I'm a partner at a law firm and need some career advice

[Anonymous]

I think I would prefer to be one of the following:

Director of a federal agency
Brain surgeon
Fashion designer
Astronaut

Please give me concrete advice on how to achieve my goals.

[Anonymous]

I'd definitely go with astronaut. Are you under 30 and willing to go to Mars? If so, I'd say law is your hook bc someone will need to write up the first draft of the Prime Directive.

Steps you can take:
1) learn the names of the planets (focus on the fake one the farthest away, that's a trick NASA throws in to weed out the good candidates from bad).
2) start going to Neil Degrasse Tyson talks and bring your business cards. Try to wear something that will help you stand out like Leah cinnamon bun hair.
3) if you aren't in shape, you should start
4) you need to practice space eating. Hang all your food from a string in your kitchen anive your seat and try to eat it while suspended.

In all seriousness, I'm mid-40s, been with my firm 16 years and understand it can be tough. And there's zero 'shame' in leaving. It is a tough slog if you stick it out long term.

[Anonymous]

Think this is a joke, but if not:
save your butt off for the next few years- like stop buying the big fat cars, sell the second home, forgo the multiple European vacations. Amass $5M in investable assets. Then quit. Basically early retirement.
Then you can do/be whatever the heck you want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd definitely go with astronaut. Are you under 30 and willing to go to Mars? If so, I'd say law is your hook bc someone will need to write up the first draft of the Prime Directive.

Steps you can take:
1) learn the names of the planets (focus on the fake one the farthest away, that's a trick NASA throws in to weed out the good candidates from bad).
2) start going to Neil Degrasse Tyson talks and bring your business cards. Try to wear something that will help you stand out like Leah cinnamon bun hair.
3) if you aren't in shape, you should start
4) you need to practice space eating. Hang all your food from a string in your kitchen anive your seat and try to eat it while suspended.

In all seriousness, I'm mid-40s, been with my firm 16 years and understand it can be tough. And there's zero 'shame' in leaving. It is a tough slog if you stick it out long term.

This is hilarious. Next time I need career advice I'm coming to DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I would prefer to be one of the following:

Director of a federal agency
Brain surgeon
Fashion designer
Astronaut

Please give me concrete advice on how to achieve my goals.

(1) Show up and say that you deserve to be director bc you are a partner and better than a government bureaucrat.
(2) Study hard for MCATs and take necessary prerequisites for years. You may not be smart enough, though, and are losing more brain cells as you age.
(3) Probably not going to be a fashion designer -- most female law partners are not fashionable
(4) Astronaut -- See #2 re intelligence, supra.

[Anonymous]

Law is not bad if you view it as an absurd, pointless joke, for the most part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Law is not bad if you view it as an absurd, pointless joke, for the most part.

This is the secret to life in DC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would prefer to be one of the following:

Director of a federal agency
Brain surgeon
Fashion designer
Astronaut

Please give me concrete advice on how to achieve my goals.

(1) Show up and say that you deserve to be director bc you are a partner and better than a government bureaucrat.
(2) Study hard for MCATs and take necessary prerequisites for years. You may not be smart enough, though, and are losing more brain cells as you age.
(3) Probably not going to be a fashion designer -- most female law partners are not fashionable
(4) Astronaut -- See #2 re intelligence, supra.

This is good advice for anyone seeking to move from the private sector into the Federal government. Government bureaucrats love being told that they are too stupid to do the job that someone earning twice as much with three times the resources and a quarter the public scrutiny can do. Bonus points if you work in a sector that benefits from outsize corporate welfare and then complain about government waste and incompetence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Law is not bad if you view it as an absurd, pointless joke, for the most part.

This is the secret to life in DC!

Truth!

[Anonymous]

If Ben Carson can become secretary of HUD, there's no reason you can't become a brain surgeon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If Ben Carson can become secretary of HUD, there's no reason you can't become a brain surgeon.

Or Trump can become President - anyone can become anything they want. No qualifications needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think this is a joke, but if not:
save your butt off for the next few years- like stop buying the big fat cars, sell the second home, forgo the multiple European vacations. Amass $5M in investable assets. Then quit. Basically early retirement.
Then you can do/be whatever the heck you want

Or buy a big house as my friend did and become near-suicidal and start banging an associate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Law is not bad if you view it as an absurd, pointless joke, for the most part.

True. BigLaw tends to attract people who take it completely seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd definitely go with astronaut. Are you under 30 and willing to go to Mars? If so, I'd say law is your hook bc someone will need to write up the first draft of the Prime Directive.

Steps you can take:
1) learn the names of the planets (focus on the fake one the farthest away, that's a trick NASA throws in to weed out the good candidates from bad).
2) start going to Neil Degrasse Tyson talks and bring your business cards. Try to wear something that will help you stand out like Leah cinnamon bun hair.
3) if you aren't in shape, you should start
4) you need to practice space eating. Hang all your food from a string in your kitchen anive your seat and try to eat it while suspended.

In all seriousness, I'm mid-40s, been with my firm 16 years and understand it can be tough. And there's zero 'shame' in leaving. It is a tough slog if you stick it out long term.

This post is a thing of beauty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Law is not bad if you view it as an absurd, pointless joke, for the most part.

+1