there was at that time but I ignored it. Then one day I said, eh what the hell and reached out to him. We got together and had a really great time. I think I felt less pressure because I wasn't trying to impress him. We became friends first, and eventually got together. We're married with three kids now. I still sometimes think about wanting to be with a hot guy (I won't lie to you), but that day may never have come and I would have missed out on my husband (who is hot in other ways).

So my advice to you... don't write someone off right away. Doesn't hurt to meet up and grab a bite. See what they're like in person. Worst case, you have a hilarious story to tell your friends. You gotta eat right?

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can tell if someone is the one from their profile. But you use it as a gauge to better understand their personality. Of course profiles are not always accurate, so take that with a grain of salt. I met my DH online and I really liked his profile because he seemed like a simple, nice guy who was smart. Our first date was actually just ok. I didn't have the time of my life, but I think we were both nervous. The second date went much better and we've been together ever since.

[Anonymous]

12:20 here - To add, do not be surprised to see that guys use old pictures on their profiles. It's very very common. Of course that will not change their personality but there were several times when it was very obvious that the guy used pictures that were from waaay back (balding head, big gut, etc). My DH had old pictures, too, where he was a bit skinnier

[Anonymous]

I have gone to 5 weddings brought to you by Match.com.

I don't think any of them knew before they even met. Most knew within the first few dates that the relationship was going somewhere.

[Anonymous]

My brother married someone he met off the personals on Craigslist. He did not know right away - he was dating three girls at the same time and was actually more into another one, but then she moved across the country for a job, so he focused on the two local ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12:20 here - To add, do not be surprised to see that guys use old pictures on their profiles. It's very very common. Of course that will not change their personality but there were several times when it was very obvious that the guy used pictures that were from waaay back (balding head, big gut, etc). My DH had old pictures, too, where he was a bit skinnier

LOL yeah and women neeeeeever use photos from when they were younger and skinnier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12:20 here - To add, do not be surprised to see that guys use old pictures on their profiles. It's very very common. Of course that will not change their personality but there were several times when it was very obvious that the guy used pictures that were from waaay back (balding head, big gut, etc). My DH had old pictures, too, where he was a bit skinnier

LOL yeah and women neeeeeever use photos from when they were younger and skinnier.

I never said that... But I also never looked at women's profiles or went on any dates with women, being a woman myself. I imagine that women do it as well. But I was speaking from my personal experience only so stop putting words in my mouth

[Anonymous]

The best dates I had were the ones where I was meh about the profile/pictures but they seemed nice. I married the one where I was meh on until the third date when things clicked and I just knew he'd was amazing.