Oppositional Defiant Disorder: losing my MIND, need a good thearapist/DX

[Anonymous]

My 7yr old is so difficult, i can't even put it in words. He has not been diagnosed, but all that I'm reading fits him to a T. We are at a point where almost all interactions with him are negative. He's awful to his sibling, everyone is miserable and I have no skills to cope with his level of defiance. I walk on eggshells atoind him, prstically hold my breath whrn he comes downstairs foe breakfast in the morning waiting to see what mood he's in. And GOD FORBID i ask him to put his cereal bowl in the sink, it often leads to a full blown tanteum

Im in desparate need of a good clinic to get us all help. He told me yesterday in a moment of rare clarity that he feels "bad inside" becausr hes always angry. I feel bad inside because, I as a parent, cant handle him in a constructive manner.

SOS!

[Anonymous]

Tantrum

[Anonymous]

If he is this angry all the time he reallly needs to be evaluated. He could have any number of things- anxiety, a mood disorder, ODD... or maybe something completely different. You can't begin to get him the help he needs until you know what you are dealing with.

My son has "unspecified" ODD (6) - he is not as angry as yours is - but he has his moments. He also has ADHD and anxiety. We are working with a behavior therapist but have also been tying variouss medications- we were on stimulants for the ADHD and they just made him worse- more irritable. Now we are trying Zoloft to see if the mood component is what is hindering him the most.

I know it's really hard and exhausting. When my kid is at his worse I try to remind myself that most of the time he is not doing it on purpose- he has sensory processing issues as well. I think they all contribute to his behavior.

[Anonymous]

My son is very difficult, but more so at school. Is there any difference between school and home? Is he always angry? What keeps him calm and happy?

For my son, the neuropsych testing was not very helpful as we already knew that anxiety and ADHD were driving him. Even with his behaviors, he is not considered odd. Medication was key (Zoloft first, then added Concerta). We have also had success with a social skills group (Alvord and Baker) and family therapy. However, individual therapy is still not something he is ready for- he is 9. It ends up being too much of what he hates- talking about his feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 7yr old is so difficult, i can't even put it in words. He has not been diagnosed, but all that I'm reading fits him to a T. We are at a point where almost all interactions with him are negative. He's awful to his sibling, everyone is miserable and I have no skills to cope with his level of defiance. I walk on eggshells atoind him, prstically hold my breath whrn he comes downstairs foe breakfast in the morning waiting to see what mood he's in. And GOD FORBID i ask him to put his cereal bowl in the sink, it often leads to a full blown tanteum

Im in desparate need of a good clinic to get us all help. He told me yesterday in a moment of rare clarity that he feels "bad inside" becausr hes always angry. I feel bad inside because, I as a parent, cant handle him in a constructive manner.

SOS!

Well, big hug to you both.

First, step away from "Dr. Google." It's probably not ODD. Second where are you located? Third, call Children's Hospital and Kennedy Krieger tomorrow and get on their wait lists for an evaluation.

[Anonymous]

You will be able to get in sooner with a psychiatrist for an evaluation. Clonidine is your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will be able to get in sooner with a psychiatrist for an evaluation. Clonidine is your friend.

No you won't. So many child psychiatrists in this area don't take new patients. (Clonidine is a heavy duty drug and not administered lightly.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is very difficult, but more so at school. Is there any difference between school and home? Is he always angry? What keeps him calm and happy?

For my son, the neuropsych testing was not very helpful as we already knew that anxiety and ADHD were driving him. Even with his behaviors, he is not considered odd. Medication was key (Zoloft first, then added Concerta). We have also had success with a social skills group (Alvord and Baker) and family therapy. However, individual therapy is still not something he is ready for- he is 9. It ends up being too much of what he hates- talking about his feelings.

Yes, you may have known it in your gut, but you need more than a gut feeling to get medications if they're necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is very difficult, but more so at school. Is there any difference between school and home? Is he always angry? What keeps him calm and happy?

For my son, the neuropsych testing was not very helpful as we already knew that anxiety and ADHD were driving him. Even with his behaviors, he is not considered odd. Medication was key (Zoloft first, then added Concerta). We have also had success with a social skills group (Alvord and Baker) and family therapy. However, individual therapy is still not something he is ready for- he is 9. It ends up being too much of what he hates- talking about his feelings.

Yes, you may have known it in your gut, but you need more than a gut feeling to get medications if they're necessary.

I am the pp. he was already diagnosed by psychiatrist with the anxiety and ADHD after working with the psychiatrist and school for multiple years. He was medicated based on that. The neuropsych didn't come until later when we were looking to see if we were missing anything (like asperger's).

[Anonymous]

Has he always been irritable or is it new? Has it recently gotten worse? Has anything changed?
My DS with HFA/ADHD had a really dramatic worsening of behavior in 3rd grade. It corresponded with a change of school. A change in ADHD meds, counseling, and change of school environment really helped.

Also, try reading the website called Celebrate Calm.The more you get riled up by his behavior, the worse it will get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is very difficult, but more so at school. Is there any difference between school and home? Is he always angry? What keeps him calm and happy?

For my son, the neuropsych testing was not very helpful as we already knew that anxiety and ADHD were driving him. Even with his behaviors, he is not considered odd. Medication was key (Zoloft first, then added Concerta). We have also had success with a social skills group (Alvord and Baker) and family therapy. However, individual therapy is still not something he is ready for- he is 9. It ends up being too much of what he hates- talking about his feelings.

He is great at school and from what I read on ODD that can be quite typical. He is not angry when he is doing what he wants, but the SECOND my DH or I ask him to do something even minor he meltdown. Hes happy as can br as long as hes dictating the shots. Hang your backpack up results in rage. He gets irritated at the most minor of things. Today was the way his brother was breathing (allergies and stuffy).

So, we walk on eggshells. Tonight in order to get him in the shower, i didn't ask him to get in the shower, i coaxed him upstairs and into the bathroom ans then asked him to get in thr shower. A tantrum ensued, but at least we were in the bathroom, not downstairs, which getring up the stairs for a shower is half the battle. We basicslly operate around him. It is is mentally taxing. I love my son, but im ashamed to admit, im beginning to not like him very much.

[Anonymous]

Even if it is "ODD", ODD is just a symptom of an underlying issue. A lot of ODD kids actually have severe anxiety and do well on meds like Prozac or Zoloft. Just FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if it is "ODD", ODD is just a symptom of an underlying issue. A lot of ODD kids actually have severe anxiety and do well on meds like Prozac or Zoloft. Just FYI.

Yes, i read all about that as well. I also have ADD and my brother and sister have crippling anxiety amd my father has been instututionalized which isnt exactly great genes we're dealing with here. Im quite sensitive to mental illness due to unfortunate personal experience.

[Anonymous]

The one key thing is that the behavior is only at home. When the teachers give a demand, he is okay. That indicates that it is a home issue. Sounds like family counseling needs to come first.

[Anonymous]

There is abook called 1,2,3 Magic. It gives you a technique for home discipline using warnings and timeouts. The fact that it doesn't happen in school suggests he is reachable using begavioral tchniques.