Is SIL overstepping?

[Anonymous]

I've seen SIL twice in the last week due to family events. The first time this week DD got sleepy. She's 1 and is in the stage of yelling NO when someone mentions bed time. SIL was holding her a d said "oh your mommy wants to make you go to bed. What a mean mommy" I just ignored it. She was trying to the fun aunt, fine. Then I went to grab DD and because DD didn't want to come to me SIL wouldn't let me have her! I thought how strange and DH grabbed her. Yesterday was a family reunion and when it was time for seating, SIL inserted herself in between DD and I. So the seating looked like this: Me, SIL, DD, Nephew, DH. To be continued in comments

[Anonymous]

So the entire time SIL inserted herself as DD's mommy. The waitress thought SIL was her mom because she even tried to order for DD.

[Anonymous]

Nah. Its really nothing. Dont over analyze because nothing fruitful will come of it. Just be pleasant during family events and be done with it. You dont want to make things an issue and then make it hard for your brother to be close to his sister or your kids to their aunt. I have 6 SIL's and I dont like a few of them and have learned to keep things easy and breezey and let everything roll of your back. Its honestly the best approach. Ive tried all the others!

[Anonymous]

Not to mention, anytime SIL has DD in her arms she will pass her to anyone BUT me if there is someone else around..It's the strangest thing. When she does hand her to me she will ask me if I mind watching her for a moment. I've replied "well she's my kid so umm yes"

[Anonymous]

Maybe your SIL always wanted a daughter and is pretending DD is hers. I am an aunt to a niece and would never do anything of those things. I DO ask to sit next to the baby (with one of her parents on the other side) but sometimes it doesn't work out and that's okay.

I would NEVER tell my niece her mom or dad are mean for saying she has to do something. I would say something encouraging about what they said she has to do. "Mama says it's nap time. I bet you're going to dream about purple butterflies (her favorite things) and how much fun you're going to have tomorrow!"

Your husband (since it's his sister) needs to speak up. "Actually Diane, Larla needs to sit next to at least one of us."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your SIL always wanted a daughter and is pretending DD is hers. I am an aunt to a niece and would never do anything of those things. I DO ask to sit next to the baby (with one of her parents on the other side) but sometimes it doesn't work out and that's okay.

I would NEVER tell my niece her mom or dad are mean for saying she has to do something. I would say something encouraging about what they said she has to do. "Mama says it's nap time. I bet you're going to dream about purple butterflies (her favorite things) and how much fun you're going to have tomorrow!"

Your husband (since it's his sister) needs to speak up. "Actually Diane, Larla needs to sit next to at least one of us."

She does want a daughter. Naturally the visiting family asked her if she was planning on another and she told them she's been trying for a couple of years now but she desperately wants some little girl. Then she adds "John and Jane aren't having anymore". Rude because I can't have anymore children and she knows we are going to adopt.

[Anonymous]

You hate her and its obvious. Just leave her alone. She can't do anything right in your eyes. This is all so petty.

[Anonymous]

Her comment about you not having more kids when she knows you are adopting was definitely rude. The other things I would let slide. She should know better given she already has kid(s) but not worth being upset about, especially if you don't see her very often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You hate her and its obvious. Just leave her alone. She can't do anything right in your eyes. This is all so petty.

If I hated her she wouldn't be around my child at all. I don't like it when she refuses to hand me my child or when she inserts herself between me and my child. I'm allowed to feel that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her comment about you not having more kids when she knows you are adopting was definitely rude. The other things I would let slide. She should know better given she already has kid(s) but not worth being upset about, especially if you don't see her very often.

They're Italian. I see DH's family every Sunday.

[Anonymous]

So many bored people, looking for a fight. Also, she is rude because she can't have any more kids and you are going to adopt? If all this is OP, you have issues, seek help. If different pps, so many crazies here.

[Anonymous]

she's jealous you have a little girl. I would try and let this go, nothing she is doing is malicious, its just annoying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many bored people, looking for a fight. Also, she is rude because she can't have any more kids and you are going to adopt? If all this is OP, you have issues, seek help. If different pps, so many crazies here.

No she's rude to announce to everyone that I won't be having any more children. No one asked her.

[Anonymous]

You are not looking for advice. Any advice that goes even slightly against your idea of her you attack and defend your stance. You just want us to pile on the hate towards your SIL.

[Anonymous]

I can see why you'd be irritated, but ultimately the more people who love and support your child, the better - a close relationship with extended family will benefit your DD and it's great/healthy that she's comfortable and can bond with other people besides you. It takes nothing away from your mother-daughter bond.

So honestly, I would just let it go. I found it touching when family members were proprietary about my children - I'm glad they are loved. But I also find it unthreatening - obviously their closest bond is with their parents, that goes without saying. It doesn't need to be defended or proven.
I'd just let it go and enjoy the rare moments of having your hands free.