The right answer to the "Why are you leaving?" interview question

[Anonymous]

The real reason is work/life. I have young kids and a life; 40 hours of outside work plus commute is enough. I'm a contractor. The work is interesting and I love the people I work with but I just can't muster the strength to come up with extra 5-10 hours of high quality, focused, creative work each week for company initiatives. I'm an anomaly around here - I'm just not someone with enough strength and drive to pull it all off awesomely. My health, marriage and parenting are slowly but surely deteriorating, and I'm not even putting in the extra hours at work - but certainly stressing over the fact that I'm not. In spite of not having nearly the time or energy normally required for a job search, I have been fortunate to land a couple of interviews in the past few months, though they were not for jobs I really wanted but I suspect I'll have this opportunity again soon.

So I basically want a normal 40 hour a week job. I might feel differently if I got paid OT, because then I'd be able to afford outsourcing some of the chores that currently take up my time at home. I make under 50k so I really can't outsource much now.

Work/life is really the one thing that compels me to leave the company. I really can't think of anything else to say that wouldn't be a lie.

If I said it's not so much about leaving the company, but about pursuing this opportunity with the new company, would that be ok? But everyone says that, right? Interviewers must see right through it.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Moving from contractor to in-house is super common, IME. I would assume an in-house option appealed to you simply because it's better, so just about any explanation would do the job.

"This opportunity really stood out to me because XYZ"

"I've learned a great deal in my current position and feel ready to take on a new challenge, applying those skills to in a new area/ with a new firm"

"After years of consulting in the ABC industry, I'm excited to move in-house and actually execute on all these ideas I've been working with for the past 5 years"

[Anonymous]

Be honest. If more people tell a company "I'm leaving for a role at a firm with a better work/life balance" then eventually that company will say "Hmm, we keep losing good people - we need to see what other companies are providing that we're not, in order to stay competitive."

My former coworker gave the world's best exit interview. She flat out said, "I am leaving because I am moving to a different city where I already have accepted a job at a firm that will pay me $5k more and the cost of living is such that I will be able to buy a home, which is something I won't ever be able to afford here. Also, I have having to work with Chris - every SINGLE time he picks up the IT Helpline he always says he doesn't know how to fix that but will look into it and call me back and never does. Lastly, I hate working with Tara - she acts like she's better than everyone else."

Guess what? Chris no longer answers the Helpline and they gave him a different role in the firm and hired someone else to answer who's great.

[Anonymous]

But what happened to Tara?

[Anonymous]

I think OP is asking about job interviews, not exit interviews.

Also, it makes no sense to do an exit interview like the PP said. I can guarantee you that Chris was being eyed for a demotion regardless of what your friend said on the way out. Companies don't use bitchy info from an exit interview because by bitching about people on the way out, you're effectively saying you're leaving because you don't like it here. Which is effectively drawing a line between you and the person interviewing you -- and they're going to double down on their loyalty to the company in response to your complaining. So now anything you're saying is coming from a quitter/enemy of the company, and no one likes to take criticism from an enemy. The only thing exit interview bitching does is burn bridges.

It's different if you have a really good working relationship with your boss or someone else and tell them why you're leaving (I'm finding the work life balance tough, I found these interactions difficult) outside the context of an official exit interview. That's the kind of constructive criticism that might get up the chain.

All that said, my first job out of college I had an exit interview where I complained about my boss and how he asked me my age and marital status in the interview a year prior, and I heard that the whole (small) company was required to do some kind of ethics gender training a month later. Ha! But I also bitched that the job was ridiculous and took about 5 hours a month of work which could be accomplished by a contractor or intern. I was the third hiree in three years. However, 3 years later (the last I'd stayed in touch), they'd gone through 3 more people. Clearly there is something wrong with this role, but my exit interview didn't help a lick.

[Anonymous]

The best answer I ever got was, "I'm bored. I've learned everything my current job has to teach me. I've taken to filling my time with organizing bookshelves and old files. (The old employer was small and no advancement opportunity).

Obviously that won't work in every scenario.

[Anonymous]

Focus on the positive. You enjoy the people you work with and find the work interesting, but the new position sounded like an even more interesting opportunity because of X, Y and Z.

Sure, we've all had less than ideal commutes or bosses or work-life balance. Every new employer has likely had those too. But in my experience people don't want to hear a lot about that in an interview. They want to know that you're qualified for the job and that you are a good fit for the company.

I think work-life balance is one of the hardest things to tease out in an interview. Hopefully through your professional network, you have some inside information on the potential new job. Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

Focus on what you're looking for, why you think the new opportunity fits, and not so much why you're leaving your current position.

I just went through a huge (pretty successful) job search in Nov.-Jan., and I used the above tactic.

FWIW, the job that turned out to be the best fit (and the one I ended up taking), was one that I talked about both personal and professional reasons.

It was something like, "I've been doing x for 15 years, but doing volunteer work in y, and I see my professional growth in that direction, which I think aligns perfectly with this position. Also, on a personal note, I just had a baby, so the idea of (in this case) stepping down / sideways in my career for a while really appeals to me and fits where I am in my life right now."

Anyway, I wanted to be a whole person in the interview, and figured that if that answer turned them off, it wouldn't be a good fit anyway.

What I didn't say: "Yeah, I returned from maternity leave to a batshit new boss who makes it impossible to balance my family demands, and I'm sick of putting out the fires he causes."