If you want to know somebody, divorce them (vent!)

[Anonymous]

In the week since we've separated, my STBXH has:

-drained our joint checking account
-threatened criminal action against me
-threatened me with criminal action if I don't sign a separation agreement HE wants (blackmail)
-listed my car for sale (I left the area where we were living)
-threatened to take custody of the children

Less than a week.

[Anonymous]

Sorry op.

If he didn't see this coming or doesn't want it to happen then he sees you as the bad person for ruining the family. There may be more to this story than just the actions you listed.

If he was the one who filed, then yes, he's a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

You removed the kids from the area that you were living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You removed the kids from the area that you were living?

Yes. We were living overseas and I have more access to resources and legal services (to say nothing of employment) in the US. He knows we're here.

[Anonymous]

Thats disgusting.

OP I hope you are documenting all of this well. Can you drain the other accounts you guys have together? It's very important you have documentation of ALL of it, very detailed, so you can fight his behavior in court.

[Anonymous]

You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You removed the kids from the area that you were living?

Yes. We were living overseas and I have more access to resources and legal services (to say nothing of employment) in the US. He knows we're here.

Did he know you were taking them out of the country before you took them? That doesn't even sound legal.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you ask for sympathy from any of the countless men whose sweet little wives turned into cold, heartless, grasping bitches when they filed for divorce...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

And this is male craziness during a divorce, y'all. I worked for a family law firm- I'm telling ya, men lose their goddman minds during a divorce. That's why women have to go in guns drawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

He cheated on me and was emotionally abusive and financially controlling while I stayed home with the kids. But okay...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

Not everyone treats the person divorcing them as an enemy. Some people are even mature enough to realize that when there are kids involved, it's in their best interest for their parents to divorce cooperatively rather than antagonistically. OP's subject line is right on the mark, character comes out in spades in situations like this, and not everyone's character is good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

He cheated on me and was emotionally abusive and financially controlling while I stayed home with the kids. But okay...

Listen. You have posted 100 times on this site and I advise you to come to the US but don't post "you don't really know somebody until you divorce".

You clearly knew he was crazy.

You are wrapped up in the drama. You need to stop posting and get serious amounts of therapy.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Wanted to add that he told a mutual friend I have untreated mental illness and refuse therapy (I have a standing therapy appointment on Saturdays that's he knows about).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

And this is male craziness during a divorce, y'all. I worked for a family law firm- I'm telling ya, men lose their goddman minds during a divorce. That's why women have to go in guns drawn.

So true. Most men are losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

He cheated on me and was emotionally abusive and financially controlling while I stayed home with the kids. But okay...

Listen. You have posted 100 times on this site and I advise you to come to the US but don't post "you don't really know somebody until you divorce".

You clearly knew he was crazy.

You are wrapped up in the drama. You need to stop posting and get serious amounts of therapy.

Good luck!

Well thanks. Part of why I post on an anonymous forum is for community and support. IRL issues like this are difficult for people to discuss.

I also had no idea he would be so vindictive. I guess part of me was hoping my leaving would make him remorseful.