Why is he still texting?

Anonymous
So, met a guy about a month ago, we went on a couple of dates, but then he he told me that he is very into extreme kink. I told him that wasn't my thing/was never going to happen etc...he still texts/emails every day, all day. Yes, I respond because I think it is the polite thing to do, and I like him as a person.I don't really get it?

Does he get that I'm after a friend thing or did I not make myself clear?

He has asked me out twice since I found out, but have demured. I'm not judging, by the way just not my thing.
Anonymous
Stop responding
Anonymous
I would have asked for examples, OP!
Anonymous
You really have to ask? Stop engaging. Duh!
Anonymous
"Larlo, I am not going to respond to your texts anymore. We're not compatible and I'm not looking for another friend. I wish you luck in finding someone great who shares your interests!"
Anonymous
what is extreme kink??
Anonymous
The guy is a creep.

The more you keep answering his texts/calls, the more he will continue contacting him.

Just let him know that while you do think he is a nice person, you do not think that you two should be friends any longer.

It is obvious he still wants to hook up w/you and you know that is never going to happen.

In other words, his intentions are not good.
Anonymous
*contacting YOU
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The guy is a creep.

The more you keep answering his texts/calls, the more he will continue contacting him.

Just let him know that while you do think he is a nice person, you do not think that you two should be friends any longer.

It is obvious he still wants to hook up w/you and you know that is never going to happen.

In other words, his intentions are not good.


How is he a creep? She keeps the conversation going. She knows what he wants and continues this game. If she wants it to stop, she should stop. It's really that simple.
Anonymous
he thinks you like it secretly and thats why you respond
Anonymous
Yawn.
Anonymous
Seems like you're secretly interested but probably a puirtan dcum upbringing is telling you to stay away.

My advice - give him a whirl and see what you think for yourself.
Anonymous
I think you like the attention.
Anonymous
You stated your boundaries, and he's testing them. Sounds like you need to block his number at this point. He's shown he won't stop testing your boundaries.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:he thinks you like it secretly and thats why you respond


This. OP, he thinks you're playing hard-to-get and are enjoying being pursued.

You are being blind to a potentially dangerous situation, OP. You MUST stop the "we could be friends" stuff entirely and immediately. He reads that as your approval for him to pursue you. Do not respond to him at all, ever.

Immediately block him on text and email. Never take a call. Does he know how to reach you on any other social media? Block him on everything, now, because when you block texts and emails, he may start harassing you any other way he can. And I'm not quite sure why you don't seem to recognize that texting and emailing you "all day, every day" is harassing behavior. It is. Maybe because it appears "positive" (as in, he is asking you out) you don't see that it's harassing because you have said no but he persists to a really intense degree. This is pretty stalkerish behavior.

I don't know or care what "extreme kink" he told you about but you need to understand that he probably also has other kink he didn't mention--like possibly finding it a turn-on to chase a woman like this. He is harassing you and you're concerned with being "nice" about it all and with telliing him he's a good person. Like most of us women you've been taught to be polite and nice but it is backfiring on you now. I would be concerned if he knows where you live, frankly. If rape fantasies are part of his kinks, and he sees you as leading him on with talk of being friends, he may be convincing himself that you want a visit from him in person.

Someone will come along here and say that's all an overreaction but you seem not to see that he's not acting normally by barraging you with messages. You need to wake up and stop being nice and stop talking about being friends. Cut off all contact in every form and keep printouts of every text or email because you may need them as evidence later if he keeps harassing you.
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