Married but you or spouse fell in love with someone?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I had an EA and fell in love with the AP. Nothing physical developed but it was on the way there. Spouse discovered the EA. Went to councilling. I was checked out from my marriage. I wasn't getting what I needed.

I love my spouse now, but still thing if the AP from time to time. Not as much as I did, but sometimes. They were more compatible for sure. I know if things were different and I was single, we would have had a wonderful relationship. That's the part that kills me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well. I did. Neither of us have just let it go. How do you let that go? It is dissolving, perhaps. But there was a reason I fell in love with somebody else -- and those reasons don't get fixed overnight.

Correction: the character you have that made you seek attention outside your marriage won't get fixed overnight, or ever.

And neither will the character that made you withold it from your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well. I did. Neither of us have just let it go. How do you let that go? It is dissolving, perhaps. But there was a reason I fell in love with somebody else -- and those reasons don't get fixed overnight.

Correction: the character you have that made you seek attention outside your marriage won't get fixed overnight, or ever.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I had an EA and fell in love with the AP. Nothing physical developed but it was on the way there. Spouse discovered the EA. Went to councilling. I was checked out from my marriage. I wasn't getting what I needed.

I love my spouse now, but still thing if the AP from time to time. Not as much as I did, but sometimes. They were more compatible for sure. I know if things were different and I was single, we would have had a wonderful relationship. That's the part that kills me.

For awhile. But after it wore off, what would happen? Sounds like you would have fallen out of love and done the same thing with someone else. It seems to be who you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I had an EA and fell in love with the AP. Nothing physical developed but it was on the way there. Spouse discovered the EA. Went to councilling. I was checked out from my marriage. I wasn't getting what I needed.

I love my spouse now, but still thing if the AP from time to time. Not as much as I did, but sometimes. They were more compatible for sure. I know if things were different and I was single, we would have had a wonderful relationship. That's the part that kills me.

Are you a man or woman? How long was the EA? And how did your spouse find out? Emails?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I had an EA and fell in love with the AP. Nothing physical developed but it was on the way there. Spouse discovered the EA. Went to councilling. I was checked out from my marriage. I wasn't getting what I needed.

I love my spouse now, but still thing if the AP from time to time. Not as much as I did, but sometimes. They were more compatible for sure. I know if things were different and I was single, we would have had a wonderful relationship. That's the part that kills me.

For awhile. But after it wore off, what would happen? Sounds like you would have fallen out of love and done the same thing with someone else. It seems to be who you are

I still think if the AP. It's because Indont see them anymore as to why I don't feel love for them as much. It was painful leaving their life. We had a good connection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I had an EA and fell in love with the AP. Nothing physical developed but it was on the way there. Spouse discovered the EA. Went to councilling. I was checked out from my marriage. I wasn't getting what I needed.

I love my spouse now, but still thing if the AP from time to time. Not as much as I did, but sometimes. They were more compatible for sure. I know if things were different and I was single, we would have had a wonderful relationship. That's the part that kills me.

Are you a man or woman? How long was the EA? And how did your spouse find out? Emails?

Texts and messages yes. We had discussed intimate details of our lives. Conversations weren't overtly sexual - like no nudes or "I'm going through do this to you" talk - but we saw each other a lot and once were alone together after a night of alcohol consumption. The feelings were hard to fight as was the urge. I left the situation as I knew what was going to happen.

[Anonymous]

PP - Are you a woman? And did you end it after your spouse found out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I had an EA and fell in love with the AP. Nothing physical developed but it was on the way there. Spouse discovered the EA. Went to councilling. I was checked out from my marriage. I wasn't getting what I needed.

I love my spouse now, but still thing if the AP from time to time. Not as much as I did, but sometimes. They were more compatible for sure. I know if things were different and I was single, we would have had a wonderful relationship. That's the part that kills me.

No you don't. Alternative history is seldom what we think it will be.

[Anonymous]

Lots of accusatory posts about the other spouse. What if you knew they had feelings but no emotional affair or sex. Would you just ignore it. Seems like few here would handle that that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I had an EA and fell in love with the AP. Nothing physical developed but it was on the way there. Spouse discovered the EA. Went to councilling. I was checked out from my marriage. I wasn't getting what I needed.

I love my spouse now, but still thing if the AP from time to time. Not as much as I did, but sometimes. They were more compatible for sure. I know if things were different and I was single, we would have had a wonderful relationship. That's the part that kills me.

No you don't. Alternative history is seldom what we think it will be.

Bingo

[Anonymous]

I know a couple this happened to. They nearly broke up, took off rings, but eventually the couple reconciled. Don't know at all how the wife really feels about it. She seems kind of relieved and thrilled. I don't think I could be as ... accommodating, but hard to know what goes on with other people.