Married but you or spouse fell in love with someone?

[Anonymous]

Nothing happened but infatuation/love affected them for a long time and you knew about it. Would you just let it go? How?

[Anonymous]

You are all immature

[Anonymous]

Is it over? How has it affected your relationship?

[Anonymous]

this is probably not that rare but big difference between a crush and someone really being heartbroken about someone else

[Anonymous]

Falling in love doesn't happen by accident. By "nothing happened" I guess you mean sex didn't happen, because for love to develop, an emotional affair is required.

[Anonymous]

I kicked him out.

He moved in with her.

Realized she was crazy.

Begged forgiveness.

I gave it the ole' college try.

Then I divorced him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Falling in love doesn't happen by accident. By "nothing happened" I guess you mean sex didn't happen, because for love to develop, an emotional affair is required.

+1.

Falling in love takes time, unlike an ONS.

Did your spouse actually tell you s/he loved someone else?

[Anonymous]

You can get to know someone and develop feelings without an emotional affair. It's more infatuation though if you don't have an opportunity to experience them in different contexts. That could be harder to get over because you idealize them.

Still you could get to know someone fairly well without an emotional affair and develop feelings for them -- like a work colleague or a doctor that you see more frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can get to know someone and develop feelings without an emotional affair. It's more infatuation though if you don't have an opportunity to experience them in different contexts. That could be harder to get over because you idealize them.

Still you could get to know someone fairly well without an emotional affair and develop feelings for them -- like a work colleague or a doctor that you see more frequently.

If there is love, yes, there's an EA.

If there's unrequited love, the in-love person still let it get to a level it should not have. You can see the path you're heading down- alter the course or remove yourself from the situation. Take responsibility for your own actions.

[Anonymous]

What would do if the DID remove themselves from the situation and you could tell they couldn't get over it. Would you just ignore it? It is a tough situation.

[Anonymous]

OP- what are you trying to say? Did your spouse have an affair and is now unable to let his/her lover go? How? Depressed? Sulking? Crying over the failed affair?

Think you need to provide more detail as to what you're dealing with.

[Anonymous]

Limerance?

[Anonymous]

Well. I did. Neither of us have just let it go. How do you let that go? It is dissolving, perhaps. But there was a reason I fell in love with somebody else -- and those reasons don't get fixed overnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well. I did. Neither of us have just let it go. How do you let that go? It is dissolving, perhaps. But there was a reason I fell in love with somebody else -- and those reasons don't get fixed overnight.

Correction: the character you have that made you seek attention outside your marriage won't get fixed overnight, or ever.

[Anonymous]

This is one of those things people don't like to talk about. But it does happen even without emotional affair or physical. How could a spouse just ignore it?