How to raise bright toddlers? SAHM

[Anonymous]

I'm looking for book and toy recommendations and also just would appreciate some thoughts on parenting style. I'm neither tiger mom nor free range, although probably verging free range, especially in the eyes of a lot of DCUM.

Here's the thing, I think my kid is very bright (yea yea I know.) One thing I recognize though is that high IQ does not necessarily correlate to success and happiness. My husband is unfortunately the example of this, he tested in the 130 range of IQ multiple times as a child but only has an associates degree and had mental health struggles. He was just not emotionally competent in school and at the same time very bored, and a teacher and parents never were able to truly support him (military kid, overseas and moving a lot.)

My kid just turned two. His vocabulary learning speed is incredible. Multiple strangers have remarked (examples include a flooring contractor, when my kid butted in to learn all about the tools he was using and insisted on "Measuring samples" with him, and counted the inches on the measuring tape) He said something like, "ok, I'm around a lot of little kids, this kid is insanely smart."

So like, what do I owe him as a parent? How hard should I push? My husband thinks we need to step up as no on intervened and helped him as a kid. We wish that we could afford a private preschool next year, but we can't. I'm a SAHM and will likely have another kid soon. We have no flash cards, we don't do drills, I'm not pushing him to learn his letters or learn to read or anything. He can recognize about half the letters just from us reading books, and can write Os and Es with a crayon. At what point do I owe him an "education" and how much should I just let him be. We're in fairfax county - from what I can tell he won't be tested for anything until second grade, is that correct? Our elementary school is acceptable (GS4).

I see those kids on Ellen reciting facts and things, I feel like I could probably create that with him, or something close to it, ("oh he knows all this countries! and state capitals!") but I don't want to force it at all. He has a farm animal puzzle and can do it very fast saying the names and sounds, it sits discarded because I think its boring to him. Do I step it up and get something more "academic" like, the world, or truly drill letters or something? He seems to have an innate fascination with the sky, sun, moon, stars, telescopes and binoculars. Do I start pushing planets?? (that seems so abstract to me, but he will go "rocketship, blast off, space, up up up, bye bye moon" insistently, as though he understands, its hard to explain and very freaky.)

I realize I sound insufferable, "oh my kid is so special" but at the same time, I am starting to feel a little nag like, ok, maybe he needs more from me. Are there SAHP "homeschool" groups for the preschool set?

[Anonymous]

Parent of a highly gifted child who was herself a highly gifted child, don't start your child with drills and flash cards at this age. It's developmentally inappropriate no matter how bright he is. The best thing to do with him is to let him learn through playing, giving him materials that are appropriate to his level. If his puzzles have become too easy, get him some new ones that are more challenging, even if he hasn't officially reached the recommended age range for them. If he likes things related to space, find some library books about these things at his level -- as bright as he is, he's still going to want to look at pictures while you read to him. If he seems ready to learn some basic math, you can teach him that through play -- if he's playing with blocks, ask him to stack two blocks, then ask him to add three more, then ask him how many he has now; then take one away and again ask how many now. Take him over to a nature center, let him look at the animals, go for a hike, and then if he's interested in learning more, again, get some age-appropriate books on whatever engaged him.

[Anonymous]

My philosophy on raising bright kids: leave them alone to explore and figure things out themselves.

Don't pump them full of facts or think that memorizing anything means they know or understand what they're reciting.

My mom taught my 2 year old the biologically correct names for several of his body parts, and wow, people think he's smart because of it. But he's not. Learning "patella" instead of "knee" isn't remarkable in and of itself.

[Anonymous]

You can't force bright. bright either is or isn't present, much like charisma.

[Anonymous]

Lots of free play, access to the outside, access to books. Follow the kid's lead. Our kid just turned two and is incessant with bringing me things or seeing signs and saying, "What does this say, Mommy? What does this say?"

I wouldn't force that kind of interaction, but I'm happy to follow her lead when she shows interest in something.

[Anonymous]

Children learn through playing. If his current puzzle is too boring that doesn't mean you switch to flashcards. It means you get a more challenging puzzle.

Give him lots of opportunities to play in lots of different ways. Read to him every day. Explain what you're doing.

[Anonymous]

He is likely to be bright and learn well and quickly no matter what you do or do not do. Work on making him a decent human being who relates will to others. Keep up his curiosity and imagination. Read to him a lot even when he can read himself. Start a second language early.

[Anonymous]

Just keep doing what you are doing. You have noticed it but, really he is already learning so no need to go overboard.

[Anonymous]

Former teacher now SAHM.

Those kids on Ellen are the worst. They have one trick (capitals, animals, etc) and their parents drill them like crazy. I put their parents up there with the Toddlers and Tiaras moms. Do you want a kid like that?

I don't care how bright my son is. I want him to be kind, polite, thoughtful, generous, and loving. I want him to be creative and inquisitive and love to learn.

As for vocabulary skills, stay on DCUM long enough and you'll notice that every parent thinks their child has incredible vocabulary. It's a well educated area with people who read and talk to their kids a lot. It's pretty average around here.

[Anonymous]

I believe in play based learning.
I believe in free time and having kids explore things on their own and coming up with their own ideas rather than having so many things being adult led.
I look into ways to encourage social skills in addition to academic skills.
I praise hard work over things coming naturally easy.
I think it's "good" for kids to be bored at times and to have to figure out something creative to do on their own.
I limit screen time to 1 hour a day and I read to the kids every night before bed.

Yes, in FCPS there is some differentiation in K-2 and depending on the school some level II AAP services in 1st & 2nd, but full time AAP starts in 3rd. The testing for AAP is one test in 1st and 1 test in 2nd.

[Anonymous]

Research homeschooling for preschool. You don't need to do anything formal at this age. Depending on what area you're in, you may find homeschool groups which provide opportunities to get together and play and explore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former teacher now SAHM.

Those kids on Ellen are the worst. They have one trick (capitals, animals, etc) and their parents drill them like crazy. I put their parents up there with the Toddlers and Tiaras moms. Do you want a kid like that?

I don't care how bright my son is. I want him to be kind, polite, thoughtful, generous, and loving. I want him to be creative and inquisitive and love to learn.

As for vocabulary skills, stay on DCUM long enough and you'll notice that every parent thinks their child has incredible vocabulary. It's a well educated area with people who read and talk to their kids a lot. It's pretty average around here.

+1. I actually know someone whose kid was on the Ellen show, she's completely one-dimensional because she has this hook and her parents promote it like crazy to the exclusion of a whole lot of other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe in play based learning.
I believe in free time and having kids explore things on their own and coming up with their own ideas rather than having so many things being adult led.
I look into ways to encourage social skills in addition to academic skills.
I praise hard work over things coming naturally easy.
I think it's "good" for kids to be bored at times and to have to figure out something creative to do on their own.
I limit screen time to 1 hour a day and I read to the kids every night before bed.

Yes, in FCPS there is some differentiation in K-2 and depending on the school some level II AAP services in 1st & 2nd, but full time AAP starts in 3rd. The testing for AAP is one test in 1st and 1 test in 2nd.

This is us, too.

[Anonymous]

Mensa member here with 2 toddlers. Agree not to drill with flash cards. What I do is always explain everything we do and let them try things too. For example, I'll tell them we're taking this road to the playground because it's rush hour and the other road will be busy, then explain rush hour if they ask. I explain why we're going to get gas in the car, etc etc..

Then when I do stuff at home, like changing a light bulb or preparing food, I explain each step and encourage them to try it themselves with my help. A lot of people tell kids _what_ they are doing but not _why_.

[Anonymous]

Limit screens. Read to him. Let him play. Give him art supplies and building toys (Duplos). Listen to music. Go outside. That's it. Don't overthink it.