DD starts middle school in the fall, and I am scared to death.

[Anonymous]

I remember middle school as the worst years of my life. I was smart but conventionally unattractive, shy and had few friends. I was even attacked in a stairwell (probably attempted sexual assault, but I escaped). And this was in what was considered a great school district.

My daughter starts middle school in the fall and I am terrified for her. She's smart and kind of nerdy - wears glasses as I did. Likes being unconventional. She does have a number of friends though as she has a great personality.

What worked for you or your kids when transitioning? I am willing to get her contact lenses, help her buy a few "cool" clothes.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Try not to project any of your anxieties on your kid. Ask your DD how she feels about middle school and then listen. I have a DS who will start middle school in the fall and truthfully he's not thinking close to that far in the future. I think most kids aren't. Focus on being in the moment, for yourself and your DD.

[Anonymous]

ITA with the above poster who said don't project your bad memories onto her experience. You may perceive that you are similar, but you are not the same person, and this is a different time. The one piece of advice I have as the mom of a 8th grade DD is to be very available to listen. Be open to the fact that she may be hearing about risky or difficult behaviors, or she may be entertaining the idea of engaging in some. Help her to maintain as much confidence as possible in the face of tough situations, and let her feel comfortable admitting mistakes.

[Anonymous]

My son started middle school last fall. He doesn't have great social skills, is tiny and looks like a baby. He actually has special needs and goes to resource class. Nobody has ever bothered him, and he's slowly making friends.

Please don't worry about your daughter.

[Anonymous]

One benefit of the larger schools in this area -- there's a niche for everyone.

[Anonymous]

I have the exact same worries. I loathed junior high. DD is excited about middle school. I haven't told her how awful it was for me. With any luck it will be better for her.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for your suggestions. This is in FCC which is a small school system (which has its pros and cons). I do like that they seem to have an active anti-bullying strategy in place and also counseling groups of various kinds to help get kids acclimated.

Any book recommendations?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to lie to you: It blows.

Signed, father of 6th and 8th grade dds.

[Anonymous]

Does your middle school have after school clubs or teams?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your middle school have after school clubs or teams?

OP here, yes, they have a ton of them - usually at least 4-5 of them every afternoon. She is excited about a number of them, it will be hard for her to choose.

[Anonymous]

Not every middle school stinks. Look at some private middle schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not every middle school stinks. Look at some private middle schools.

Hi, she loves school thus far (in Falls Church City). I don't think any of the privates around here could do better, and don't want to pull her away from her friends and neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

My daughter just started middle school this year, she's in a FCPS school, and she absolutely loves it. I just asked her what she thinks of it, and she says it's so much better than elementary school. The switching of classes makes the day go by so much faster, and it's nice to see your friends during the breaks. Don't assume your kid won't like it because you didn't, and really try hard not to put any of your fears on her; my DD was scared to death at the start and within the first week she had acclimated and it was her new favorite thing. Your DD will be fine, OP!!

[Anonymous]

Another mom getting over trauma of middle school in the '80s. Surprisingly, I think maybe it's gotten better. I keep asking other kids and moms in the neighborhood and they all say the transition has been smooth and their kids like it. So there's hope!

[Anonymous]

I teach middle school. Honestly, in the middle schools this large, there are friends for everyone. Even the "odd" kids get a social group, with very few exceptions.

As a mom, my recommendation is to make your house a social hang out spot if possible. Invite the kids to hang out after school, to sleep over on weekends, to join you when your family goes to dinner. Get to know her friends, so you can share in her stories.