Not meshing well sexually
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Anonymous
| My husband and I have been together for 10 years. Our second kid really messed me up hormonally and I was so disinterested for like a year, but always acquiesced two times a week. We are trying really hard to get back into the swing of things with daily sex but I still struggle. Sometimes I just give up, we are 30 minutes in, it's not going anywhere and I am SO in my own head. I just feel like this is extreme failure on my part. How do I let go? |
Anonymous
Ugh I don't know, but I'm going through something similar. Solidarity 
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Anonymous
| You can each adjust somewhat, but with libido mismatch some compromise is needed. |
Anonymous
| Daily sex is crazy, you need to lower your expectations. Nobody can have sex every day for the rest of their lives, you need to be realistic and adjust, focus on quality more than quantity. |
Anonymous
| Can you mix it up a little. Maybe watch a seductive movie to get you in the mood? Honestly, doing it everyday when you don't want to is not helping the situation. Maybe just lay down together and cuddle and talk a few days a week to get a better connection. |
Anonymous
| daily is a lot. when DH and I were having a hard time getting back into it postpartum, someone told me to do it at least every 3 days to get back in the groove. this worked well because it took the pressure off any given night, but we really committed to doing it within the 3 day window. often ended up having good sex more than we planned. |
Anonymous
Thanks, it's really killing me. Like it will be going great and I will be enjoying myself and then it's like someone flipped a switch and I stop enjoying myself. Then I try to enjoy myself again and I just lost that momentum. |
Anonymous
| Divorce now and save him from a lifetime of misery. |
Anonymous
|
Op, is there anything in particular you enjoy that helps get you in the mood or through it? I'm sorry. This happens to me sometimes too.
Also, is your DH attentive to your needs and trying to make it a good experience for you? |
Anonymous
| Daily sex?!? My vagina would hurt like hell. 2 times a week is average but please don't be a corpse in bed. Have some drinks and have drunk sex. You will get back into the swing of things |
Anonymous
He is attentive! He tries hard. Honestly, I think last night was just bad and that has really gotten into my head. He bought something called climax spray thinking it would help both of us and it was a NUMBING spray! He had me spray it and I had oversprayed it, it got all over me til I felt nothing, all over him. Then I was upset because I was *so* close, and then just numb. Ugh. |
Anonymous
|
How does one "stop enjoying myself" during sex?
Are you sure you're doing it correctly? |
Anonymous
| OP when is the last time you had some time to yourself to recharge? Maybe you need a spa day on your own. |
Anonymous
| Both my DH and I have very active libidos and good imagination but sex every day is not in the cards. I don't want it to be like basic hygiene, something I do everyday whether I want to or not. 2-3 times is week is plenty but you have to be in the right mood. With us, one of us will usually send a signal early in the evening such as DH massaging my shoulders or some other flirty act. In bed we take quite awhile to warm up. While we are not wildly adventuresome (I'm not a Cosmo girl!) we have enough variety to make it very pleasurable. |
Anonymous
| 30 min/day, 7 days/week??? That's a lot. |