DH away on work trip, MIL and FIL want to have dinner.

[Anonymous]

I know this makes me sound like a Giant Asshole but hear me out.

DH has been away on a work trip for a month, coming home in approx. 2-3 weeks. His parents want to take me out for dinner. Just me.

I'm very shy and introverted and really don't want to. I know this makes me sound horrible but I don't really want to spend time with them without DH around. He is very close with his family and talks to them multiple times per week and may see them once or twice. I have no problem with this but REALLY enjoy my free time and space when he's gone.

I know its *just one dinner*, but I'd really rather not.

[Anonymous]

You are posting why?

[Anonymous]

You need to do this dinner. I would hate this, too, but I would go.

[Anonymous]

Um you should go. It's seriously just one dinner. How old are you??

[Anonymous]

Suck it up and go. Be a big girl

[Anonymous]

I think it is super sweet that they are thinking about you!!! I would meet them halfway and go to dinner. It is one dinner. Try to accept it as their goodwill and that they are reaching out to you. Remember that they know their son loves you. They may be just as nervous as you.

If you are worried about conversation you can always ask questions about when your husband was a kid. I am sure that they would love to regale you with stories about him!

[Anonymous]

Be happy they like you. It's nice to be liked. I liked mine but they have both passed away. One evening.

[Anonymous]

You should go. And think about the alternative. When my ILs come to visit, half the time I think they are hoping I won't join for meals so they get more time with DH.

[Anonymous]

Having a good relationship with your ILs far outweighs having a bad relationship with your ILs. I wouldn't be thrilled about going either but you have to go.

[Anonymous]

It's one evening out of two months, it's nice that they're thinking of you, it's even better that they want to take you out to a restaurant where the meal is guaranteed to progress at a steady rate so you know you won't be stuck there forever. They couldn't make this easier on you - stop being difficult and act like an adult.

[Anonymous]

I'm introverted too, OP, but you need to do this.

I would say differently if you indicated they were unkind or abusive to you.

It's one dinner 2-3 hours at best.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to if you feel uncomfortable.

However, consider a short lunch or even coffee.

You'll get to know them and him better.

Full disclosure: my ex is psychotic and his parents enable him, but kid and I have lunch or a visit with his parents 3-4 times a year without him. Reminds them I'm a very good mom and they are humans (who accidentally produced a monster). Last visit (5 weeks ago), they gave me family photos and let slip that his second divorce is going poorly and he's "engaged" to a married 30 year old with two kids.

[Anonymous]

You need to go and be gracious. It is very nice if them to reach out to you. Perhaps your DH asked them to because he was concerned with you being home this whole time.

[Anonymous]

Forget about introverted. I have social anxiety, and don't have much in common with my ILs.

Thankfully they talk and I listen and nod and smile and play the part of the submissive Asian DIL.

I've had to suffer through So Much Worse. This is nothing in terms of tedium or awkwardness or plain social panic. I've had to give speeches in front of hundreds of people, OP - me, the person with social anxiety!

If I can do it, so can you.

[Anonymous]

Control the variables. Meet them there. 90 minutes, you can be out of there.