The HS years for SN kids

[Anonymous]

Sooo, my ds is 5. And we may be buying a house zoned for Wootton HS in MoCo in MD...not for the hs but bc we like the neighborhood and its location is good for us. On these boards "pressure cooker" has been used to describe that hs. I dont know anything about it from personal experience. When I think of my DS who has an IEP and processing delays along with other things, "pressure cooker" is not exactly how Id describe where Id want him to be but then again I dont know what kind of environment hed thrive in at that point. Or maybe "pressure cooker" would be good because there would be high expectations for him despite his challenges?? I dont know. I cant predict the future and I dont know how things will progress for him. And I get overwhelmed just thinking about it. Preschool years have not been easy.

To parents with young kids with SN, do you think about this at all and if so what are your thoughts?

To parents who have middle or hs age kids and your kids had SN from early on, how did you handle buying a house without knowing what kind of middle and hs environment would end up being best for your DC?

Im not asking for feedback directly about Wootton (unless of course you have feedback and want to share), but Im asking more in general about being zoned for a hs and worrying that it could potentially be the wrong environment for your kid since you dont know how things will shake out with your childs special needs.

[Anonymous]

I ask myself this every day with my 5 year old too op. Preschool has been a disaster and I'm terrified re k. I just don't know.

[Anonymous]

We bought a house in a mediocre school district rather than pay a lot more for one in a "better" district. The cost difference can be used to pay for private school if our child needs it.

[Anonymous]

I have a kid in HS. It's hard to predict any kid's development from age 5 to age 15, and even harder for a kid with some kind of special needs. Your child will probably mature in ways you can't imagine now; at the same time, in those 10 years you will probably confront challenges that you can't foresee.

All of which is to say that I don't think you can predict your child's needs this far out. You can only look at what his needs are now and in the immediate future, and try to make sure they are met. By the time high school rolls around you will know much better what would work for him, and you can plan to reassess every couple of years. You're not tied to living in that house forever.

As a public high school, there's a limit as to how much of a pressure cooker the school can be. They can't turn anyone away, and not all the children are above average. There will be choices that won't put him on the highest-pressure track. At the same time, a large public high school may not be the best environment for some SN kids, but you will know your own kid's strengths and weaknesses and can make that decision when you come to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid in HS. It's hard to predict any kid's development from age 5 to age 15, and even harder for a kid with some kind of special needs. Your child will probably mature in ways you can't imagine now; at the same time, in those 10 years you will probably confront challenges that you can't foresee.

All of which is to say that I don't think you can predict your child's needs this far out. You can only look at what his needs are now and in the immediate future, and try to make sure they are met. By the time high school rolls around you will know much better what would work for him, and you can plan to reassess every couple of years. You're not tied to living in that house forever.

As a public high school, there's a limit as to how much of a pressure cooker the school can be. They can't turn anyone away, and not all the children are above average. There will be choices that won't put him on the highest-pressure track. At the same time, a large public high school may not be the best environment for some SN kids, but you will know your own kid's strengths and weaknesses and can make that decision when you come to it.

Thanks PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought a house in a mediocre school district rather than pay a lot more for one in a "better" district. The cost difference can be used to pay for private school if our child needs it.

Smart!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask myself this every day with my 5 year old too op. Preschool has been a disaster and I'm terrified re k. I just don't know.

Too many things to think about with all this stuff ?

[Anonymous]

OP - buy the house if you like it and it suits your life now. Are you happy with the elementary school? Is it convenient for your work / your child's therapists (if any?) At this point that's all that matters.

You are buying into a nice area with strong schools. If you had to sell if ~10 years because the high school won't work -- you are unlikely to lose money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - buy the house if you like it and it suits your life now. Are you happy with the elementary school? Is it convenient for your work / your child's therapists (if any?) At this point that's all that matters.

You are buying into a nice area with strong schools. If you had to sell if ~10 years because the high school won't work -- you are unlikely to lose money.

Thanks. I have yet to tour the elem school and still trying to gather info on it quickly. Im hoping it would be good fit since the location works well for us in terms of commute etc.

[Anonymous]

I would pick a focus school over a W school as they have smaller classes and more funding.

[Anonymous]

Its hard not to worry, I feel like that's a lot of what we do with our SN kids. Try not to, it's so hard to predict the future. So many things can change between now and then, and your child will grow and each year he will improve and accomplish so many things and his needs will change. I think the PP moving into a mediocre district is a smart move so individual services are more affordable. You can also think creatively and if need be, rent a house in a district you like later on and rent your own house or sell. You may discover your child does better in a private school and then definitely opt for a cheaper neighborhood, etc. There are many options. My child is close to the end of middle school and I have been worrying so much for years so you're not alone. She's done surprisingly well in a small catholic school and we live in the Wooton HS district. I think the pressure cooker term refers to overachieving parents, many very smart Asian students, the GT program and the area in general. Hope that helps.

[Anonymous]

We bought a house in a W district before we knew my DC has special needs that impacts school performance. DH talks regularly of the pressure in the area and our school specifically and how it's negatively impacting our child. He wants to move but we have other children so it's not an easy decision. I don't disagree that our slightly below average performing child looks like a total failure in our elementary compared to most of the other kids. In many other districts he would not stand out so much.

[Anonymous]

OP here- just seeing these responses now. Thanks for your responses. To the PP, that is what Im worried about. Can you tell me how the classes and services/support has been for you child? Where would you move to if it was easier to move?

[Anonymous]

I think that its good that you are considering the school districts for your SN kiddo. See how the tour goes for the elementary school and that could give you an idea of the possible services available for your son. Good luck

[Anonymous]

We bought a house at the maximum we could afford in a highly sought out MCPS high school district before we had kids. We then had two kids with special needs.

The good news, our house has tripled in value since we bought it. The bad news, it has been very stressful at times trying to find the financial resources to pay for private tutors, advocates, lawyers, and testing services our children needed. Grandparents donated money at times just so we could stop fighting with MCPS and get privately what our children needed. I often wonder in a less sought out school cluster, would we have the same problems? Because of our zip code, we were often treated like "Well, you live in ----- so you must be able to afford to pay for xyz". Sometimes, school administrators would even us lists of private places to go for services or say I think your child has xyz but they need educational testing that the school can't do.

After attending support meetings with other SN parents, I think MCPS is broken throughout the county. You get what you can get, but you need to plan on having financial resources set aside for what your child will need but MCPS will not provide. This will be the case in whatever school cluster you move to.