Super mom addiction- Me: How do I get off this roller coaster!
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Anonymous
| I'm tired. I have cut down on scheduling too many things for the kids and myself but it's like I can't stop... I've never been formally diagnosed but I know I'm ADD. I'm on medication to help reduce stress, anxiety, and some ADD (Wellbutrin) but I get so excited about bargains/ buying things for kids.& scheduling these amazing camps I wish I had growing up. Anyone else like this? How did you stop? |
Anonymous
| ADD mom here too. I have a similar problem. I have to ask myself if the deals/bargains are really NEEDS or WANTS. It helps me to run things by my DH as well. We are not wealthy, so there is a limit on what we can afford. Debt is not fun - so I try hard to remember that. Plus, I'm trying to be careful that my kids don't become too materialistic and entitled - so that is helping me to think twice. I also read blogs about minimalism: Be More With Less, Break the Twitch, Minimalist Parenting. I am no where close to being a minimalist, but those blogs helps me to tone things down a bit. Also, talk to your psych, they might be able to tweak your meds/offer advice. Hugs to you! |
Anonymous
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When I'm tempted, I've just had to repeat as a mantra to myself things like,
"If we lived in ___, I wouldn't have even known about the camp." "They may not get ___ before they're too old for it, but they got ___, ___, and ___, and they need time to play with it." "We could use that money for ___, which they will like better in the long run (or, which will make our lives happier)." "We all need some downtime!" |
Anonymous
| OP, there is nothing in your post that makes you a "super mom". Can you please clarify why you think you are doing super mom things? |
Anonymous
I think she means she buys too much for her kids and signs them up for too many activities, because everything seems like an opportunity too good to pass up -- that she will be "super mom" (either to them or herself), because they are so engaged and happy and excited and busy with fun things all the time. |
Anonymous
I was wondering the same thing. I thought you had some sensational multi-tasking skill or could answer your kid's questions before he/she even asked ("mommy, where is my..." "...Right here, Larlo, your Lightning McQueen endedup in the refrigerator"). |
Anonymous
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You're not a super mom, you just like to spoil your kids. Kids who are spoiled with too much stuff and too many fancy camps rarely turn out well.
Focus on volunteering and things like that to give them a broader perspective. |
Anonymous
No. Probably why I'm not on medication and my kids turned out normal. Plus I'm not a bragger. |
Anonymous
| Your spouse should have an opinion. I'm sure he has an opinion about how this is affecting the family, if your behavior is out of the ordinary. Listen to him Op. My guess is you don't think family is important, you think activities are important. You will NOT be a Super Mom without an intact family, if your marriage suffers you divorce and the kids have no Dad. |
Anonymous
I don't get this response. OP is on meds bc she has ADD. Are you saying that people who need to take meds won't have kids who turn out ok? |
Anonymous
DP. I think she means that because she doesn't like to brag, she doesn't need to have a lot of stuff/schedule a lot of events. How the OP can be on the ADD meds if she has never been diagnosed with ADD? |
Anonymous
| You're on medication, but are you in therapy? Cause that's what you need. |
Anonymous
| Guys. Don't criticize her when she's like so many families on the crazy train in this area. Kids with completely full schedules because we love our kids and feel that if we don't have them participating in this and that like Larla next door, we're not doing the best for them. Adding in ADD to this hyper craziness and it's completely understandable where OP is at. I especially feel it when it comes to vacations. We have debt and try to be financially responsible, not running up more to go here and there as often as other families do. But that's the trade-off we made when we decided for me to stay home, and I recognize all the pluses that go hand in hand with that minus. But it doesn't stop the wistfulness. I think I'm more wistful about it than the kids are. They'd rather be watching YouTube or playing Roblox or SIMS 4 than being in a cathedral in Sevilla anyway. We want it for them now, they think...I can do that later. |
Anonymous
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Same here, but our very limited means are a great cure for all those ills! I can't spend the money I don't have! |
Anonymous
Hah. Seems like most of America manages to spend money they don't have! |