Isolated and overwhelmed

[Anonymous]

Hi all- Im coming here after my childs IEP meeting in which Im feeling extremely overwhelmed and I have no one to turn to, to help me process or to just talk to. I dont like talking to my mom and sisters in detail bc they dont fully understand any of it. My husband and I are fighting. I have no time to go to a therapist. I dont know what to do

[Anonymous]

Unload on us- we have all been through it and are here for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi all- Im coming here after my childs IEP meeting in which Im feeling extremely overwhelmed and I have no one to turn to, to help me process or to just talk to. I dont like talking to my mom and sisters in detail bc they dont fully understand any of it. My husband and I are fighting. I have no time to go to a therapist. I dont know what to do

Hang in there mom. I feel your pain. It feels hard because it is. Nothing to do but feel what you feel. Go to sleep, and try again tomorrow. Your DC is and will continue to mature, grow and improve with your care and guidance. Say that over and over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unload on us- we have all been through it and are here for you!

Thanks PP. I just dont know how to go thru this phase of life positively with these constant meetings and reminders of negative things. Always having to worry about the next step and future but worst of all the pressure I put on myself- not knowing if we are doing the right things, living in the right place, giving him the best opportunities. Its so hard to just be present in life with it always on my mind and on my shoulders.

[Anonymous]

You can't worry about the future. Are you doing everything you can right now? If so you're a rockstar. More likely you've been put in a situation you could not have prepared for and yet you are growing and learning daily with your son. We aren't born knowing everything but if you think of how far you've already come, you'll probably be amazed. The teachers are also learning but often don't know how to say the right things. Iep meetings are miserable. Hearing about his current levels probably hurts, but you've got this and so does he. A little each day.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Same exact situation as you OP. Going thro school testing and IEP hell. Can't stop worrying. I don't think my husband understands the gravity of the situation. We do ST, OT and have a dev pediatrician, a psychologist, and an ed consultant. Now adding social skills. I work with my child on things everyday. I don't know what else I can do. But this is our life. It's draining and exhausting. Progress is slow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't worry about the future. Are you doing everything you can right now? If so you're a rockstar. More likely you've been put in a situation you could not have prepared for and yet you are growing and learning daily with your son. We aren't born knowing everything but if you think of how far you've already come, you'll probably be amazed. The teachers are also learning but often don't know how to say the right things. Iep meetings are miserable. Hearing about his current levels probably hurts, but you've got this and so does he. A little each day.

Thanks so much for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi all- Im coming here after my childs IEP meeting in which Im feeling extremely overwhelmed and I have no one to turn to, to help me process or to just talk to. I dont like talking to my mom and sisters in detail bc they dont fully understand any of it. My husband and I are fighting. I have no time to go to a therapist. I dont know what to do

Hang in there mom. I feel your pain. It feels hard because it is. Nothing to do but feel what you feel. Go to sleep, and try again tomorrow. Your DC is and will continue to mature, grow and improve with your care and guidance. Say that over and over.

Thanks for your support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. Same exact situation as you OP. Going thro school testing and IEP hell. Can't stop worrying. I don't think my husband understands the gravity of the situation. We do ST, OT and have a dev pediatrician, a psychologist, and an ed consultant. Now adding social skills. I work with my child on things everyday. I don't know what else I can do. But this is our life. It's draining and exhausting. Progress is slow.

OP here- thanks for sharing. So hard feeling alone in this when the worrying and preoccupation with it is so much of our day-to-day life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't worry about the future. Are you doing everything you can right now? If so you're a rockstar. More likely you've been put in a situation you could not have prepared for and yet you are growing and learning daily with your son. We aren't born knowing everything but if you think of how far you've already come, you'll probably be amazed. The teachers are also learning but often don't know how to say the right things. Iep meetings are miserable. Hearing about his current levels probably hurts, but you've got this and so does he. A little each day.

This - totally.

You're doing an amazing job and your son is lucky to have you. And we're all lucky to have the resources of today, compared to 50 or 100 years ago.

You will get through it, your son will get through it, and everything will be ok. Just hang in there and be as kind to yourself as you'd like the world to be to your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't worry about the future. Are you doing everything you can right now? If so you're a rockstar. More likely you've been put in a situation you could not have prepared for and yet you are growing and learning daily with your son. We aren't born knowing everything but if you think of how far you've already come, you'll probably be amazed. The teachers are also learning but often don't know how to say the right things. Iep meetings are miserable. Hearing about his current levels probably hurts, but you've got this and so does he. A little each day.

This - totally.

You're doing an amazing job and your son is lucky to have you. And we're all lucky to have the resources of today, compared to 50 or 100 years ago.

You will get through it, your son will get through it, and everything will be ok. Just hang in there and be as kind to yourself as you'd like the world to be to your son.

That last line- what a great perspective. Thanks PP.

[Anonymous]

OP we are here for you. Let us help in any way we can via the net.

Also, it has made a difference for me to find some SN mom friends IRL. Is there any group at the school or local support group? They usually get it even if the disorders are different. Plus, it's fun to make fun of the whole situation and the rude players. (I don't make fun of the people who seem to truly care).

Wait till you disagree with something or advocate more...next IEP meeting there will be more school personnel. I am NOT saying this to scare you. I am saying this because it becomes so ridiculous, it's hilarious. They all cram into a room creating a fire hazard. I told my husband he should load up on beans so he can let out a big old fart in that tiny room. That'll teach them!

Sorry, clearly my child gets a warped sense of humor from me.

[Anonymous]

Posting again to say google "IEP humor." There is some great stuff that really helped me cope and keep a sense of humor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP we are here for you. Let us help in any way we can via the net.

Also, it has made a difference for me to find some SN mom friends IRL. Is there any group at the school or local support group? They usually get it even if the disorders are different. Plus, it's fun to make fun of the whole situation and the rude players. (I don't make fun of the people who seem to truly care).

Wait till you disagree with something or advocate more...next IEP meeting there will be more school personnel. I am NOT saying this to scare you. I am saying this because it becomes so ridiculous, it's hilarious. They all cram into a room creating a fire hazard. I told my husband he should load up on beans so he can let out a big old fart in that tiny room. That'll teach them!

Sorry, clearly my child gets a warped sense of humor from me.

haha thanks for the laugh

[Anonymous]

OP, I spent my first IEP meeting (8 years ago) fighting tears, thinking "This is not my life...this cannot be my life." No one likes IEP meetings. They are at best an insane kabuki dance of which 85% is meaningless bureaucratic bullshit.

Try to block out some time for yourself after the meeting for a pedicure, a nice lunch out, or whatever makes you feel good. We are all rooting for you.