Your bedtime vs spouse's bedtime
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Anonymous
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DW usually goes to bed around 10pm while I stay up until midnight. Does anybody else have a similar difference in bedtime? I sometimes like the time to myself after she is in bed, but it is often lonely. This loneliness leads to too much time online, too much porn and generally feeling less engaged with DW.
Initiating sex can't be as spontaneous because we aren't in bed awake at the same time. We both wake up around 7am, so there's no schedule driven reason for her to go to bed that early. |
Anonymous
| Go to bed earlier..... |
Anonymous
| Yeah, at least get in bed together some nights. If she falls asleep, then you can get back up, but making the effort of going to bed together helps. |
Anonymous
| Go to bed at 10pm with her, have sex, and then read in bed/play on your phone/do whatever until your actual bedtime |
Anonymous
| If she needs nine hours of sleep to be well rested, she has a reason to go to bed early. If you're just farting around online and wanking from boredom, one could just as easily say there's no reason for you to stay up so late. Try going to bed with her, or even asking her to come to bed with you 15 minutes before her bedtime. (I get annoyed if DH waits until I'm in bed, trying to fall asleep before trying to make a move. I accept his advances, and afterward I ask him to start earlier next time.) |
Anonymous
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Maybe she needs more sleep than you do. Duh.
DH and I usually get into bed within a half hour of each other. Maybe I go shower and get ready for bed while he's closing the house down, giving the dog a final walk, and going through mail. |
Anonymous
100% this. I work a demanding job and go to the gym or go running every day, so I need a good night's sleep to have energy the next day. Midnight is not happening. I'm down for sex a few times a week, but it'll be at 9 or 10 when I'm in bed. Take it or leave it, LOL. |
Anonymous
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I think it's kind of sad that you get lonely in two hours, and that you're blaming your wife for your porn problem.
Get therapy to learn how to be an adult. |
Anonymous
| We always go to bed at about the same time - 10:30 or so. I fall asleep within minutes (non sex nights) and he will watch TV or read. Neither of us likes it if one of us has gone to bed without telling the other. |
Anonymous
DH stays up later than I do most nights, but often we engage in a flirty "discussion" around my bedtime about whether he's going to follow me. It works for us. 
If he wants to come to bed at the same time as I do, often after we spend time together, we'll both end up reading in bed, or he'll go back downstairs to watch tv or whatever. |
Anonymous
| Who needs 9 hours to sleep. Let me guess she has a nanny helping out too. Spoiled princess. |
Anonymous
You're an unpleasant person in real life, aren't you? |
Anonymous
I need it. My DH doesn't. I don't have a nanny, a housekeeper, a pool boy (or a pool). I do have a full time job and three kids. |
Anonymous
| I used to love bedtime when DW an I had a sex life. After DS arrived, however, DW lost all interest in sex. I now go to bed before either DW or DS. |
Anonymous
wtf. Get off your lazy ass and help put DS to bed too. I wouldn't want to have sex with you either if you're sleeping before. |