parental alientation... not allowing kids to spend time with dad??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take her to court for failing to uphold the terms of the divorce agreement. Make her pay physically and literally for being such a selfish, unreasonable b-*tch. Your poor kids.

So how does she "pay physically?" Is she to give a pint of blood? And let's hold off on calling her a "selfish, unreasonable b*tch" until both sides are heard. I'd also like to know why dad is living so far away that he has to take a plane. And how old are the kids? Why did the marriage end?

Those are factors that the courts take into account when they make the custody agreement. That agreement has been made, and states that she's to allow the kids to visit him.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids OP? It does sort of matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

I have no sympathy for you or your husband. YOU are part of the problem!

[Anonymous]

Hopefully your divorce lawyer was smart enough to include a provision for attorney fees necessary to enforce the custody/visitation agreement and any fees associated with collecting upon the judgment. If so, simply keep filing when she violates the order and keep collecting the attorney fees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

I have no sympathy for you or your husband. YOU are part of the problem!

How am I part of the problem? I had nothing to do with any of it except to help pay for attorney fees and plane tickets.

[Anonymous]

Please people. Spell correctly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

Thanks for posting this. So sorry for your brother's struggles. I hope he perseveres.

Today's daily reminder as to why I am Catholic. Just another anecdote about the wrecked families of our declining civilization. And every generation it is going to get worse until we affirmatively work to change our ways. How are those kids going to be able model stable relationships for their kids given all they went through as well??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

Thanks for posting this. So sorry for your brother's struggles. I hope he perseveres.

Today's daily reminder as to why I am Catholic. Just another anecdote about the wrecked families of our declining civilization. And every generation it is going to get worse until we affirmatively work to change our ways. How are those kids going to be able model stable relationships for their kids given all they went through as well??

What does being Catholic have to do with anything? Most people I know use religion to justify the terrible things they do to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

Thanks for posting this. So sorry for your brother's struggles. I hope he perseveres.

Today's daily reminder as to why I am Catholic. Just another anecdote about the wrecked families of our declining civilization. And every generation it is going to get worse until we affirmatively work to change our ways. How are those kids going to be able model stable relationships for their kids given all they went through as well??

What does being Catholic have to do with anything? Most people I know use religion to justify the terrible things they do to others.

Only major Christian denomination to not accept divorce. (To be more precise, legal separation and divorce are permitted if necessary but remarriage is not. And yes there are annulments and some people ignore the teachings but most practicing Catholics take it seriously and the culture is clear).

Can't speak to the people you know. That hasn't been my experience. Maybe you should try to make an effort to meet people with more integrity.

[Anonymous]

Go to court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

Ya know what I have done since my divorce? Taken care of the two kids I *already* have. Not really dated. Not gotten remarried. Not moved some unrelated adult into my children's home. Not brought more kids into the picture.

Your brother made his own bed. Should have had a vasectomy after the first divorce. And I'd say the same of a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP your situation totally sucks, I hope you can persevere for the kid's sake. It will mean a lot to them that you did not give up. I think people are mentioning how far you live from them just because if you could possibly get closer it would be a little easier to fight her on this stuff. Hang in there, I know what it's like because my son's ex wife is and was an unreasonable bitch, he stayed in a torturous relationship until his youngest was 18 just to stay close to her. She's almost 21 now and they have a great relationship, but he paid a heavy price for that.

Absolutely this! Do not ever give up and document every effort you make to see those kids. It will mean a lot, but I hope you get your time with them. Get yourself a good lawyer to guide you.

Yes tho!

~ signed a kid whose parents fought and still fight 40 years later.
Do NOT give up. Ever! And write everything down and print every email. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

All I can say is that I am truly sorry for you and for your kids. My second husband lives 1,100 miles away from us, and every June, my husband and I drive my three youngest kids out to his house, we stay a few days to visit (I had a stressful year, so last week (we just returned home), my ex-husband and I went out on his motorcycle as fast as it would go. I needed that! We àm have a lot of fun together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you can take it to court but the judge will probably just tell her to send the kids and no consequences when she does not or at least that was our experience. Judge ordered her to pay a higher cost of the plane tickets but she never paid anything. All they care is if you are paying child support. Take it to court once and then give up, sad to say, but she isn't going to budge and there are only a few rare judges who will hold up father's rights and the reality of you getting a good and reasonable judge is slim. Mom will come up with all kinds of accusations against you and despite not being able to prove them, nothing will change.

My husband gave up when his youngest was 14. He cut them off when that child was 18 financially and moved on. We hear from them or his ex on a rare occasion. Sadly, my husband would prefer not to hear from them after how they treated him.

How they treated him? The kids were just victims of their mother. Can you blame them for giving up? After all it's what they learned from dear old dad. Men go after what they want relentlessly. Your husband simply wasn't that interested in being a father to them.

I don't know how you can stand to be involved with someone who just gave up on his kids.

I watched my brother go through this and it was torturous. He remarried and had two kids but his emotional resources, his financial resources, his energy was tied up in trying to fight the fight to keep contact with his 2 kids form his first marriage. His second marriage and kids got a worn out, beat down dad. When his first two were 12 and 14, mom dropped them off at his house and walked away. He finally had his kids but he was a broken man. The sleepless nights, the emotional trauma of the alienation and accusations, the legal fight, the money wasted and financial devastation, the years of turmoil and pain took a terrible toll. Then he had two angry teens who had been taught to hate him who now also had a stepmother and 2 siblings. Their home life became a nightmare, step mother kept threatening to take their kids and leave, my brother wondered why he had fought so hard for so long to end up with a life of chaos, a crumbling marriage and 4 kids who were mad at dad.

Men have feelings too. They have limits to what they can handle, they need to be able to protect themselves in some ways to be able to function and live their lives.

They do. But often they spend a lot of time acting like they don't and living their lives like they don't and it often comes back to bite them in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I can say is that I am truly sorry for you and for your kids. My second husband lives 1,100 miles away from us, and every June, my husband and I drive my three youngest kids out to his house, we stay a few days to visit (I had a stressful year, so last week (we just returned home), my ex-husband and I went out on his motorcycle as fast as it would go. I needed that! We àm have a lot of fun together.

That is nice.