Have you ever had an on-going sexual relationship with an ex spouse?

[Anonymous]

My wife and I divorced 5 years ago. It was amicable. We don't have kids, then or now.

I'm single, nothing serious at the moment, but have had a couple serious relationships since our divorce

My ex wife is in a long term relationship with a woman.

We sometimes go as long as 4-6 months without any contact between us at all, and then we'll talk a few times, meet up, have sex, and then not communicate again for months. We are both unfaithful to our past/current respective partners, with each other. We have no desire to be married again, or see each other more than a handful of times a year, for sex.

My wife has explained it by saying she just misses having sex with a man, but doesn't want to date a man or stop seeing her partner. She says I'm a known commodity. As for me, well, she's still very attractive to me, and we always clicked sexually, so it works for me for the time being. I have no idea how long it will continue, but I've been unhappy with myself for being unfaithful to the women I've been in relationships with.

This will end at some point, I suppose.

Has anyone else ever had a relationship like this with an ex spouse?

[Anonymous]

Yours is pretty unusual. But yes one of my dark secrets is that I had fairly regular sex (once or twice a year) with ex H, even though he left me for another woman. He was great in bed and like your ex said a known quantity.

My theory based on talking to friends is that more than 50% of ex spouses have sex at least once after divorce. This theory has really upset some people in my life but that's what I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I divorced 5 years ago. It was amicable. We don't have kids, then or now.

I'm single, nothing serious at the moment, but have had a couple serious relationships since our divorce

My ex wife is in a long term relationship with a woman.

We sometimes go as long as 4-6 months without any contact between us at all, and then we'll talk a few times, meet up, have sex, and then not communicate again for months. We are both unfaithful to our past/current respective partners, with each other. We have no desire to be married again, or see each other more than a handful of times a year, for sex.

My wife has explained it by saying she just misses having sex with a man, but doesn't want to date a man or stop seeing her partner. She says I'm a known commodity. As for me, well, she's still very attractive to me, and we always clicked sexually, so it works for me for the time being. I have no idea how long it will continue, but I've been unhappy with myself for being unfaithful to the women I've been in relationships with.

This will end at some point, I suppose.

Has anyone else ever had a relationship like this with an ex spouse?

Yes. Normal.

[Anonymous]

Yep, continued if for 3 years until I moved away. Known commodity, guaranteed to get it right, no issue when I kicked him out of bed at 2am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yours is pretty unusual. But yes one of my dark secrets is that I had fairly regular sex (once or twice a year) with ex H, even though he left me for another woman. He was great in bed and like your ex said a known quantity.

My theory based on talking to friends is that more than 50% of ex spouses have sex at least once after divorce. This theory has really upset some people in my life but that's what I think.

Wow - I can see why people don't want to date those who have been separated and not divorced.

[Anonymous]

Yes. It's easy, convenient, he is trained.

[Anonymous]

Your situation is kinda unique in that your wife is dating a woman but still wants sex with a man. I'd be surprised if there is a significant percentage of women who are actually dating another man and still want to have sex with their ex.

[Anonymous]

I did this for a few years with my ex-H because despite being a lousy H he was incredible in bed. The few guys I dated simply didn't compare. Fortunately I did meet and marry a guy with equal skills and have been happily satisfied for 11 years.

[Anonymous]

If you could just dial it up to once a week instead of once every 4-6 months it would be the ideal relationship. =)

[Anonymous]

My ex and I get together about once a month. During our marriage sex was the only area where we were compatible. Neither of us is in a relationship so we are not "cheating." I would like to be in a LTR with someone but until I do I'm happy with the current arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this for a few years with my ex-H because despite being a lousy H he was incredible in bed. The few guys I dated simply didn't compare. Fortunately I did meet and marry a guy with equal skills and have been happily satisfied for 11 years.

What made the ex so incredible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yours is pretty unusual. But yes one of my dark secrets is that I had fairly regular sex (once or twice a year) with ex H, even though he left me for another woman. He was great in bed and like your ex said a known quantity.

My theory based on talking to friends is that more than 50% of ex spouses have sex at least once after divorce. This theory has really upset some people in my life but that's what I think.

That's sad you would do that with someone that cheated that cheated on you. I would have moved on quickly, that person wouldn't be a part of my life.

[Anonymous]

My theory is women with low self worth will hook up with the ex. It's still a co-dependent relationship even if it's just for sex. They can't find anyone else plus maybe giving off vibes of what they're doing to prospective dates. I wouldn't date anyone who was still involved with a ex. Even if they play the "kid" card I'm not buying it. You know when someone has moved on versus someone who is still playing games with the ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My theory is women with low self worth will hook up with the ex. It's still a co-dependent relationship even if it's just for sex. They can't find anyone else plus maybe giving off vibes of what they're doing to prospective dates. I wouldn't date anyone who was still involved with a ex. Even if they play the "kid" card I'm not buying it. You know when someone has moved on versus someone who is still playing games with the ex.

Very true. I would also think that sex with the ex is more intense due to the circumstances vs. a normal relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My theory is women with low self worth will hook up with the ex. It's still a co-dependent relationship even if it's just for sex. They can't find anyone else plus maybe giving off vibes of what they're doing to prospective dates. I wouldn't date anyone who was still involved with a ex. Even if they play the "kid" card I'm not buying it. You know when someone has moved on versus someone who is still playing games with the ex.

Very true. I would also think that sex with the ex is more intense due to the circumstances vs. a normal relationship.

Allowing yourself to be used for sex has to be a pretty empty feeling. I'd rather move forward making "positive changes" in my own life. Lose weight, exercise, get a make over, join some clubs and meet new people. These women could have so much more, but they are in that position because of poor choices and NOT learning from their mistakes.