My mom wants to wear white to my wedding.
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I asked my Mom to please buy a silver or grey dress over a month ago to complement the color scheme, which is coral and grey.
I asked her today if she bought her dress, she said no and that she's going with a cream or coral. I asked her to please choose a different color to not match with the bridesmaids or me. By the way, I've had suspicions my mom has narcissist personality traits. She's been this way all my life. Naturally oppositional and slighting. She had some particularly nasty things to say to me when I got engaged and has been single handedly the biggest headache of my wedding planning. I don't want to go into details but she's been anything but supportive and instead very passive aggressive and unsupportive. |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry she's giving you a hard time, but I wouldn't waste emotional energy on her dress. No one's going to mistake her for the bride! |
Anonymous
| Instead of picking a couple of colors for her- give her a couple of colors NOT to pick. Like cream and coral. Who cares if she stands out, as long as she doesn't match? |
Anonymous
|
If she wears cream everyone will think she's an asshole or at least super-clueless. They'll spend five seconds thinking about it and then go back to focusing on you. I wouldn't sweat it.
If you want to make one last attempt, Coral and gray are not colors that look good on me, fwiw, so if she claims they don't look good on her, that might be true. But she should suck it up and wear them anyway! |
Anonymous
| "Mom, if gray or silver doesn't work for you, that's fine. But here's what's NOT fine: cream, white or coral. Pick any color but those three colors. I don't want you to match me or my bridesmaids. That's final. I look forward to seeing you looking lovely in another color." |
Anonymous
| Only virgins wear white your mom had sex to make you |
Anonymous
| Let her look like an inconsiderate ass if she insists. |
Anonymous
|
Why do you keep engaging her?
You told her what color dress to get? Come on OP, stop being a victim here. You know you have a narcissistic mother. She keeps showing you who she is with her nasty comments. So simply stop engaging. The only way to deal with a narcissist is to cut your contact with them down to the smallest amount possible. Don't engage them in conversations or ask questions. Be polite. Answer questions in the fewest words possible. |
Anonymous
|
Yeah OP, My MIL wore black to my Spring afternoon garden wedding. More than a few people raised their eyebrows. I just told her how lovely she looked and proceeded to have a good time.
Ignore, ignore, ignore. Do not give her the satisfaction of a reaction. |
Anonymous
|
Why can't she wear coral? My mom wore light blue, my bridesmaid wore navy blue, my MIL wore royal blue, my step-mom wore navy blue, and a few guests wore shades of blue.
It was fine. |
Anonymous
| Why do you care so much? My MIL wore cream/champagne. Who cares? Everyone knows she gave birth to my DH and SILs. |
Anonymous
Uep |
Anonymous
+10 She'll be the one that looks ridiculous and inconsiderate and you'll look like an understanding bride. |
Anonymous
| Let it go. It's not worth expending emotional energy over. |
Anonymous
|
Op here, well I definitely gave her a reaction unfortunately. I wasn't rude, but she's not calling or emailing me back.
Also, mother of the brides are supposed to complement the bride and bridesmaids, not match. It's the standard etiquette. |