Feeling overwhelmed 16 m/o and 3.5 year old

[Anonymous]

I'm really overwhelmed and exhausted. My older DS was always an "easy" baby but DD has food allergies and gastro issues so she hasn't slept through the night yet. DH and I also have professional commitments and while I've scaled back my work I can't afford to leave my job entirely. I felt like I was handling this all pretty well but this last month I've reached a level of exhaustion I've never known. While we keep our house clean and relatively organized on the inside, I feel like the cracks are literally starting to form. our yard looks terrible, we need to do some home repairs and can't find a contractor, I'm 40 pounds overweight. I don't know where to begin, but I'd like to get a little more control of things, is like to sleep.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP.

There is nothing really any of us can say except:

1) We know
2) These years with kids this age are The Worst
3) It gets easier, I promise - like when your youngest turns 4
4) Lesser people than you do this all the time, and everyone eventually survives

[Anonymous]

Start with taking some time in the early moor Inge to exercise. You will feel like you accomplished a little something before the rush of the day. I have started doing this even though my 12 month old still doesn't sleep through the night and I feel a lot better. I also have 40lbs+ to lose and now it is slowly starting to come off. Once you have control of yourself, then make time for house stuff. Make yourself the #1 priority.

[Anonymous]

Early morning! Sorry for the spelling error.

[Anonymous]

Hugs. It gets easier. You are in the worst of it. Hang in there and f* the yard!

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP! Can you afford to hire more help? Weekend childcare? A babysitter or relative overnight so you can get one complete night of sleep?

Someone once sold me on getting a night nurse for a few weeks (I was hesitant to bc of expense) by comparing it to the money I'd spend on vacation. Would you pay 2k for a week of vacation? Then take that 2k and use it for help to make your lives easier for 2 weeks at home. You'll feel so much better after.

[Anonymous]

Sleep deprivation can make you crazy. The previous poster had the same advice that I was going to give. Bring in a relative to give you a few nights of sleep, or hire a night nurse for 3/4 nights. It's worth it.

[Anonymous]

It gets easier at 2 and 4. You're more than halfway there.

[Anonymous]

You are me last year. It is easier when the second hits 2 years old. My second did not sleep through the night until a month ago. She will be three years old in Aug., she also had a dairy allergy and acid reflux. In a year from now, it will be better.

[Anonymous]

You need sleep--and that tiredness could be PPD. Can you get away for a hotel for a night--or two? Get the sleep, and then see where you are.

The yard, the weight, all that can wait until you are out of crisis mode.

[Anonymous]

Waiting for the SAHMs to chime in and say how much easier you have it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really overwhelmed and exhausted. My older DS was always an "easy" baby but DD has food allergies and gastro issues so she hasn't slept through the night yet. DH and I also have professional commitments and while I've scaled back my work I can't afford to leave my job entirely. I felt like I was handling this all pretty well but this last month I've reached a level of exhaustion I've never known. While we keep our house clean and relatively organized on the inside, I feel like the cracks are literally starting to form. our yard looks terrible, we need to do some home repairs and can't find a contractor, I'm 40 pounds overweight. I don't know where to begin, but I'd like to get a little more control of things, is like to sleep.

3.5 mos is early to expect sleeping through the night. Can you afford to hire a night nurse (let mommy sleep is great) a couple times a week? This would help tremendously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Waiting for the SAHMs to chime in and say how much easier you have it...

[Anonymous]

When my second kid was born to age 18 months was the hardest for me. what I wished I had done differently--asked for more help. I wish I had gotten someone to clean the house, I wish I had gotten babysitters more often. I wish I had told someone I was drowning. Reach out, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really overwhelmed and exhausted. My older DS was always an "easy" baby but DD has food allergies and gastro issues so she hasn't slept through the night yet. DH and I also have professional commitments and while I've scaled back my work I can't afford to leave my job entirely. I felt like I was handling this all pretty well but this last month I've reached a level of exhaustion I've never known. While we keep our house clean and relatively organized on the inside, I feel like the cracks are literally starting to form. our yard looks terrible, we need to do some home repairs and can't find a contractor, I'm 40 pounds overweight. I don't know where to begin, but I'd like to get a little more control of things, is like to sleep.

3.5 mos is early to expect sleeping through the night. Can you afford to hire a night nurse (let mommy sleep is great) a couple times a week? This would help tremendously.

Uh, her oldest is 3.5 YEARS. He youngest is 16 months, and has not slept.

OP, that's rough. I have the same spacing, but my kids are 3 yo and 9 months right now. The baby has slept through the night for the last 8 weeks or so, and let me tell you, it took a good few weeks of solid night time sleep before I felt better. Now I feel like a completely new person. I'm happier, more patient and able to have FUN with my kids, instead of just surviving. I contribute this 100% to getting solid sleep. I thought I was doing well with just one wake up, but now I see I was not. I was grumpy and short tempered and really hard on my toddler because I was SO DAMN TIRED.

All of this is to say, find a way to get some solid sleep. Trade night duty with your DH. Ask relatives for help. Hire someone to help at night. Whatever you need to do. Solid sleep is a game changer and makes every other things so so so so much easier.

I'm sorry this is hard.