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There may be a thread already; if so, forgive me.
Looking for an OB GYN that is lesbian / non-traditional family friendly. Been to several doctors that ask the same old questions regarding "Where's your husband?" Would rather deal with a doctor for my pregnancy who gets it. No trolls please |
| We are a two-mom family currently on our second pregnancy at GW. I have found it a non-issue with all of the doctors. The residents and med students generally are fine too although occasionally one will ask a silly/slightly thoughtless question but overall we have had a very positive experience (although we did have the pharmacy call several times after the birth of our first child to say that the standard post partum birth control prescription was ready, and we kept having to explain why we didn't need it!). |
| I see Amy Levav in Rockville. She's great, and I've never gotten a weird vibe from her, though a lot of OBs are going to assume you're straight. It just happens. |
PP who goes to GW. Forgot to mention this earlier, but my wife and I go to the appointments together when possible, and after a few visits everyone remembers what my wife looks like and nobody asks about husbands or thinks my wife is my sister in my experience, people in this area usually mean well but obs just aren't as familiar with lesbians and non-gestational moms.
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What's your geographic range??
If you're anywhere near Washington Hospital Center, the Midwives there are AMAZING. They do well woman care, too, not just pregnancy. |
| I delivered both of my kids with Capital Women's Care at Georgia & Dennis. Sine delivered one, and Band delivered the other. My wife uses the practice as well. All the docs and nurses have been nothing but lovely to both of us. |
I've lived here since 1990, done a great deal of volunteer work around lesbian health, been pregnant several times and delivered kids here. OB/GYNs in this area are pretty familiar with queer moms-to-be. We're not unicorns. |
| Two mom family. Dr. Kelly at Georgetown is AMAZING! She delivered all four of our children. |
OT, but wow, I've never encountered a lesbian couple with more than three! Congrats.
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| Dr. Desouza in Spring Valley. After he rocked my L&D, my wife said "I wish he could be our pediatrician too!" |
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The majority of doctors deal with male female traditional pregnancies. Does it offend you docs can't guess that you are in a different kind of relationship? Did your doc seem uncomfortable with it? Or did he commit the sin of somehow not reading your mind?
I'd switch if a doc was uncomfortable with my life, or disrespectful, but how can any medical professional know the details of your life without being told? -a med professional |
No, med professional, no one is expecting anyone to read anyone's mind. However, you are expected to create a welcoming environment that allows patients to open up and share intimate details with you. There are really simple things that you can do to make me feel more comfortable. Coming out can be really scary. Like people have been beaten up and even killed for it. To you it make not seem like a big deal. But for many, even in 2017, it can be a huge risk. I'm not saying that a medical professional is going to beat someone up for coming out. I'm just sharing some context that cannot be ignored. When I (the patient) feel more comfortable and safe, it makes your job easier to treat me. In order for you to do your best job as a medical professional, you need me to trust you. Here are some things that can be done with any patient: --Don't assume I'm having sex with a man. If you ask me "Are you sexually active," I'll answer yes. And then if you ask me, "What birth control are you using?" I'll say I'm not using any. And then you'll ask, "Are you trying to get pregnant?" And I'll say "no," which will result in a confused look on your face. Next time just simply ask: "Are you sexually active with men?" If that's what you want to know, just ask it. (YEs that Exchange has actually happened) --You can make friendly chit chat without saying things like, "Is your husband excited about the baby?" Instead ask, "So is your family excited about the baby?" This is an easy way to include everyone--husbands, wives, partners, friends--whomever the patient defines as "family." I promise I won't get offended if you can't guess that I'm a woman married to another woman if you promise that you won't automatically assume I'm straight and then talk to me using language that conveys that. Respectfully --a medical patient |
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Medical professionals have seen it all. No doctor or staff in DC would bat an eye at most patients, gay or straight.
If you fill out your intake forms and indicate your history truthfully, your doc will know your status before he sees you. Easy. If you feel your doc has issues with your life, find another. |
I agree with this. The forms I've filled out have asked plenty of questions that clarify exactly what I am and what my partner status is. Medical staff use neutral, inclusive expressions. They don't assume you have a partner, let alone a male one. |
+1 |