Do you feel guilty if you have to put your health over visiting family?
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Anonymous
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My DH and DS #1 have been at the beach with our friends all week. Today we were all supposed to meet (me and DS #2 would fly from DCA) in my hometown in the Midwest. It's my mom's birthday, my parent's anniversary and father's day. DS #2 was going to have his first flight (he's 6 months) and see my 94 year old grandmother for the first time. We only had a short visit planned as I exhausted most of my leave on "maternity leave". I'm a federal worker and we do not receive maternity or paternity leave.
I have been sick with strep throat all week. I haven't really been able to rest as we are doing a renovation project to our house and I have a six month old who is breastfeeding a lot lately at night as he's teething. I feel like I wasn't able to get better quickly because I am so worn down. My DH is also not home so it is just me solo with DS. I feel really guilty as I had to cancel my flight and get a voucher. I was too sick to travel. I still have a fever after 4 days of taking medicine and Tylenol and drinking only fluids and eating very little as I have no appetite, am very lethargic and extremely tired. My parents were very understanding and even offered to come to DC. My DH offered to cancel his trip too. I just feel awful that my DH is missing his first father's day with DS #2 and that my parents and grandmother won't see DS #2. Do you feel guilty when you have to put your health over visiting family? I know I made the right choice, but I really struggle. I didn't want to get other people sick or even sicker and I didn't feel strong enough to pack, take the Metro and all the baby stuff to the airport, be on a plane by myself, probably have to reinstall the carseat my parents borrowed, etc. Would you have done something different? I didn't want my DS #1 to miss out as it's my mom's 65th birthday and her birthday party is a theme my son asked for, so her party is actually geared towards his interests (a book they both love). My parents have a lake house and a pool so I know my son will love it there rather than coming home and being stuck inside while I'm sick and his dad takes care of me and a baby. |
Anonymous
| No. You need to focus on getting better. Everything else can be rescheduled. Repeat the airplane mantra: help yourself before helping others. |
Anonymous
| Sorry you are sick, OP. Yes, I have occasionally had to cancel things due to illness. It's OK. Can you Skype in for a long call with your whole family and your little guy on Father's Day? If they feel you want to be there, they'll be fine. |
Anonymous
| I am so sorry Op. What a mess. You did the right thing staying home and taking care of you and baby!! |
Anonymous
| Not too sick to spend a week at the beach with your friends and older child but too sick to visit your family with your baby? Ok. |
Anonymous
| eh, if you are that ill you have no business being around elderly people. And if you have been on an antibiotic for strep for 4 days and have seen very little improvement - time to go back to the doctor. |
Anonymous
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You did the right thing--sorry for the incredibly crappy timing.
If you still have a fever it may be worse than strep--go back to the doctor. And right not to pass on to the older folks. |
Anonymous
You misread. OP's home alone with DC2 while her H is at the beach with DC1. |
Anonymous
Read it again. Her husband and son have been at the beach all week. Meaning she was taking care of a baby by herself with strep. |
Anonymous
| Nope, I don't feel guilty about stuff like that. I might feel a little sad that I missed seeing people, but I don't feel guilty. Why should I? What's the alternative? I travel while sick and exhausted, spreading my germs all around? |
Anonymous
| Nope, not at all. If you won't be with your husband for father's day, send something to be delivered, and tell him you'd like to celebrate father's day with him when the immediate family is back together. Feel better! |
Anonymous
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No, you did the right thing. Put yourself in your parent's shoes. If YOUR child were sick, would you want them to suffer for you? Or would you want them to stay home and take care of themselves?
And how awful would you feel if your parents ended up with strep because you just had to go see them? |
Anonymous
| No, I wouldn't feel guilty, and you shouldn't. Get some rest and feel better soon. |