Anyone's slacker teen feel entitled to an exciting spring break?

[Anonymous]

Our DS was invited on a spring break with his best friend's family (we'd have to pay for plane ticket). Great kid, well-off family. But we said no because DS has been slacking. He currently thinks we're the worst parents in the world and refuses to reflect on the fact that his actions are why he's sitting home.

[Anonymous]

sounds fair.

[Anonymous]

Define slacking?

is he failing out of school?

[Anonymous]

Good for you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Define slacking?

is he failing out of school?

Of course not, he just sits on his ass too much. His friends, inc. the one who invited him, do not sit on their ass. Play a sport, volunteer, get a job, do something, anything. He's lazy and I'm not giving him a $1000 vacation for being lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you

Issue is the lesson isn't going to occur if he can't be introspective and realize it's his own fault. He just hates us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Define slacking?

is he failing out of school?

Of course not, he just sits on his ass too much. His friends, inc. the one who invited him, do not sit on their ass. Play a sport, volunteer, get a job, do something, anything. He's lazy and I'm not giving him a $1000 vacation for being lazy.

He has good grades... Do you volunteer, play a sport?

Why don't you volunteer as a family? Do things together?

[Anonymous]

Wow. Your kid has every reason to blame you for his miserable life. My guess is that he will never be good enough for you. You're just getting started aren't you? See you in a year or two on here saying how your kid isn't going to college on your dime because his grades weren't high enough. I hope he gets away from you and finds peace and happiness with someone who appreciates him.

[Anonymous]

Did you try and give him an opportunity to earn it? My teen got inherited invited on a ski trip once and the lift tickets were going to cost about 600 dollars. We had 17 days notice. He worked off the majority of the money in 2 weeks. I paid him 10 bucks an hour. I had him paint my moms basement, take off my kitchen hardware and replace it with more modern stuff, he painted our garage door, and then did 2- 4 hour visits at the food bank. I left him work off the rest of it when he got home. He can be lazy but he wanted to go and it was a good lesson to me not to underestimate him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you try and give him an opportunity to earn it? My teen got inherited invited on a ski trip once and the lift tickets were going to cost about 600 dollars. We had 17 days notice. He worked off the majority of the money in 2 weeks. I paid him 10 bucks an hour. I had him paint my moms basement, take off my kitchen hardware and replace it with more modern stuff, he painted our garage door, and then did 2- 4 hour visits at the food bank. I left him work off the rest of it when he got home. He can be lazy but he wanted to go and it was a good lesson to me not to underestimate him.

ugh so many typos...46 and i phones don't mix.

[Anonymous]

And you can say, "no" just to say no. It doesn't have to be punishment
Your call of course but no parent needs a reason or owes their kid an explanation for saying no

[Anonymous]

I hate that kind of punishment. Why not outline clear, positive things he can do to earn the trip? And not letting him go is a bummer to the other family, who extended a generous invitation and is probably looking forward to having a friend for their kid on the trip.

I find that it works better to come from a place of yes, and figure out a way to get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate that kind of punishment. Why not outline clear, positive things he can do to earn the trip? And not letting him go is a bummer to the other family, who extended a generous invitation and is probably looking forward to having a friend for their kid on the trip.

I find that it works better to come from a place of yes, and figure out a way to get there.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate that kind of punishment. Why not outline clear, positive things he can do to earn the trip? And not letting him go is a bummer to the other family, who extended a generous invitation and is probably looking forward to having a friend for their kid on the trip.

I find that it works better to come from a place of yes, and figure out a way to get there.

Its not that generous if OP has to pay plane and other expenses. I wouldn't let my kid go on a trip like that. Its a lot of money for a kid where it is not a family vacation.

[Anonymous]

Not saying I agree with OP, but I absolutely would not factor the other family's feelings into this decision. If I say no, they can ask someone else.