How to raise bright toddlers? SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are thousands of books out there, but I think you should probably read Nurture Shock amongst others. Once you start fighting for your "smart" child, you're in a road to kill his internal motivation. I was gifted and college was a huge shock to me bc I had been the "smart kid" at my middling HS and never had to work hard. My husband wasn't gifted, but similar to the other PP a "hustler" from a low-income family and I would say he's more successful than I am. IF your kid is unusually bright, I agree you should be focusing on social skills, manners, and independence/internal motivation. My oldest is very curious and since he was 18 months has gone through phases of intense interest in space, firefighting, ice harvesting, etc. We just go to museums, borrow books from libraries - as long as they have pictures- provide a lot of props for imagining and he takes it as far as he wants. Especially if you SAH this should be straightforward. And sign him up for preschool. Don't do worksheets.

we can't afford any preschools that are anything more than just daycares.

This is ironic since full daycare costs me $1400 a month but before I went back to work our part time play based preschool was $280 a month.

She has a misconception of daycare. Ours had well reputed preschools included.

Yes, same. There's a library and computer lab and a curriculum for crying out loud.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

Oh and by not that successful, I do of course have an advanced degree from an ivy and a good job. But I'm not very motivated and I don't make the best decisions.

Read the recent time magazine article about brilliant and successful siblings. The idea that it takes tons of kimono or practices is outdated. Everyone does that now. You have to think outside the box. Independence and resourcefulness and imaginative play are probably the most saliebnt things for developing truly exceptional abilities. And the ability to really engage in that can be encouraged only at the margins.

Really interesting article! I especially liked this line from one of the parents:
"But Esther has a theory. “The more you do for your kids, the less they do for themselves,"

This was a good one too: "“You cannot reach anybody’s goal. You’ve got to reach your own goal,” says Gino Rodriguez. “You cannot reach a goal unless you set that goal for yourself.”"

Link please? Other book recs would be welcome too.

You can become more of a self starter right here by using the google.

i searched gifted siblings on the time site and nothing recent came up. thanks.

http://time.com/superfamilies/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limit screens. Read to him. Let him play. Give him art supplies and building toys (Duplos). Listen to music. Go outside. That's it. Don't overthink it.

Even the screen limiting is whatever. My husband grew up in front of the TV, my inlaws are awesome people but getting involved with kids is not their thing. Husband is very bright (went to an league school) and well adjusted. Only unfortunate side effect is that he's now in show business.
Bright kids will find a way, so don't stress OP, play and watch movies together and just enjoy your kid.

Agree on the TV. My husband is honestly one of the smartest people I know (taught himself coding and data analytics, and at 30 years old is now a VP at a $2 billion company) and he watched a crapton of TV as a kid (and still does).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limit screens. Read to him. Let him play. Give him art supplies and building toys (Duplos). Listen to music. Go outside. That's it. Don't overthink it.

Even the screen limiting is whatever. My husband grew up in front of the TV, my inlaws are awesome people but getting involved with kids is not their thing. Husband is very bright (went to an league school) and well adjusted. Only unfortunate side effect is that he's now in show business.
Bright kids will find a way, so don't stress OP, play and watch movies together and just enjoy your kid.

Agree on the TV. My husband is honestly one of the smartest people I know (taught himself coding and data analytics, and at 30 years old is now a VP at a $2 billion company) and he watched a crapton of TV as a kid (and still does).

You cannot prove a negative. You have no idea how much smarter or more successful your husbands would be if they hadn't watched TV. Personal anecdotes are useless.

That said, I love TV. And so do my kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

Oh and by not that successful, I do of course have an advanced degree from an ivy and a good job. But I'm not very motivated and I don't make the best decisions.

Read the recent time magazine article about brilliant and successful siblings. The idea that it takes tons of kimono or practices is outdated. Everyone does that now. You have to think outside the box. Independence and resourcefulness and imaginative play are probably the most saliebnt things for developing truly exceptional abilities. And the ability to really engage in that can be encouraged only at the margins.

Really interesting article! I especially liked this line from one of the parents:
"But Esther has a theory. “The more you do for your kids, the less they do for themselves,"

This was a good one too: "“You cannot reach anybody’s goal. You’ve got to reach your own goal,” says Gino Rodriguez. “You cannot reach a goal unless you set that goal for yourself.”"

Link please? Other book recs would be welcome too.

You can become more of a self starter right here by using the google.

i searched gifted siblings on the time site and nothing recent came up. thanks.

http://time.com/superfamilies/

NP here and this is really a great article! Thanks!

[Anonymous]

OP, your kid sounds like every other 2 yr old. All toddlers get bored with farm puzzles. They have the attention span of a gnat.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like you've read any parenting books describing the developmental stages of kids. It also doesn't sound like you've been around other toddlers. Because they all are pretty much just. Like. Your. Child.

[Anonymous]

NP here - what does "get a kid tested" even mean? If your kid does not go to school yet (or is in a little church preschool) how do you "get them tested" for giftedness?

[Anonymous]

Send him to preschool. My child's verbal abilities and knowledge about random things went through the roof after she started preschool. Not to mention it is great for their social skills.

Other than that, please don't turn into *that* mom. Yes, your child is special, but no, he does not need to be that fact reciting child on Ellen. He's two, let him play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My kid just turned two. His vocabulary learning speed is incredible. Multiple strangers have remarked (examples include a flooring contractor, when my kid butted in to learn all about the tools he was using and insisted on "Measuring samples" with him, and counted the inches on the measuring tape) He said something like, "ok, I'm around a lot of little kids, this kid is insanely smart."

Look. I'm the mother of a child that is similar in terms of language. I'm fortunate enough to have an MIL who teaches speech pathology at a major university, and so is totally up on all the literature, etc. - according to her and our pediatrician, my child, at age one, had the verbal ability of a 2 1/2 year old. I haven't given it a second thought other than we were very lucky that she was able to communicate with us so it made it easier for us to meet her needs (we have a one year old now who doesn't know ANY words, so I am able to see the other side of it, too!). My older one is a four year old, and still speaks ahead of her age, but emotionally is a four year old. And that's how we treat her. Because she's a child, and all she really should be doing is having a good time. She's in preschool, it's fantastic for her, she learns a ton, remembers everything, and is a happy, fun child. I really don't care if she's gifted or not, I just want her to be happy.

PLEASE don't make your two year old do anything academic. If you send him to preschool, make sure it's play based without any academics. He's TWO, he doesn't need academics, he needs love, he needs someone to read him lots and lots of books, and he needs to play, play, play, because that is how two year olds learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't sound like you've read any parenting books describing the developmental stages of kids. It also doesn't sound like you've been around other toddlers. Because they all are pretty much just. Like. Your. Child.

LOL but the FLOORING GUY thinks her kid is a genius!!! lolololol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kid just turned two. His vocabulary learning speed is incredible. Multiple strangers have remarked (examples include a flooring contractor, when my kid butted in to learn all about the tools he was using and insisted on "Measuring samples" with him, and counted the inches on the measuring tape) He said something like, "ok, I'm around a lot of little kids, this kid is insanely smart."

Look. I'm the mother of a child that is similar in terms of language. I'm fortunate enough to have an MIL who teaches speech pathology at a major university, and so is totally up on all the literature, etc. - according to her and our pediatrician, my child, at age one, had the verbal ability of a 2 1/2 year old. I haven't given it a second thought other than we were very lucky that she was able to communicate with us so it made it easier for us to meet her needs (we have a one year old now who doesn't know ANY words, so I am able to see the other side of it, too!). My older one is a four year old, and still speaks ahead of her age, but emotionally is a four year old. And that's how we treat her. Because she's a child, and all she really should be doing is having a good time. She's in preschool, it's fantastic for her, she learns a ton, remembers everything, and is a happy, fun child. I really don't care if she's gifted or not, I just want her to be happy.

PLEASE don't make your two year old do anything academic. If you send him to preschool, make sure it's play based without any academics. He's TWO, he doesn't need academics, he needs love, he needs someone to read him lots and lots of books, and he needs to play, play, play, because that is how two year olds learn.

The most recent studies are actually changing this recommendation to include problem-solving play as well as some "academics". 100% play based is not the gold standard anymore. Interestingly, Montessori has been right all along.

I read the latest research in the NYT about a month or six weeks ago. I'm sure you could still google it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn't say anything about his social skill. I think he needs less of you and more of other kids. You'll see soon that there are plenty of sharp toddler.

This. When we hit a wall with what we can do with DS, we sent him to preschool. I feel soft skills are far more important in life than even mild understanding of Algebra. You can reasonably assume your child will do well in school, but you can't really tell how gifted he is at this age. Wait till he has a chance to compete with other bright kids out there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, a 130 iq is not that big of a deal. Esp in this area. Many many people responding probably have iqs in the 150 range. I do. I read pride and prejudice for fun at 6. And understood almost all of it. That said, I have massive anxiety - many brilliant people do - and I'm not really that successful because I never had to try at anything intellectual.

As far as supporting him now, when you are literally a genius, you do it yourself. Those kind of kids build houses from cards without any kind of instruction, create complex games, read, etc. If your kid isn't developing his intellect on his own, he's average smart.

This is OP. I'm troubled by this attitude though. I think there are a lot of gifted kids falling through the cracks that have the same potential and intellect as those that are "successful" in the eyes of society. The public school system failed my husband. It wasn't his fault he was a D student in high school, I truly believe that. How do I do better for my son? and at what age do I start?

You do better for your child by getting your anxiety under control. Start at whatever age you are now. It will help a lot.

[Anonymous]

Sigh... OP, I understand your and DH's propensity to blame others, but when an able-bodied adult says the public school system failed him, he sounds pathetic and... well, not as bright as he may think he is.