Seperated and dating, do I call DH my husband or my ex-husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's been 6 months living apart, and I've been having a lot of sex and making out for a few months. When I reference SOBDH, do I call him my husband or my ex-husband? I sometimes refer to him as my "ex," but it all sounds weird. Neither of us have even filed a separation agreement, though we've had some pretty nasty court battles over other things, which ate up bandwidth.

Just reference him by name - don't give him a title. It's as neutral as you can get.

Kind of like a child calling her parent by their first name instead of dad or mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You call him your husband. That's what he is. You can't say you're separated, because you haven't filed for separation.

If I were dating a guy, and I later found out he was still married while we were dating and had lied to me about being separated, that would be the end of our relationship.

I don't know what you are fighting about in court with your current husband, but it's sort of irrelevant. He's your husband until you make a legal move otherwise.

Uh, if they're not living together, they are separated. It doesn't take a filing to make it so. OP just isn't 'legally' separated. I have no idea what your second sentence means. Any person who is separated is STILL married. It sounds like you don't date people who haven't divorced but who knows - or cares.

Because a separation that hasn't been filed for isn't really a sign of an end of a relationship. If a guy tells me they are separated but he hasn't gotten around to filing...I would end the relationship too as that says to me he is a married man trying to figure out if he wants to stay married or not. I don't want a relationship with someone who is marreid but tryng out single life to see what they like better.

I divorced in VA. Never had to file for separation, my attorney said me moving out of the marital home and attesting to not having had sexual relations was sufficient.

[Anonymous]

You can also go with "my children's father" if ex sounds too weird to you right now. Or just use his name. You shouldn't be talking about him that much to your dates, so either of these will work.