If you want to know somebody, divorce them (vent!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

And this is male craziness during a divorce, y'all. I worked for a family law firm- I'm telling ya, men lose their goddman minds during a divorce. That's why women have to go in guns drawn.

Really? Explain more please. I am a woman without a lot of financial resources who needs to file. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry about the whole situation, OP.

You should have secured the money beforehand, honestly. Not to sound fixated on filthy lucre, but money is everything is a divorce.

I hope this gets better from here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm sorry about the whole situation, OP.

You should have secured the money beforehand, honestly. Not to sound fixated on filthy lucre, but money is everything is a divorce.

I hope this gets better from here!

OP here. I'm living on a cash advance from a credit card. STBXH controlled the finances and my access to them - he would always question any withdrawal, which I would end up using on necessities because he would flip out over any transaction I would make except for grocery shopping. So, I tried to squirrel away money but it was almost impossible. (I stayed at home with a toddler and baby, btw.)

[Anonymous]

What does your attorney say?

If the car is overseas, and you are in the US and filing for divorce, it is unlikely you will use that car again. It's best if he sells it, and the proceeds become part of the property settlement.

You don't file for divorce hoping it will make him change. You file for divorce because you have decided you no longer want to be married to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

He cheated on me and was emotionally abusive and financially controlling while I stayed home with the kids. But okay...

Listen. You have posted 100 times on this site and I advise you to come to the US but don't post "you don't really know somebody until you divorce".

You clearly knew he was crazy.

You are wrapped up in the drama. You need to stop posting and get serious amounts of therapy.

Good luck!

Well thanks. Part of why I post on an anonymous forum is for community and support. IRL issues like this are difficult for people to discuss.

I also had no idea he would be so vindictive. I guess part of me was hoping my leaving would make him remorseful.

There is no use in leaving to try to make anyone remorseful, esp. a sociopath. The reason to leave is for your safety and well-being.

Don't tell your lawyer or anyone else IRL that you left for any other reason than out of fear and survival logistics. It makes YOU look vindictive and like an irresponsible mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You removed the kids from the area that you were living?

Yes. We were living overseas and I have more access to resources and legal services (to say nothing of employment) in the US. He knows we're here.

You left the area, with the kids, and...what...are now in another country?? Didn't you think he'd go bananas? What do you need a car for in another country? If you were trying to squirrel money away for a long time, you've been secretive and planning all the while. Taking the kids so that he can't see them is declaring war. You know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

And this is male craziness during a divorce, y'all. I worked for a family law firm- I'm telling ya, men lose their goddman minds during a divorce. That's why women have to go in guns drawn.

Yeah, right. Nothing is more cold, cruel, ruthless, and grasping than a woman in a divorce.

Most men go into it wanting to be "fair", with their minds clouded with emotion, and wind up blindsided when she goes for the jugular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son in law decided one morning that he was leaving the marriage..with no lead up or discussion about it. From that moment on...completely arrogant, horrible asshole. Our daughter was in such shock, we had to organize an atty and help her fend off his behavior. Lawyer was not surprised. Happens with men...probably there is someone else.

Translation: he refused to roll over and give her the house, all his money, and the kids like she thought she deserved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

And this is male craziness during a divorce, y'all. I worked for a family law firm- I'm telling ya, men lose their goddman minds during a divorce. That's why women have to go in guns drawn.

Yeah, right. Nothing is more cold, cruel, ruthless, and grasping than a woman in a divorce.

Most men go into it wanting to be "fair", with their minds clouded with emotion, and wind up blindsided when she goes for the jugular.

Oh my god, I think I've heard it all. I'm a divorce lawyer and you are absolutely delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

He cheated on me and was emotionally abusive and financially controlling while I stayed home with the kids. But okay...

Listen. You have posted 100 times on this site and I advise you to come to the US but don't post "you don't really know somebody until you divorce".

You clearly knew he was crazy.

You are wrapped up in the drama. You need to stop posting and get serious amounts of therapy.

Good luck!

NP. Way to make this about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You removed the kids from the area that you were living?

Yes. We were living overseas and I have more access to resources and legal services (to say nothing of employment) in the US. He knows we're here.

You left the area, with the kids, and...what...are now in another country?? Didn't you think he'd go bananas? What do you need a car for in another country? If you were trying to squirrel money away for a long time, you've been secretive and planning all the while. Taking the kids so that he can't see them is declaring war. You know that.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You turned him into an enemy by divorcing him or giving him grounds for divorce, so what the hell do you expect?

And this is male craziness during a divorce, y'all. I worked for a family law firm- I'm telling ya, men lose their goddman minds during a divorce. That's why women have to go in guns drawn.

Yeah, right. Nothing is more cold, cruel, ruthless, and grasping than a woman in a divorce.

Most men go into it wanting to be "fair", with their minds clouded with emotion, and wind up blindsided when she goes for the jugular.

Oh my god, I think I've heard it all. I'm a divorce lawyer and you are absolutely delusional.

I'm a divorce lawyer, and you're full of shit.

[Anonymous]

When I divorced my cheating xW she turned around and threatened to take all the money, the kids, the house etc. and leave penniless, and was upset I consulted a lawyer when she threatened to accuse me of molesting my children. Bitchescsn be crazy too.