Seperated and dating, do I call DH my husband or my ex-husband?

[Anonymous]

It's been 6 months living apart, and I've been having a lot of sex and making out for a few months. When I reference SOBDH, do I call him my husband or my ex-husband? I sometimes refer to him as my "ex," but it all sounds weird. Neither of us have even filed a separation agreement, though we've had some pretty nasty court battles over other things, which ate up bandwidth.

[Anonymous]

STBX?

[Anonymous]

Soon To Be X or STBX always bring Son Of The Bitch in my mind for some reason

[Anonymous]

If you are uncomfortable calling him your ex, it may be too soon to have sex with others.

[Anonymous]

For starters, drop the "D".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Soon To Be X or STBX always bring Son Of The Bitch in my mind for some reason

That's not what that means? Whoops, I read a lot of threads with a different take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are uncomfortable calling him your ex, it may be too soon to have sex with others.

Let's not a couple of you start judging that fast. I know it's DCUM. I didn't say I was uncomfortable, but was asking what the appropriate word was. I've been calling him my ex, my ex-husband, and my husband, not sure what I should call him.

You have sex 4 times in 4 years and see where you end up when you move out of the house and it's agreed the marriage is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For starters, drop the "D".

Thank you. THANK YOU. I forgot what it means, but now I remember.

[Anonymous]

You call him your husband. That's what he is. You can't say you're separated, because you haven't filed for separation.

If I were dating a guy, and I later found out he was still married while we were dating and had lied to me about being separated, that would be the end of our relationship.

I don't know what you are fighting about in court with your current husband, but it's sort of irrelevant. He's your husband until you make a legal move otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are uncomfortable calling him your ex, it may be too soon to have sex with others.

Let's not a couple of you start judging that fast. I know it's DCUM. I didn't say I was uncomfortable, but was asking what the appropriate word was. I've been calling him my ex, my ex-husband, and my husband, not sure what I should call him.

You have sex 4 times in 4 years and see where you end up when you move out of the house and it's agreed the marriage is over.

Lady, I don't care how many people you bang. If you are having an emotional reaction to calling him your ex (which is what you indicated), then you may not be emotionally over the relationship. It has nothing to do with how many times you and your estranged husband had sex in the last decade, but you do sound like you're still hurt/angry/bitter about it. That, plus the fact you haven't filed for separation means you're not ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You call him your husband. That's what he is. You can't say you're separated, because you haven't filed for separation.

If I were dating a guy, and I later found out he was still married while we were dating and had lied to me about being separated, that would be the end of our relationship.

I don't know what you are fighting about in court with your current husband, but it's sort of irrelevant. He's your husband until you make a legal move otherwise.

Uh, if they're not living together, they are separated. It doesn't take a filing to make it so. OP just isn't 'legally' separated. I have no idea what your second sentence means. Any person who is separated is STILL married. It sounds like you don't date people who haven't divorced but who knows - or cares.

[Anonymous]

Soon to be ex-husband

[Anonymous]

Stop talking about him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You call him your husband. That's what he is. You can't say you're separated, because you haven't filed for separation.

If I were dating a guy, and I later found out he was still married while we were dating and had lied to me about being separated, that would be the end of our relationship.

I don't know what you are fighting about in court with your current husband, but it's sort of irrelevant. He's your husband until you make a legal move otherwise.

In the state of Maryland to be legally separated it's simply no sex and not living together.
OP- best of luck! I just initiated separation and divorce with my STBX last week and can't wait to get my sexy on! Too many years of a sexless marriage and a lot of time to make up for it.

[Anonymous]

Future ex