Curse Words
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Anonymous
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Dear fellow parents,
My DD is 6th grader and has several friends in both 5th and 6th. Some of her friends use foul language, curse words and not mention all the abbreviated emoji laden language in their emails / texts and even when they talk. As far as I know, my DD's emails have been far cleaner. Is this the norm at this age to use such language these days? Would have expected these probably in high school or so. Do you think it is early? How do I help my DD through this? I cant tell her friends parents about their DDs but I can surely caution my DD. Appreciate any tips. Did not expect this from the girls going to top private school in the area that too at this early age when they are not even teenagers. Thanks Concerned parent |
Anonymous
| It's not true of my (rising) 6th grade DD and her friends (who attend public and private schools). |
Anonymous
| OP, what do you mean "help your daughter through this?" That's a bit of an overstatement on your part, I would hope. |
Anonymous
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I can't tell you if it's the norm, though I agree it would seem to be awfully young for that based on my experience as a middle school teacher. That said, it only takes a couple of kids (especially if they're the influencers for their grade) to do it and a trend can start.
As for how to deal with it, I'm very comfortable telling my daughter that even if things may be acceptable for others, they aren't in our family. I'd talk about why your values are what they are - for example how people will likely judge a young girl based on that type of language, how she's responsible for the image she presents, frankly the lack of creativity and articulateness that it conveys (in my opinion), etc.. And then the rules are just the rules for our family. |
Anonymous
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OP here. By helping my DD I meant I do not want my DD to think it is "OK" to use such language and that she can adopt it herself. I told her that she should speak and write good proper English and that will reflect her personality. She gets excellent grades so academically she is fine. Just that she has these group of friends who use such words so frequently in their communications that it is shocking.
PP - Thank you for the tips. I will reinforce those values and make sure she does not have lower her language standards. |
Anonymous
Then tell her that. And punish her if she does. This is hard??? Yes, OP, I know it's shocking to realize. We think our kids are in bubbles in these private schools and that none of the troublesome issues or kids of the world will ever touch them. After all, we're paying big bucks to get them away from the riff raff. |
Anonymous
| Wait until the girls start hooking up with boys next year...6th grade is not young for bad language use to start. Brace yourself for the next six years. Stand firm on your values but also pick your battles. By the time you get to tenth grade, a few bad words will seem like nothing to get upset about. |
Anonymous
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My DD started using curse words in 7th grade. I told her that I don't want to hear it, don't want her friends' parents hearing it and I don't want her letting her teachers hear it. How she speaks privately with her friends is up to her.
Her writing continues to be as good as it's always been. She is still on high honor roll. |
Anonymous
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It is definitely not uncommon at this age. MANY 6th grade girls do sometimes use this kind of language. I know, it is shocking, because they just look so...little.
I've taught in private schools for a decade, and I do notice that this sort of thing starts a lot younger than it did when I was in school (I'm 38). I remember being into horses and just starting to talk about which boy I "liked" and who was "going out" (ie, sitting together at recess/lunch). |
Anonymous
| the use of curse words have nothing to do with Money and everything to do with family values... it's upsetting to me the superiority people feel when talking about private schools... some of the worst behaved kids are spoiled kids with money. |
Anonymous
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I also wonder how the girls are able to catch on to these horrid words (examples such as WTF, MF, B**** etc that even to repeat here I find really disturbing). Where do they get these from? Their parents, as one can expect, are fine set of folks with both a good education and have done well. Their friends are just these bunch of girls. The books they read in school and shows they apparently share interest in are things like Harry Potter or a bit higher intellectually but nothing that has such words. So I wonder what the source of such foul mouthed language is in the first place?
Secondly, dont the school tell them to not put such language out on the web using the school's devices like laptops or ipads? We first saw this language when a friend of hers posted on Tumblr. Posting online has its won repercussions. And with such words in the lexicon, it is driving us nuts to track everything. So, yes, both the source of such words and the medium through which they use these words compound my shock. Thanks all for your guidance. |
Anonymous
OP are you really this naive?? Have you watched any of the TV your kids watch? Do any of your DDs friends have older siblings? Have you read some of the books/ magazines/ online stuff they read? I hate this kind of language too, but I'm certainly not shocked that my 4th grader and 7th grader are exposed to it. |
Anonymous
| I have given my children permission to swear as much as they like in French, so long as when they do they form a full sentence which is grammatically correct. |
Anonymous
| How could you tell? |
Anonymous
| "top private school ... ". Heh. Typical of most private schools. OP, get used to it - your fantasy about behavior in private school is going to be shattered. |