Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
No, med professional, no one is expecting anyone to read anyone's mind. However, you are expected to create a welcoming environment that allows patients to open up and share intimate details with you. There are really simple things that you can do to make me feel more comfortable. Coming out can be really scary. Like people have been beaten up and even killed for it. To you it make not seem like a big deal. But for many, even in 2017, it can be a huge risk. I'm not saying that a medical professional is going to beat someone up for coming out. I'm just sharing some context that cannot be ignored. When I (the patient) feel more comfortable and safe, it makes your job easier to treat me. In order for you to do your best job as a medical professional, you need me to trust you. Here are some things that can be done with any patient:
--Don't assume I'm having sex with a man. If you ask me "Are you sexually active," I'll answer yes. And then if you ask me, "What birth control are you using?" I'll say I'm not using any. And then you'll ask, "Are you trying to get pregnant?" And I'll say "no," which will result in a confused look on your face. Next time just simply ask: "Are you sexually active with men?" If that's what you want to know, just ask it. (YEs that Exchange has actually happened)
--You can make friendly chit chat without saying things like, "Is your husband excited about the baby?" Instead ask, "So is your family excited about the baby?" This is an easy way to include everyone--husbands, wives, partners, friends--whomever the patient defines as "family."
I promise I won't get offended if you can't guess that I'm a woman married to another woman if you promise that you won't automatically assume I'm straight and then talk to me using language that conveys that.
Respectfully
--a medical patient
+1
I went through that exact line of questioning almost verbatim with a new Obgyn. I've also had a nurse (who knew I was married to a woman and had used donor sperm) start trying to ask me about family medical history on partner's side...just was a novel situation to her and she got mixed up. Even if medical staff have no ill intent, it's annoying as a patient to have to teach them/correct assumptions each time. Would rather start with a doctor who was on the same page of understanding/not assuming from the beginning. They are certainly out there and I appreciate threads like this which help connect patients with doctors who are a good fit.
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