Anyone Convince DH to Get Vasectomy

[Anonymous]

I know lots of men are willing to get snipped, but my DH is not one of them. He would prefer for me to have a tubal ligation after I have our final child in a couple of months. My OB says that I 100% should not have more children due to the health risks, and that our only two safe options are tubal ligation and vasectomy. Between these, the OB doesn't understand why DH would ever want to put my body through anything else since tube "tying" is more invasive than a vasectomy, etc.

I shared all of this with DH, who said that my female OB and I "just don't understand how men feel about these things." He then started in on how the incisions wouldn't even be that big for me, etc., so I said we should just talk about it in a couple of weeks. Short of withholding his beloved oral, how can I get him to come around? Have others had success with logic when dealing with so-called "manly men"?

[Anonymous]

I would divorce over this. I'm not kidding.

[Anonymous]

I told DH I was pregnant for 120 weeks and had three C-sections. That was enough of a toll on my body, and he could take one for the team. Out patient surgery, soreness for a week versus three pregnancies and three major surgeries. Yes, I laid a major guilt trip on him. It worked.

[Anonymous]

I just told him it was his turn to do something painful and embarrassing and there'd be no sex until he recovered. He was on board right quick.

[Anonymous]

This is a unique situation because it's about your safety. It's not like my situation, where I would like my DH to get a vasectomy so that I don't have to take the pill (which I think is bad to take for a super long period of time), and we both hate using condoms.

In your case, I think you need to present all of the information about the two procedures and then discuss them together. Maybe he doesn't know the particulars and how much more intense your procedure would be. If you can explain your reasoning for thinking it would be better for him to do it than you, that might be helpful. Having someone else do it (a man if possible) would be even better -- like if there's a doctor you could both meet with (any men in your OB practice??).

On the other hand, it's your health that is at risk if there is a pregnancy, and so in some ways it's logical for you to have the surgery to prevent any possibility of pregnancy. I can see that perspective as something he might throw out there.

My DH was totally against it, but we are friends with a couple where the DH just had it done -- willingly (it was even his idea) and is happy with the results. He's not super close with the DH -- I'm closer with the DW -- so they haven't had a huge discussion about it, but this has really changed his attitude. He's suddenly brought it up recently as something he might legitimately concern. It's still an "in the future" thing to him, but his attitude is shifting. If there's any chance he could talk with other guys who have made the decision, I really think it would help a lot.

[Anonymous]

I had my friends' DH to talk to my DH about how easy and painless it was and how it improved the spontaneity of their sex life.
Then I told him I wasn't taking the pill anymore and wouldn't get my tubes tied and we'd have to use condoms for the rest of our marriage.
The combination changed his mind.

[Anonymous]

jesus some of you ladies really are married to selfish dicks. Cut of sex, cold turkey. All sexual activity. His choice.

[Anonymous]

Most couples have this done after final kid. Wasn't it discussed together after your delivery post checkup.

[Anonymous]

Similar to above... condoms or no sex until vasectomy. Also, my husband realized the immense toll on my body of 3 pregnancies, 3 c sections, 3 stints of bedrest, and ruptured intestines after one of those c sections. Definitely his turn and he took it fairly well.

[Anonymous]

Me!! DH was very amenable to it though.

[Anonymous]

Any DH who submits to a vasectomy under threat of no sex might as well have his balls cut off too. What a pussy.

[Anonymous]

My sis convinced her husband. And half his friends agreed to do it too after he did it. He's a manly state trooper.

[Anonymous]

My husband had no qualms about it.

[Anonymous]

My husband didn't know anything about it, thus was highly offended and still won't consider it. Even though he has no information on it except from the SnipSnapSnipSnap episode in The Office.

[Anonymous]

Why isn't the Paragard/Mirena an option?