Just want to say f*** it

[Anonymous]

This might be long.

I have posted on various boards about my marriage - how horrible it was and how horrible it's been since I left. My husband won't give me any money for the kids, he's being a total jerk in communication, we can't reach an agreement about anything, etc....

Well, my mom today told me how upset she is that our upcoming beach vacation won't just be a "happy family" scenario. Like, jeez mom, sorry my marriage ended - it must be so hard for you! She went on to defend my husband, including his unwillingness to pay support, by saying it was probably a real surprise for him to find us gone. (He cheated on me, was emotionally abusive, financially controlling, and had a drinking problem - she knows all of this).

Here's the dilemma: my husband is coming to the states in a few days and will be staying for three weeks. He's supposed to keep the kids for most of that time. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to go to the beach with my mom - STBX will stay nearby with the kids and come and go. I'm so disgusted with him, with the situation, and now with her, that I'm tempted just to drop the kids off and stay home until I'm supposed to pick them up again.

WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know it's stressful.

If it was me, I'd tell him to f--- off re: the money. I can pay for the kids myself.

Money is a total control things with men. When they can't control you with money, they totally freak out.

[Anonymous]

why did you invite him to the family beach house?

[Anonymous]

If he won't give you any money for child support, why are you letting him see the kids? Skip the beach vacation entirely and take the kids someplace for three weeks.

Your mother is a bitch, btw. What a crappy thing to say to your child.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let him have the kids at all without child support. Regardless, if you have to let him have the kids, I would absolutely stay home and avoid your mother.

Sorry, OP - your situation really sucks. Can I ask why you cannot compel him to support his children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he won't give you any money for child support, why are you letting him see the kids? Skip the beach vacation entirely and take the kids someplace for three weeks.

Your mother is a bitch, btw. What a crappy thing to say to your child.

Child support isn't payment to spend time with the kids. If the ex is not abusive to the kids, and they are safe with him, then they should see him. If ex isn't paying, op has to pursue every avenue available to her to make him pay. Her Mom is being an unsupportive ass. OP should probably skip the vacation or go somewhere else altogether.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why did you invite him to the family beach house?

He's not invited, but he has friends nearby. Since he's in the states for such a short time, I agreed to let him have the kids. My mom wants them around while we're there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't let him have the kids at all without child support. Regardless, if you have to let him have the kids, I would absolutely stay home and avoid your mother.

Sorry, OP - your situation really sucks. Can I ask why you cannot compel him to support his children?

I've posted elsewhere regarding this situation - he's a fed working overseas and a few sources have told me they can't go after him. I'm in touch with his agency to see what they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he won't give you any money for child support, why are you letting him see the kids? Skip the beach vacation entirely and take the kids someplace for three weeks.

Your mother is a bitch, btw. What a crappy thing to say to your child.

I think she's being a bitch, too. She literally said "you're not the only one going through this." As though she were a primary player too. She wants to make sure I have a "stock answer" ready at my daughter's birthday party, which she's hosting on Saturday.

[Anonymous]

You can't withhold access to his kids. This could negatively impact your custody agreement as the divorce is finalized.

You're the OP who lived overseas and got pregnant two years ago, after he had an emotional affair, right? And then you were upset that he sold your car after you left?

If so, you have a habit of distorting reality for attention. Maybe your mother's comment wasn't referring to your estranged husband not coming to the beach, but the fact that your constant drama is a black cloud over her vacation.

It's good that you finally left your husband, but you need to get a grip on the drama, for your kids' sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't withhold access to his kids. This could negatively impact your custody agreement as the divorce is finalized.

You're the OP who lived overseas and got pregnant two years ago, after he had an emotional affair, right? And then you were upset that he sold your car after you left?

If so, you have a habit of distorting reality for attention. Maybe your mother's comment wasn't referring to your estranged husband not coming to the beach, but the fact that your constant drama is a black cloud over her vacation.

It's good that you finally left your husband, but you need to get a grip on the drama, for your kids' sake.

First point, I am not planning on restricting his access to the kids.

Second point, I found out he had cheated physically when I was already pregnant.

Third point, he has listed my car for sale.

Forth point, why are you being so nasty?

[Anonymous]

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/566470.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/570638.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/639091.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/653336.page#11173719

[Anonymous]

Thanks for posting those threads, PP! Your research skills are remarkable.

[Anonymous]

Yes you have posted here a bunch of times and do seem like you like drama. It sounds like you kidnapped your kids and left the country then were surprised that your husband was angry. Maybe mom thinks you made some bad decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he won't give you any money for child support, why are you letting him see the kids? Skip the beach vacation entirely and take the kids someplace for three weeks.

Your mother is a bitch, btw. What a crappy thing to say to your child.

I think she's being a bitch, too. She literally said "you're not the only one going through this." As though she were a primary player too. She wants to make sure I have a "stock answer" ready at my daughter's birthday party, which she's hosting on Saturday.

I assume that since you've said you have no money or a job, that your mother is helping you financially and in other ways. Am I wrong?