Honestly thinking about quitting my job. I don't know how to manage work and my kids schedules.
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Anonymous
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Its 9:45am and already I feel totally spent for the day. My two kids go to daycare full time and one will be starting Kindergarten this fall.
I forgot some things my kids needed at daycare today because we were rushing out of the house. I had to go back home and get it after dropping them off. Then I was on the phone trying to coordinate a plumber. I got to work and looked at the schedule for next year for K and there are so many random days off, so many early release days. My husband's job is super demanding. Mine is flexible but I still feel so stretched. And then camp next summer...I can't even think about it. I feel like every day I wake up with a to do list of at least 20 things and then by the time the day is over nothing seems done because 10 more things got added to the list. I feel like I am about to fall apart. How do working moms do it when their kids are in school with so many days off plus you are responsible for everything else? |
Anonymous
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After care usually has camps on early release days and random days off, so they're the same as usual. More organization helps, as does realizing that sometimes my kid might not be wearing a red shirt on Red Day or whatever, and he'll be fine.
Also, make DH do more. Your job might be more flexible, but that doesn't mean you do 100% of the kids. He can find time to call a plumber, even if it's you who stays home to meet him. Oh, and most importantly: One thing at a time. Don't worry now about camp next summer - that's just wasted energy. Start setting money aside, if needed, and wait until it's time to sign up in January. |
Anonymous
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Just the way you are doing it, OP.
One day at a time, lots of balls dropped, coffee, and constant feelings of craziness. Oh, and don't forget the added sense that everything is being done half-way and nothing is getting your full attention or best effort. My kids are 9 and 12 and believe it or not, this is worse than the little kids years. There is no magic bullet solution. Sorry. But lots of empathy! |
Anonymous
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You don't let your DH get away with not doing any household labor. Or, you outsource some of it. (Your DH's super demanding job must make enough money for that, right?)
Think about getting an au pair or a part-time after school sitter who can do pickups. That will free up a big chunk of your time. |
Anonymous
| You need to get better organized - you will STILL be running around flustered if you quit your job. |
Anonymous
| BTDT. Almost quit this spring. Then decided just to let a few things go. My house isn't as clean as I like it, and the landscaping could look better, but I am glad I stayed. |
Anonymous
| Outsource as many things as possible - cleaning, online grocery shopping with delivery (instacart is saving my life), mother's helper. Try to get things ready for daycare etc before you go to bed. And make DH step up. Mine works in a place where he can't take a cellphone back with him and has to walk to a different building to access the internet, and he still manages to set up the AC repair person, deal with doc appointments, and knows when it's his turn to take LO to her appointments (and she has many of them). As I explained to him, my job is flexible but it's not fair to abuse that when he is also a grown up and would have to deal with the cable guy etc if I wasn't around. |
Anonymous
| Organization is key, OP. For instance, you might be better off setting out everything needed for the day the night before. |
Anonymous
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Outsource as much as you possibly can. With 2 incomes, pay as much as you need to make your lives easier.
Find a good backup care service now for next year. Perhaps find a couple HS or college girls on the same school schedule for coverage. Let go of anything not necessary (you will find so many school related events/activities are totally unnecessary) even hire a personal/household assistant. I'm looking for one now. - FT working mom of 4 |
Anonymous
| We found a mom at my son's school (she's actually a teacher there, too) who is watching my son for all the random days off and periodically throughout the summer. I think it's working well. Our kids both have playmates, she's making extra money and my son is thrilled to go on lots of fun adventures with them. Maybe ask around for something similar? |
Anonymous
| Tons of lists. One little notebook for lists of everything so I don't lose separate papers. Dh who does 50% of household stuff even with a less flexible job and second job. And the big one: grandparents. We could do it on our own but it would be way more stressful. The two sets are local and are great pinch hitters for childcare and love the kid and us. We try not to take them for granted and show our appreciation always. But it means less time with our own friends and their kids since if grandma wants to plan a pool outing or Sunday dinner with all of us we will always say yes unless we have previous plans. |
Anonymous
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We have a nanny, OP. Aside from being wonderful with the kids, she also manages the house.
I do not know how anyone with a demanding job could juggle daycare, sick days, shopping, etc without help. |
Anonymous
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Can you afford to quit your job? Take a long look at what that might look like for your finances and your family. If you can't, then you need to get more organized, outsource what you can, and relax some standards.
1) Get organized! Master calendar with important dates on it - days off, field trips, appointments, birthday parties. Once your K-er starts school in the fall, you will have a better idea about what you need for days off coverage. But you should definitely start thinking about the long Christmas and spring breaks now. (Camps are always options.) Make checklists for everything and pack up what you can the night before. I always lay out my clothes, pack my gym bag, and make sure kid backpacks are ready the night before, including library books and permission slips. (They can help with this, too.) Kids clothes are organized so they can pick from bins or drawers and dress themselves, or if they need help, I can find socks, shirts, etc quickly. Keys, shoes, coats and backpacks are by the door in a designated place. I drop off and pick up dry cleaning one day a week. Meal planning. We use a dry-erase board to keep track of items we need from the supermarket, so that making a list is quick and I'm not scrambling for lunchbox items. 2) Outsource - House cleaner if possible. Grocery delivery if that helps. Amazon prime for birthday presents, housewares and kid clothes. Buy a bunch of birthday presents ahead of time. 3) Relax standards where you can live with it. Whether that's not having a company-ready house, allowing frozen waffles for breakfast, or skipping the blow dryer and letting your hair air-dry, find the shortcuts that give you the most bang for the buck. |
Anonymous
You are looking too far down the road. One-day-at-a-time is our motto. |
Anonymous
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Maybe this will help you, OP. I was feeling the same way and decided to quit. After 6 months, I had lost 20 pounds, my house was clean and organized, and I was planning elaborate birthday parties...but I was miserable. The kids and I were having too much together time and we were getting annoyed with each other. My self esteem took a huge hit and I felt like I lost a large part of my identity. I ended up going back to work. And now I'm exhausted and overwhelmed again!
There is no perfect solution!!! Unless you find a position where you can work however many hours you want each week on a schedule that changes weekly and you have complete control over. When I find that job, then I'll be happy. |