Anonymous wrote:he thinks you like it secretly and thats why you respond
This. OP, he thinks you're playing hard-to-get and are enjoying being pursued.
You are being blind to a potentially dangerous situation, OP. You MUST stop the "we could be friends" stuff entirely and immediately. He reads that as your approval for him to pursue you. Do not respond to him at all, ever.
Immediately block him on text and email. Never take a call. Does he know how to reach you on any other social media? Block him on everything, now, because when you block texts and emails, he may start harassing you any other way he can. And I'm not quite sure why you don't seem to recognize that texting and emailing you "all day, every day" is harassing behavior. It is. Maybe because it appears "positive" (as in, he is asking you out) you don't see that it's harassing because you have said no but he persists to a really intense degree. This is pretty stalkerish behavior.
I don't know or care what "extreme kink" he told you about but you need to understand that he probably also has other kink he didn't mention--like possibly finding it a turn-on to chase a woman like this. He is harassing you and you're concerned with being "nice" about it all and with telliing him he's a good person. Like most of us women you've been taught to be polite and nice but it is backfiring on you now. I would be concerned if he knows where you live, frankly. If rape fantasies are part of his kinks, and he sees you as leading him on with talk of being friends, he may be convincing himself that you want a visit from him in person.
Someone will come along here and say that's all an overreaction but you seem not to see that he's not acting normally by barraging you with messages. You need to wake up and stop being nice and stop talking about being friends. Cut off all contact in every form and keep printouts of every text or email because you may need them as evidence later if he keeps harassing you.
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