Can anyone talk about a four year age gap between children?
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Anonymous
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I intended to have my kids 2.5 years apart but... DD is just 1.5 and to get pregnant in three months feels way too soon for me.
This is actually all about me - we just started a new business, are building a new house that won't be ready for at least two more years and DD is the light of our lives right now and I don't want to take that away from me by being sick and bloated. My sister and I are exactly 2.5 years apart and have always been best friends. My niece and nephew are 2.5 years apart and are amazingly close. Can kids be close if they are four or five years apart in age? |
Anonymous
| Yes, of course. DD and DS are 5 years apart and very close. It has everything to do with personality and your family lifestyle (whether you do everything together and how parents guide the sibling relationship), not with the age gap. |
Anonymous
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I am in middle with a brother 4 years older and a brother 4 years younger. Older brother and I have always been good friends. Younger brother and I not so much. So you never know.
Have your kids when you feel comfortable and ready. The kids will be fine. |
Anonymous
| My kids are 4.25 yrs apart Boy and girl They have their ups and downs like any siblings, but for the most part they are very close and loving. The oldest is 10 tomorrow. He'll be a fifth grader next year and both kids are super excited to be in the same school for the year as his sister starts K. |
Anonymous
+1 my kids are 4.5 years apart and they adore each other. it was a larger age gap than we had planned, but it actually worked out well. older kid was somewhat self-sufficient by the time our baby was born and not at all jealous of his little sibling. |
Anonymous
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My boys are 4.5 years apart and are good buddies...we often find them in the same bed (8.5 And 4 years old)
My brother and I are 5.5 years apart and are super good friends. |
Anonymous
| My kids are four years apart almost to the day. I don't know close they'll be when they are older, but right now it is awesome. I LOVE having an older, actual "helper" with the baby. |
Anonymous
| My two oldest kids are 3 yrs, 3 months apart and they're close. They actually went to colleges across the country from home, but within an hour of each other. They saw each other almost every weekend and talked/texted all the time. |
Anonymous
| Hmm...I'm 4 years apart from my sister, and my husband is 4 years from his brother. Neither of us is particularly close. It is personalities, certainly, but my sister and I were never in the same stage of life. I was still playing dolls and make believe when she had moved onto more tween stuff. By the time I started middle school, she was in high school and starting to date and I was the bratty little sister. By the time I was in high school, she was in college, and again I just couldn't understand everything going on in her life. Same thing with my being in college and her being in the workforce; her being married while I was still dating, etc. By the time we were in similar places in life, we were living in different states, so we never really had a chance to click. Again, I'm sure it is largely personalities, but with that age gap, I don't think they are doing things "together" -- it is more that the older one is sort of mentoring or humoring the younger one, if she has that kind of personality, or is ignoring her, if she doesn't. I'm glad other people are close with their siblings. Mine just never had much use for me growing up, as she always thought I was "too young" -- I think she's a very nice person and I'd probably like to be close with her, but we just don't really have much of a bond to build on. |
Anonymous
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I'm 4 years from my brother and my spouse is as well
My first two children are very close in age - but there is a 4 year gap between the last two and they are very close now that they are older. |
Anonymous
| I'm 4 years older than my brother and we never got along. We were always in different stages and fought constantly because we had nothing in common. We basically did all family vacations in driving distance so we could each bring friends--otherwise it was a nightmare for my parents. For this reason I'm determined to have a 2nd three years or less from my first. But I do agree with the PP, it's probably at least as much personality as it is age gap. (I also want a third child because I was so frustrated with just one "much younger" sibling but I know I could end with three close in age that don't get along either.) |
Anonymous
Our experience as well, with a just-shy-of-4-yrs gap. DD was old enough to accept "mommy needs to feed the baby please wait a minute" and having watched friends with two under two, etc... it probably saved my sanity. They are incredibly close and play together sooner than you think. Watching DS' face light up when he sees his big sister is heart meltingly adorable. FWIW I have a sib just about 2.5 years apart and we haven't spoken in years, so... |
Anonymous
| My sister and I are 4 years apart and best friends. We were not in the same stages of life too often but we were always very close -- I believe this had to do with personality, but also because my mom made it a point to bolster our sibling bond every chance she got. I just had a baby and now my kids are 6 years apart, and I'm also trying to make it a point with my elder child that this new person in our family will be his friend and partner in life. There are no guarantees obviously but I do believe that how one guides one's children and how the family operates can have an effect on how sibling relationships turn out. |
Anonymous
| How old will you be if you wait longer? |
Anonymous
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My kids are 3.5 and 4 years apart. It works great. They play well together but each is at her/his own stage as well and gets some independence.
You have the family that's right for you. No need to control these details. It'll be good. |