parental alientation... not allowing kids to spend time with dad??

[Anonymous]

Planning to get legal advise tomorrow; nevertheless, I'm wondering if anyone out there has experience with this.

My situation: divorced dad living out of state with a divorce decree that provides for an extended stay with me during the summer. The decree says I can pick the date and if I don't pick the dates by a certain deadline then the visit occurs between default dated. Each year she threatens not to allow the kids to visit. She has never "allowed" the kids to stay for the entire allotted time. In the past she has waited until after airline tickets were bought then started demanding I change the depart of return date. This has cost significant $$ a couple times but I've been going-along-to-get-along.

This morning; however, I flew across the country and rented a car and showed up at the previously agreed time to pick up my kids and she refused to allow them to come out of their rooms. At first she wouldn't even answer the door. Eventually she came out said she didn't like the agreed upon return date. I told her it was still 2 weeks shorter than allowed for in the divorce decree she said she didn't care. I called the police but they said they don't enforce terms of the divorce and that my only option is to sue her is civil court.

I left without my kids in order to catch my return flight. The kids tickets were forfeit.

Question: How have other people dealt with this sort of situation?

[Anonymous]

Why are you living so far away from your kids?

[Anonymous]

Take her to court for failing to uphold the terms of the divorce agreement. Make her pay physically and literally for being such a selfish, unreasonable b-*tch. Your poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take her to court for failing to uphold the terms of the divorce agreement. Make her pay physically and literally for being such a selfish, unreasonable b-*tch. Your poor kids.

So how does she "pay physically?" Is she to give a pint of blood? And let's hold off on calling her a "selfish, unreasonable b*tch" until both sides are heard. I'd also like to know why dad is living so far away that he has to take a plane. And how old are the kids? Why did the marriage end?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you living so far away from your kids?

Irrelevant. If OP's ex-wife is in violation of a court order, OP's ZIP code is of no consequence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take her to court for failing to uphold the terms of the divorce agreement. Make her pay physically and literally for being such a selfish, unreasonable b-*tch. Your poor kids.

So how does she "pay physically?" Is she to give a pint of blood? And let's hold off on calling her a "selfish, unreasonable b*tch" until both sides are heard. I'd also like to know why dad is living so far away that he has to take a plane. And how old are the kids? Why did the marriage end?

You pay physically with actual money, moron. And don't even get started on the reasons why the marriage ended because it makes no difference in the wife's requirement to uphold the terms of a legal agreement. Nice try with the classic DCUM hypocrisy though.

[Anonymous]

What are her reasons for doing this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take her to court for failing to uphold the terms of the divorce agreement. Make her pay physically and literally for being such a selfish, unreasonable b-*tch. Your poor kids.

So how does she "pay physically?" Is she to give a pint of blood? And let's hold off on calling her a "selfish, unreasonable b*tch" until both sides are heard. I'd also like to know why dad is living so far away that he has to take a plane. And how old are the kids? Why did the marriage end?

Derailment tactics. Insistence on hearing both sides of the story has never been a requirement of any DCUM thread. Men (and blacks, for that matter) are routinely branded as criminals or psychologically diagnosed without the benefit of their side being heard. Furthermore, OP's residence, the age of the children, or the reason for the end of the marriage are of no consequence in the face of a violation of a court order. These questions are posed for one reason and one reason only: To device some fiction as to why OP is not deserving of his rights pursuant to a court order.

OP, do not be fooled by these, or any other, derailment tactics if you want a genuine response to your question.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to hire a lawyer in the jurisdiction where the doctors took place. If the kids moved away, then the case may follow them (if you moved, then the case will stay in the previous jurisdiction).

You should be able to seek damages for your attorney fees, missed flights, and change fees. I hope to God you have documentation of this.

In the future - once the kids are at your house, keep them for the allotted time.

Also, this can be a reason for the courts to change custody. It's unusual, but it's happened before. When you go to court - go all the way.

(And I'm a single mom, with an a$$hole ex, but I would never deny his parenting time.)

[Anonymous]

OP, I assume you have everything in writing with regards to the dates. By that I mean there are emails that say something like:
"Per our conversation on May 30 and as outlined in our divorce decree, I will have the children for their 4-week stay with me. I will pick up the children at your home no later than 12noon on June 16th and return them no later than noon on July 14th. If you are in disagreement, email back by June 4 as I have to purchase plane tickets."

[Anonymous]

PP here. The DIVORCE not the doctors. I'm on my phone. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take her to court for failing to uphold the terms of the divorce agreement. Make her pay physically and literally for being such a selfish, unreasonable b-*tch. Your poor kids.

So how does she "pay physically?" Is she to give a pint of blood? And let's hold off on calling her a "selfish, unreasonable b*tch" until both sides are heard. I'd also like to know why dad is living so far away that he has to take a plane. And how old are the kids? Why did the marriage end?

Derailment tactics. Insistence on hearing both sides of the story has never been a requirement of any DCUM thread. Men (and blacks, for that matter) are routinely branded as criminals or psychologically diagnosed without the benefit of their side being heard. Furthermore, OP's residence, the age of the children, or the reason for the end of the marriage are of no consequence in the face of a violation of a court order. These questions are posed for one reason and one reason only: To device some fiction as to why OP is not deserving of his rights pursuant to a court order.

OP, do not be fooled by these, or any other, derailment tactics if you want a genuine response to your question.

I guess we figured out who's posting that OP's ex-wife is an "unreasonable b*tch."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take her to court for failing to uphold the terms of the divorce agreement. Make her pay physically and literally for being such a selfish, unreasonable b-*tch. Your poor kids.

So how does she "pay physically?" Is she to give a pint of blood? And let's hold off on calling her a "selfish, unreasonable b*tch" until both sides are heard. I'd also like to know why dad is living so far away that he has to take a plane. And how old are the kids? Why did the marriage end?

Derailment tactics. Insistence on hearing both sides of the story has never been a requirement of any DCUM thread. Men (and blacks, for that matter) are routinely branded as criminals or psychologically diagnosed without the benefit of their side being heard. Furthermore, OP's residence, the age of the children, or the reason for the end of the marriage are of no consequence in the face of a violation of a court order. These questions are posed for one reason and one reason only: To device some fiction as to why OP is not deserving of his rights pursuant to a court order.

OP, do not be fooled by these, or any other, derailment tactics if you want a genuine response to your question.

I guess we figured out who's posting that OP's ex-wife is an "unreasonable b*tch."

Other people who call out derailment tactics and sexism when they see it? What's your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take her to court for failing to uphold the terms of the divorce agreement. Make her pay physically and literally for being such a selfish, unreasonable b-*tch. Your poor kids.

So how does she "pay physically?" Is she to give a pint of blood? And let's hold off on calling her a "selfish, unreasonable b*tch" until both sides are heard. I'd also like to know why dad is living so far away that he has to take a plane. And how old are the kids? Why did the marriage end?

Derailment tactics. Insistence on hearing both sides of the story has never been a requirement of any DCUM thread. Men (and blacks, for that matter) are routinely branded as criminals or psychologically diagnosed without the benefit of their side being heard. Furthermore, OP's residence, the age of the children, or the reason for the end of the marriage are of no consequence in the face of a violation of a court order. These questions are posed for one reason and one reason only: To device some fiction as to why OP is not deserving of his rights pursuant to a court order.

OP, do not be fooled by these, or any other, derailment tactics if you want a genuine response to your question.

I guess we figured out who's posting that OP's ex-wife is an "unreasonable b*tch."

Other people who call out derailment tactics and sexism when they see it? What's your point?

Damn dude. What are you so angry about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take her to court for failing to uphold the terms of the divorce agreement. Make her pay physically and literally for being such a selfish, unreasonable b-*tch. Your poor kids.

So how does she "pay physically?" Is she to give a pint of blood? And let's hold off on calling her a "selfish, unreasonable b*tch" until both sides are heard. I'd also like to know why dad is living so far away that he has to take a plane. And how old are the kids? Why did the marriage end?

Derailment tactics. Insistence on hearing both sides of the story has never been a requirement of any DCUM thread. Men (and blacks, for that matter) are routinely branded as criminals or psychologically diagnosed without the benefit of their side being heard. Furthermore, OP's residence, the age of the children, or the reason for the end of the marriage are of no consequence in the face of a violation of a court order. These questions are posed for one reason and one reason only: To device some fiction as to why OP is not deserving of his rights pursuant to a court order.

OP, do not be fooled by these, or any other, derailment tactics if you want a genuine response to your question.

I guess we figured out who's posting that OP's ex-wife is an "unreasonable b*tch."

Ad hominem; derailment tactic. I have no opinion of OP's ex-wife. OP asked a question, and as I have not seen it addressed in this forum, thoughtful responses would be of interest. I am neither married nor a parent, but given OP's account, I'm curious to see whether this is common.