Is SIL overstepping?

[Anonymous]

Yes she is weird. Yes, she has an issue with you and some jealousy. Yes she wants a daughter. But, it is clear at least FIL gets it, so the best approach is to be nice. I get it. My mom takes over at every opportunity in a way designed to make me look incompetent. I just let her.

Also, unless there is a food related reason to insist that you sit next to your daughter, take this as an opportunity to have an adult meal and leave her the hard work of sitting with the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes she is weird. Yes, she has an issue with you and some jealousy. Yes she wants a daughter. But, it is clear at least FIL gets it, so the best approach is to be nice. I get it. My mom takes over at every opportunity in a way designed to make me look incompetent. I just let her.

Also, unless there is a food related reason to insist that you sit next to your daughter, take this as an opportunity to have an adult meal and leave her the hard work of sitting with the baby.

This. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Your SIL is an asshole and totally out of line. The "mean mommy" crack, the not handing you back your daughter (!!!!), the announcing your infertility (!) - I'd struggle to be civil to her.

You are not overly sensitive. She is wat out of line.

I'm Irish and I grew up in a street with lots of Italian friends. I agree with a PP above: you're gonna have to throw an elbow. Subtlety will not work. Kindness will do nothing. You can't avoid your DH's family without blowing up your marriage.

So you gotta reclaim your space. She is a bully and a jerk and the only language she will respect is authority. You are your daughter's mom. Throw the elbow. Twice if you need to.

"Maria, get your hands off my daughter this instant. And the next time you hold on to her when I ask for her is the last time you hold her this year. I am not kidding."

"Maria, shut your mouth about my personal business. I don't talk about your resproductive plans and you have no business opening your mouth about mine."

"Maria, she's my daughter, not yours. If you want to spend time with her, quit making cracks about me. I know you want your own daughter but you can't make mine yours by saying shut about me."

I am not kidding. You gotta be harsh. Throw the fucking elbow. She deserves it and it is the only thing she will respect. Physically get in her face if you need to.

[Anonymous]

Amen to the poster above. You can spend 20 years being polite and fuming inside, or you can throw an elbow. My DH spent the first five years of our marriage telling me his family doesn't understand subtlety, and I have to be direct. I finally learned and am much happier (though definitely not as popular within his family...the price you pay.) The family isn't going to automatically respect that you are your DD's mother. You have to reclaim your space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your SIL is an asshole and totally out of line. The "mean mommy" crack, the not handing you back your daughter (!!!!), the announcing your infertility (!) - I'd struggle to be civil to her.

You are not overly sensitive. She is wat out of line.

I'm Irish and I grew up in a street with lots of Italian friends. I agree with a PP above: you're gonna have to throw an elbow. Subtlety will not work. Kindness will do nothing. You can't avoid your DH's family without blowing up your marriage.

So you gotta reclaim your space. She is a bully and a jerk and the only language she will respect is authority. You are your daughter's mom. Throw the elbow. Twice if you need to.

"Maria, get your hands off my daughter this instant. And the next time you hold on to her when I ask for her is the last time you hold her this year. I am not kidding."

"Maria, shut your mouth about my personal business. I don't talk about your resproductive plans and you have no business opening your mouth about mine."

"Maria, she's my daughter, not yours. If you want to spend time with her, quit making cracks about me. I know you want your own daughter but you can't make mine yours by saying shut about me."

I am not kidding. You gotta be harsh. Throw the fucking elbow. She deserves it and it is the only thing she will respect. Physically get in her face if you need to.

If you do this your in-laws will think you are psycho, just FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your SIL is an asshole and totally out of line. The "mean mommy" crack, the not handing you back your daughter (!!!!), the announcing your infertility (!) - I'd struggle to be civil to her.

You are not overly sensitive. She is wat out of line.

I'm Irish and I grew up in a street with lots of Italian friends. I agree with a PP above: you're gonna have to throw an elbow. Subtlety will not work. Kindness will do nothing. You can't avoid your DH's family without blowing up your marriage.

So you gotta reclaim your space. She is a bully and a jerk and the only language she will respect is authority. You are your daughter's mom. Throw the elbow. Twice if you need to.

"Maria, get your hands off my daughter this instant. And the next time you hold on to her when I ask for her is the last time you hold her this year. I am not kidding."

"Maria, shut your mouth about my personal business. I don't talk about your resproductive plans and you have no business opening your mouth about mine."

"Maria, she's my daughter, not yours. If you want to spend time with her, quit making cracks about me. I know you want your own daughter but you can't make mine yours by saying shut about me."

I am not kidding. You gotta be harsh. Throw the fucking elbow. She deserves it and it is the only thing she will respect. Physically get in her face if you need to.

If you do this your in-laws will think you are psycho, just FYI.

Nah. She'll be speaking their language.