DS (7) swatted my hand at therapy- how do I discipline?

[Anonymous]

My son has recently started going to therapy for anxiety issues, which can manifest as anger issues. Going in by himself has been a big challenge, but the last few times he's been able to see the counselor with minimal issues. Today I had to bring my older child to the appt and DS asked his counselor if DD could come in but the therapist said no. Upon hearing this, DS became very upset and refused to go alone. He then swatted my hand and started to cry, saying he'd had a bad day already; this part is true- my kids went to the first day of summer camp and when I picked them up, they both said they'd had bad days and didn't enjoy it.

I just feel at a loss as to how to discipline the hitting. He's 7 and clearly knows better, yet I understand why. I want to be compassionate, but also do the right thing, whatever that is. Hitting is not typical for him, as an FYI, but it's not a first time either.

Thanks for your advice.

[Anonymous]

I would've said in the moment not to hit. You can have a talk about how you understand he was tired and frustrated but hitting is not an answer. Maybe brainstorm other ways to respond. I don't think anything more is needed.

[Anonymous]

What did the therapist say?

[Anonymous]

Eh. If DS did that I would take away tv and ipad time for a few days. It's not the end of the world, though.

[Anonymous]

Wow. My kid does this every time we go to therapy basically. I'd feel lucky.

[Anonymous]

Under these circumstances I'd let it go. Poor little guy - bad day, situation that already stretches his ability and he reacted poorly. He deserves a break.

[Anonymous]

I found things were better when I decided to be a SAHM, my kid has anxiety too.
It's stressful to attend these camps and be herded around like cattle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did the therapist say?

Yes. If you really have a question about how to handle this, ask to do some consultations with the therapist by yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found things were better when I decided to be a SAHM, my kid has anxiety too.
It's stressful to attend these camps and be herded around like cattle.

In what way is this helpful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found things were better when I decided to be a SAHM, my kid has anxiety too.
It's stressful to attend these camps and be herded around like cattle.

OP here. I never said I was a working parent, did I?

To the others: the therapist didn't saying anything. She just stood there and I felt judged by her and the others waiting too. Now I realize she probably wasn't judging but I felt like it.

[Anonymous]

I would let it go in this context (perhaps just say no hitting). I think overreacting to things can create a dynamic where a one time thing becomes a routine behavior.

[Anonymous]

I would let it go, especially if you didn't address it in the moment. Keep an eye out for similar behavior, but for now, drop it.

[Anonymous]

In the moment I'd have caught his hand and said, "Hey! You can be upset, but you can't get physical with people; you know that. What can you do to fix the situation?" and I'd accept a mumbled "sorry" and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Under these circumstances I'd let it go. Poor little guy - bad day, situation that already stretches his ability and he reacted poorly. He deserves a break.

I agree with this. If it doesn't hurt, i'd basically just acknowledge how he's feeling and mention that swatting me isn't an appropriate way to express anger. But also acknowledge the general suckiness of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found things were better when I decided to be a SAHM, my kid has anxiety too.
It's stressful to attend these camps and be herded around like cattle.

OP here. I never said I was a working parent, did I?

To the others: the therapist didn't saying anything. She just stood there and I felt judged by her and the others waiting too. Now I realize she probably wasn't judging but I felt like it.

OFFS! Just ask her what you should do if it happens again.

And get an antidepressant and therapy for yourself. You felt "judged" sounds so ridiculous.