If your spouse has helped you develop and thrive in your career, what his he/she done?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
In what ways can a spouse really help to support his/her spouse to develop and thrive in their career?
I've done these things over the years for my DH, and wonder if it's typical: (1) Review and edit draft articles before submission (2) Reviewing speeches before delivery (3) Helping to make sure he looks good in the right suit for the right work events (4) Making dental appointments (I also work full-time, and do ask him to offer edits on the occasional document.) What is typical in other households? Thx! |
Anonymous
| Most I did was, making sure we have enough take home to cover all the bills, plus health insurance. |
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
#3 sends off alarm bells...Petty Alert ? |
Anonymous
|
I was with you until you said you make dental appointments to help your husband thrive in his career.
I'm someone to bounce ideas off of and point out flaws in projects. I'm not his mom who makes sure his shirt is tucked in. |
Anonymous
|
Sounds pretty typical, although I don't consider #4, making dental appointments, a career thing.
DH and I work in different industries so I seldom review any of his work materials, but I do listen to him practice his presentations sometimes and give feedback. I also buy him clothes (casual or work) when I'm out shopping. But the bigger things I do to support DH's career are mainly managing our home when he has work responsibilities. We share responsibilities normally, but if he has a work trip, he doesn't have to worry about who's taking care of our child or something going wrong with the house... |
Anonymous
Same here. My job does not require travel (fortunately), and therefore I make sure I take care of all things on the home front to free him up while my DH has to travel for his job. I also do help DH with choosing clothes since he does not have a good eye for what to buy and wear. I tend to believe in "dress for success" and I think it's helped my DH that he's well-dressed for work. |
Anonymous
It's not the little things that's been valuable in my case, but the larger directional guidance. My wife has helped me with the following: 1. Corrected character flaws that I had, such as getting me to focus on the strength of others, not their weaknesses. 2. Helped me understand the importance of talking less and listening more in a professional setting. 3. Taught me to not take things personally in business dealings - this has enabled me to work with a wide range of people. 4. Guided me on understanding the mindset of people that I had disagreements with. She is a master strategist. I would be so lost without her. The best thing that happened to me in my adult life is meeting her. I am thankful every day that I am so blessed and fortunate to have her at by side. |
Anonymous
| My husband took a government job instead of BigLaw so we could split home/kid duties and I could continue moving up in my career without the stress of the "second shift." |
Anonymous
|
Unless your husband is a dentist I don't understand #4 from a career perspective.
I've offered advice regarding his career path I took on the motherload of everything involving the house and children when he was working full time and getting his EMBA. I paid for his EMBA I've edited resumes and helped him practice before grueling 6 hour interview "loops" I support his travel, and keep a calm, clean and healthy household which benefits all of us |
Anonymous
|
I'm proof-read a proposal occasionally for DH to give it a 2nd set of eyes.
Most of the "support" though that sprang to mind when you asked this is that although i'm the "director" of the kids' schedules & most of the stuff they need/do, he's regularly shouldering his load & sometimes more to step in for early pick-ups of a sick kid, cancelled babysitters, etc. (I am the one who tries to line people up & screens them for instance; but if the sitter is sick he takes the hit to stay home at least as often as I do.) |
Anonymous
Why does it matter if it's typical ... it's whatever works for your family. Are you trying to get validation that you've done more than your husband? |
Anonymous
|
1. Do most of the cooking and cleaning.
2. Handle most unexpected sick kid days and doctor's appointments. 3. Do all the laundry. 4. Calm me down when I am anxious abiut something career-related. 5. Help with career-related strategizing. 6. Do most of the evening and weekend childcare (he works full-time too). |
Anonymous
|
DH and I have:
-moved across country (twice) so the other could pursue a job that would advance their career -acted as a sounding board when the other needed to talk out issues they were having -provided guidance when the other wanted input on what they should do -encouraged each other to go for new opportunities -provided coverage at home so the other could attend events and meetings that will help their development |
Anonymous
Sounds like you two have a great marriage. 
Many years ago, a few months before my dad died of cancer at age 62, he remarked to me (when he was in a reflective mood) that the best decision he ever made was to marry mom mom and that he wouldn't be half the person he was without her. My dad was pretty successful in business, and he said he was sure he wouldn't have had that success had he not had my mom (who was also a full-time professional) offering advice and serving as a sounding board. My mom was also super organized about everything. (I don't know why this stuck in my head, but I also recall reading an old interview with Donald Trump at which he praised his first wife Ivana for her role in his business success. He said having a spouse like Ivana who was super organized was important to his success.) |