Traveling for family medical procedures

[Anonymous]

I need advice, and this could go in the Health and Medicine forum but it's really about my 68yr old dad. Backstory is he has been morbidly obese his entire life. He is 69yrs old and other than golfing multiple times per week, is basically sedentary. Think Donald Trump physique, honestly.

My mom just sent an email that they are at the follow up appointment with his cardiologist and will be having a heart catheterization at the end of this week or beginning of next. Let's put aside my annoyance that although this is the follow up after what were apparently multiple tests last week, I'm only just now learning about this. Ok, deep breath for myself. According to my mom, if they go in through his wrist it's an outpatient procedure. If it's through the groin, it's a hospital overnight. And if they find a blockage they'll put in a stent right there on the table.

My question is whether this procedure rises to the level of making the trip, which would necessitate either 10hrs in the car each way or an expensive last minute plane ticket plus time off of work, juggling child care and all the other logistics. I know this is likely the start of years' worth of determining what rises to the level of travel to be onsite, versus weighing what procedures and appointments I just can't be there for. FWIW, my sister lives two miles away from them, so I'd expect that she will be at the hospital with my mom, or at least nearby if something happens.

I don't know much about this procedure and am trying to figure out what to do. I can't afford the money or vacation time to race to their sides for every single health scare in the coming decade or two, but I also don't want to under-react to a circumstance either. Any BTDT from posters with older parents and experience with this procedure?

[Anonymous]

My dad had that test to determine whether or not he needed open heart surgery (he did; it was done a different day). They went in through the groin and he did not stay overnight.

BTW, my dad was in his late 50's when he had this done, so younger than your dad, and not obese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need advice, and this could go in the Health and Medicine forum but it's really about my 68yr old dad. Backstory is he has been morbidly obese his entire life. He is 69yrs old and other than golfing multiple times per week, is basically sedentary. Think Donald Trump physique, honestly.

My mom just sent an email that they are at the follow up appointment with his cardiologist and will be having a heart catheterization at the end of this week or beginning of next. Let's put aside my annoyance that although this is the follow up after what were apparently multiple tests last week, I'm only just now learning about this. Ok, deep breath for myself. According to my mom, if they go in through his wrist it's an outpatient procedure. If it's through the groin, it's a hospital overnight. And if they find a blockage they'll put in a stent right there on the table.

My question is whether this procedure rises to the level of making the trip, which would necessitate either 10hrs in the car each way or an expensive last minute plane ticket plus time off of work, juggling child care and all the other logistics. I know this is likely the start of years' worth of determining what rises to the level of travel to be onsite, versus weighing what procedures and appointments I just can't be there for. FWIW, my sister lives two miles away from them, so I'd expect that she will be at the hospital with my mom, or at least nearby if something happens.

I don't know much about this procedure and am trying to figure out what to do. I can't afford the money or vacation time to race to their sides for every single health scare in the coming decade or two, but I also don't want to under-react to a circumstance either. Any BTDT from posters with older parents and experience with this procedure?

I'm going to start by saying that Donald Trump isn't morbidly obese, and that fat shaming your own father because he needs a procedure that's very common at this age is pretty horrifying.

Having said that, given that your sister is close by if your mother needs help caring for him, I don't think this is enough of an emergency for you to need to travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to start by saying that Donald Trump isn't morbidly obese, and that fat shaming your own father because he needs a procedure that's very common at this age is pretty horrifying.

Having said that, given that your sister is close by if your mother needs help caring for him, I don't think this is enough of an emergency for you to need to travel.

OP. I'm not fat-shaming. Dr. Google's many websites say that obesity and morbid obesity raise the risk factors, that's the only reason I mentioned it. Thank you for your input on the travel piece.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't travel for this, given all the hoops you have to jump through. What if they determine he needs a surgery? Let him get through diagnostics and go from there.

[Anonymous]

I just read that if they find a blockage they'll put in a stent right there, but my answer doesn't change.

[Anonymous]

Your whole first paragraph is weird. Not even sure why a non-obese Donald Trump is in there. If your Dad has his physique then he isn't morbidly obese regardless of what Dr. Google says.

That said, my FIL just went through this. We didn't find out either until the Monday before the Wed procedure. While not obese, not the healthiest guy around. They went through the groin and a stent was placed. He ended up not staying over night but didnhave to stay extemely still after the procedure for a number of hours. It was an all day thing but we didn't go except to bring MIL lunch and we are local.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like anything you need to be there for.

[Anonymous]

It depends on how your mother is in these situations. Does she shut down, does she ask questions, does she blindly accept whatever the doctor says? If you have concerns and questions for the doctor, be there. If you can't be there, you cannot be critical later. I always think it's a good idea to have an additional person to listen to medical advice.

[Anonymous]

Your first paragraph regarding your dad and then the fact that your mom didn't say anything until the last minute kind of make me think that they don't want you there. Sounds like you may not be the support they need right now.

[Anonymous]

Cardiac Cath's are not a big deal; they are minimally invasive. I have had 4 of them; two have involved stents and were life saving.

Here is how it works: they put it in through your leg or risk, image the heart, and if it is ok, pull it out. Then then keep you there four several hours to minimize the risk of bleeding, and send you home.

If they have to do something (angioplasty/stent), they keep you overnight.

In my case, I got the stent on Friday and was at work on monday. The other time, there were other things done
in the same hospital stay (pacemaker) which lead to a longer recovery time.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I should add...no do travel for this.

[Anonymous]

When I think Donald Trump I am hard pressed to think morbidly obese.

[Anonymous]

No, you don't need to travel for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I think Donald Trump I am hard pressed to think morbidly obese.

I think a lot of negative thoughts, but he is not morbidly obese.