22 month old screaming at bedtime for hours

[Anonymous]

My son has been sleeping through the night since he was 16 weeks old. We've never dealt with any regressions or teething issues...

Until now.

He's 22 months and for the past 2 weeks he has been screaming and crying when we put him in his crib. He claws at our arms and neck and cries "mama!" It BREAKS MY HEART. I know we aren't supposed to create a "long term problem" for a phase...like, we can't start bringing him into our bed, but this is so hard. I'm laying in bed crying and typing this while he screams.

We've tried an earlier bedtime, later bedtime, night light, door open, etc. He is not sick. He is not teething. It's been two weeks of bedtime tantrums. We go back and forth between tough love and coddling.

It's like the saddest most awful tantrum. We don't know if we should pick him up and rock him, or ignore him completely...?

Sometimes when we go check him and settle him down it works and he lays down. Other times it backfires and makes him cry harder when we leave.

HELP.

[Anonymous]

How long is he crying for?

[Anonymous]

Who all is with him during the daytime?

[Anonymous]

Go get your baby. After he's settled, tomorrow, figure out does he have an ear infection?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go get your baby. After he's settled, tomorrow, figure out does he have an ear infection?

And do what? I hold him, but as soon as I stand up to put him in his crib he screams. I just did this for the last hour.

He does not have an ear infection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has been sleeping through the night since he was 16 weeks old. We've never dealt with any regressions or teething issues...

Until now.

He's 22 months and for the past 2 weeks he has been screaming and crying when we put him in his crib. He claws at our arms and neck and cries "mama!" It BREAKS MY HEART. I know we aren't supposed to create a "long term problem" for a phase...like, we can't start bringing him into our bed, but this is so hard. I'm laying in bed crying and typing this while he screams.

We've tried an earlier bedtime, later bedtime, night light, door open, etc. He is not sick. He is not teething. It's been two weeks of bedtime tantrums. We go back and forth between tough love and coddling.

It's like the saddest most awful tantrum. We don't know if we should pick him up and rock him, or ignore him completely...?

Sometimes when we go check him and settle him down it works and he lays down. Other times it backfires and makes him cry harder when we leave.

HELP.

This is the issue. Intermittent reinforcement is so powerful. Your child needs you to be loving and firm, and most of all, consistent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long is he crying for?

He settles down after about 45-50 minutes, probably from exhaustion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has been sleeping through the night since he was 16 weeks old. We've never dealt with any regressions or teething issues...

Until now.

He's 22 months and for the past 2 weeks he has been screaming and crying when we put him in his crib. He claws at our arms and neck and cries "mama!" It BREAKS MY HEART. I know we aren't supposed to create a "long term problem" for a phase...like, we can't start bringing him into our bed, but this is so hard. I'm laying in bed crying and typing this while he screams.

We've tried an earlier bedtime, later bedtime, night light, door open, etc. He is not sick. He is not teething. It's been two weeks of bedtime tantrums. We go back and forth between tough love and coddling.

It's like the saddest most awful tantrum. We don't know if we should pick him up and rock him, or ignore him completely...?

Sometimes when we go check him and settle him down it works and he lays down. Other times it backfires and makes him cry harder when we leave.

HELP.

This is the issue. Intermittent reinforcement is so powerful. Your child needs you to be loving and firm, and most of all, consistent.

So then we either close the door and leave him, and not respond to any cry, or respond and do timed Ferber checks?

[Anonymous]

I'm the same old tiresome poster who says let him sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor of your room. He wants to be near you. It won't last forever. And if everyone gets more sleep, then it is a win.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you have a family bed. Or put his crib right next to your side of the bed?
This is a very smart human. Humans are not meant to be caged and put five miles
away from a mother in a dark room away from you.
Is this so hard to understand? He just want you. Mother, at his side,
for protection and safety. Children who sleeps next to their parents
are happier, smarter and have greater sense of security.

Baby animals sleep next to their moms. This is just as nature intended.
Would you like to sleep away from your husband far far away in the dark
end of the house? To this little baby it is horrific experience.
His brain is big enough to understand and he feels the horror.
You can damage him for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long is he crying for?

He settles down after about 45-50 minutes, probably from exhaustion.

When you think about it, don't you feel that it is a child abuse,
although it is legal, it should not be.
Child's needs are not met, he needs you. period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the same old tiresome poster who says let him sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor of your room. He wants to be near you. It won't last forever. And if everyone gets more sleep, then it is a win.

I'm the one who said get your baby. I agree. Everyone needs to sleep and not be fried at bedtime. Do what you need to do so everyone sleeps.

[Anonymous]

We went through this a couple months ago with my now 24 month old. It was horrible, but it did pass. I tried all kinds of things and eventually just gave into the fact that it was a stage she was going through and I needed to do what I needed to do to calm her. I ended up sitting next to her crib for a few nights. After awhile, I realized my presence wasn't helpful anymore so I left the room with five minute checks which I stretched out every night. After a couple of weeks, she started sleeping better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you have a family bed. Or put his crib right next to your side of the bed?
This is a very smart human. Humans are not meant to be caged and put five miles
away from a mother in a dark room away from you.
Is this so hard to understand? He just want you. Mother, at his side,
for protection and safety. Children who sleeps next to their parents
are happier, smarter and have greater sense of security.

Baby animals sleep next to their moms. This is just as nature intended.
Would you like to sleep away from your husband far far away in the dark
end of the house? To this little baby it is horrific experience.
His brain is big enough to understand and he feels the horror.
You can damage him for life.

I agree with most of this. If it hurts your heart to hear it, how must he feel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who all is with him during the daytime?

+1
And does he sleep well for naps?