Honestly thinking about quitting my job. I don't know how to manage work and my kids schedules.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Prior generations knew better

You Cant do it all

The updated key is that the higher earning spouse should work and the other should stay home regardless If its the Male Or female

Dc none wins its a two income trap

[/quote]

But were prior generations happy?[/quote]

Some were, some weren't. Just like today whether you work or not.[/quote]

I don't know anyone that is happy in the two-income trap mode we have currently. Even if you outsource everything there is still too much to do and almost everyone still feels some guilt regarding cutting corners somewhere. Its the two incomes now needed to have any kind of decent housing in a decent school district with a decent commute that's the problem. DC is now a top 5 metro areas for COL and I highly doubt most people would rank it as one of the top 5 metro areas.

[Anonymous]

I often think about going part-time, but there is something I learned on DCUM - going part-time only works against you: you will just be doing the same job in less hours for less pay! So, if you're going to work, you might as well do full-time.

I personally found this to be true because I worked part-time for 8 weeks at the end of my maternity leave - I did everything in those 3 days. Nevertheless, I still came back full-time.

If you don't care about any of that, it's either go part-time or quit.

It is REALLY hard to find a balance, and some days I wish I just had more time at home with my DC. But, I also have to consider my own happiness. I want to work. And right now, I have a pretty sweet flexible job.

And I also think, even if I were a SAHM, I would STILL not have my child all the time because I would definitely want to volunteer on a structured basis. I can't imagine ONLY taking care of a kid.

[Anonymous]

jsmith2017 wrote:We have spaghetti night, movie night and game night every week, and we all love it.

Can you tell more? Sounds like a great idea!

LOL, not too much to tell. Monday is spaghetti night, Wednesday is game night, and Friday is pizza and movie night. Game night is our favorite. We've moved from Sneaky Snacky Squirrel and other little kid games to Sorry and Clue and now Settlers and Ticket to Ride, etc. We try very, very hard not to schedule anything else on those nights and to always be in the right mindset - enthusiastic and paying attention. It's not always easy when the adults have a million other things on our minds, but after a few minutes, I am always genuinely enjoying myself. It's so easy to get caught up in the work, cook, clean, drive cycle that it's priceless to stop and just enjoy spending time as a family.

[Anonymous]

Wait, I'm confused. Where are all the SAHMs telling OP that she has it way easy in comparison to them?

[Anonymous]

OP, right there with you. Mine are 8 and 10 and I feel like it just gets harder and harder. I do my best to let things go and not take on too many activities, but I am constantly feeling stressed and guilty and tired and like I'm half assing everything. I would give anything to work 20 hours a week instead of the normal 40-50, but that isn't an option in my job area. I don't know what to tell you. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I often think about going part-time, but there is something I learned on DCUM - going part-time only works against you: you will just be doing the same job in less hours for less pay! So, if you're going to work, you might as well do full-time.

I personally found this to be true because I worked part-time for 8 weeks at the end of my maternity leave - I did everything in those 3 days. Nevertheless, I still came back full-time.

If you don't care about any of that, it's either go part-time or quit.

It is REALLY hard to find a balance, and some days I wish I just had more time at home with my DC. But, I also have to consider my own happiness. I want to work. And right now, I have a pretty sweet flexible job.

And I also think, even if I were a SAHM, I would STILL not have my child all the time because I would definitely want to volunteer on a structured basis. I can't imagine ONLY taking care of a kid.

This isn't always the case - I'm 80 percent and having that one day off helps a lot. I also telecommute on another day. My kids are in school and I find I have a reasonably good balance. In OP's case, it seems like having a nanny or au pair for a few years would solve a lot of her problems and reduce stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After care usually has camps on early release days and random days off, so they're the same as usual. More organization helps, as does realizing that sometimes my kid might not be wearing a red shirt on Red Day or whatever, and he'll be fine.

Also, make DH do more. Your job might be more flexible, but that doesn't mean you do 100% of the kids. He can find time to call a plumber, even if it's you who stays home to meet him.

Oh, and most importantly: One thing at a time. Don't worry now about camp next summer - that's just wasted energy. Start setting money aside, if needed, and wait until it's time to sign up in January.

Don't count on aftercare. the aftercare at our DCPS which is a private company NEVER covers early release or days off. They don't even have aftercare the first week of school. This is typical in a lot of DCPS school. OP you are right to be concerned. I can't believe the number of teacher work days or "record days"--pretty much at least one every three weeks on top or holidays. We try to trade off with other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, I'm confused. Where are all the SAHMs telling OP that she has it way easy in comparison to them?

lol. crickets.

[Anonymous]

As someone who is TTC, I just wonder what the point of all of this is? So people can live in a big house? Drive a fancy car? Most moms I know are tired, stressed and miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is TTC, I just wonder what the point of all of this is? So people can live in a big house? Drive a fancy car? Most moms I know are tired, stressed and miserable.

The point of what? Working when you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is TTC, I just wonder what the point of all of this is? So people can live in a big house? Drive a fancy car? Most moms I know are tired, stressed and miserable.

Not sure what you mean. I work so we can continue to afford to eat, pay our mortgage on our small 2br house in ward 7, keep our 10 year old Honda on the road, and put some money away for retirement and college.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]
I don't know anyone that is happy in the two-income trap mode we have currently. Even if you outsource everything there is still too much to do and almost everyone still feels some guilt regarding cutting corners somewhere. Its the two incomes now needed to have any kind of decent housing in a decent school district with a decent commute that's the problem. DC is now a top 5 metro areas for COL and I highly doubt most people would rank it as one of the top 5 metro areas. [/quote]
You need to meet more people then. I would be miserable as a SAHM, and I wouldn't even be a very good one.

Then again, we are in a rare position where we have a home that we love and can afford on either one of our incomes...so we know that one of us could quit if we wanted to do so.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a two-income but one kid household and we're tired but happy. We're thinking about number two. I'm not sure what people are expecting. Life is hard, and for most people it's harder than those of us on DCUM. August and December are our "easy" months when we go on vacation and we try to break spring and fall up with a few long weekends. Otherwise, it's hard work pretty much all the time. We have it much easier than our grandparents, but probably not any easier than our parents. We are grateful for the good health, close-nit family, etc. and we never expected that bringing up a child or children would be easy...

[Anonymous]

Ok, but most importantly, don't be a jerk and forget to RSVP to a kid's birthday party, because seriously, how much time does if take?