Class fund non-participants: where do you think the party food comes from??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
+1 Every school my kids have been at (from private preschool to public elementary) has had some sort of monetary class group gift for the teacher. This isn't some bizarre invention by rogue room parents. Some parents also contribute in their own name.

I'm in FCPS, and neither of the public elementary schools my kids have attended have had class group gifts. In private preschool, class gifts were organized by the room mom, but it was no big deal to opt out and do your own thing. They just wouldn't sign your name on the group card. That's one of the reasons why I was wondering whether it's a wealthier area vs. a poorer area thing. One of my schools is Title I, and the other one isn't, but it's still a very diverse income area with a decent number of FARMS kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm sorry, but I just can't even fathom a school having teacher gift requirements for room parents to fulfill, either from donations or making up the difference themselves. The whole idea is so crazy to me. If the school wants teacher gifts, then the PTA should run some fundraiser events for that purpose. There shouldn't be any obligation for one parent to pester other parents for gift money.

Are all of the schools that do this in wealthier areas? I otherwise find required gifts in public schools difficult to believe.

It's not a requirement. It's customary at my kid's public school. Just like a class Halloween party isn't a requirement, but it's customary. Your school's practices are clearly different.

An earlier PP felt that it was expected for the class to give $150 gift cards for each of X-mas, teacher appreciation week, and the end of the year + another $50 for the teacher's birthday. Maybe I'm living on the wrong side of the train tracks here, but it's really weird to me to have so many gifts be 'customary' for room parents to provide. That PP expected $40 per kid for everything. If a school's customs require a room mom budget of $40 * 25 = $1000, then those customs seem quite excessive to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1 Every school my kids have been at (from private preschool to public elementary) has had some sort of monetary class group gift for the teacher. This isn't some bizarre invention by rogue room parents. Some parents also contribute in their own name.

I'm in FCPS, and neither of the public elementary schools my kids have attended have had class group gifts. In private preschool, class gifts were organized by the room mom, but it was no big deal to opt out and do your own thing. They just wouldn't sign your name on the group card. That's one of the reasons why I was wondering whether it's a wealthier area vs. a poorer area thing. One of my schools is Title I, and the other one isn't, but it's still a very diverse income area with a decent number of FARMS kids.

Different schools might do things differently. At my sons ES, the Room Moms have sent out an email before Winter Break, Teacher Appreciation Week, and the end of the year. They ask for donations for a class gift. They stress that it is all voluntary, there is not set dollar amount, and it is totally fine to not give anything or to give something individually. There was one reminder email, because people lose emails, and that was it. Chip in, don't chip in, whatever you want to do. There were no lists. We got a thank you email for contributing.

Parties are sign up genius.

But different schools have different cultures. I am happy with mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm sorry, but I just can't even fathom a school having teacher gift requirements for room parents to fulfill, either from donations or making up the difference themselves. The whole idea is so crazy to me. If the school wants teacher gifts, then the PTA should run some fundraiser events for that purpose. There shouldn't be any obligation for one parent to pester other parents for gift money.

Are all of the schools that do this in wealthier areas? I otherwise find required gifts in public schools difficult to believe.

It's not a requirement. It's customary at my kid's public school. Just like a class Halloween party isn't a requirement, but it's customary. Your school's practices are clearly different.

An earlier PP felt that it was expected for the class to give $150 gift cards for each of X-mas, teacher appreciation week, and the end of the year + another $50 for the teacher's birthday. Maybe I'm living on the wrong side of the train tracks here, but it's really weird to me to have so many gifts be 'customary' for room parents to provide. That PP expected $40 per kid for everything. If a school's customs require a room mom budget of $40 * 25 = $1000, then those customs seem quite excessive to me.

Well, I posted upthread about how the requested gift for the full year at my kid's fairly wealthy public school is 10$. So again, these customs are heterogeneous across schools, but in my school these group gifts are customary. I actually think they're nice, because then the teacher gets something from all the kids, irrespective of parental involvement or ability to donate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just for fun I went to Domino's website and saw how many 2 topping medium pizzas I could buy with op's budget

I could buy 23 pizzas for 137.77 after tax

So funny

Pizza hut is even cheaper than Domino's since they're doing 5 dollar pizzas now.

OP said she went to domino's though. How the F did she manage to screw this up so badly?

Did she ignore every possible deal and just try to pay 5x as much on purpose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just for fun I went to Domino's website and saw how many 2 topping medium pizzas I could buy with op's budget

I could buy 23 pizzas for 137.77 after tax

So funny

Pizza hut is even cheaper than Domino's since they're doing 5 dollar pizzas now.

OP said she went to domino's though. How the F did she manage to screw this up so badly?

Did she ignore every possible deal and just try to pay 5x as much on purpose?

And that's why other parents don't want to hand OP the money that she thinks she is owed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just for fun I went to Domino's website and saw how many 2 topping medium pizzas I could buy with op's budget

I could buy 23 pizzas for 137.77 after tax

So funny

Pizza hut is even cheaper than Domino's since they're doing 5 dollar pizzas now.

OP said she went to domino's though. How the F did she manage to screw this up so badly?

Did she ignore every possible deal and just try to pay 5x as much on purpose?

And that's why other parents don't want to hand OP the money that she thinks she is owed.

Its also why we don't trust her accounting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm sorry, but I just can't even fathom a school having teacher gift requirements for room parents to fulfill, either from donations or making up the difference themselves. The whole idea is so crazy to me. If the school wants teacher gifts, then the PTA should run some fundraiser events for that purpose. There shouldn't be any obligation for one parent to pester other parents for gift money.

Are all of the schools that do this in wealthier areas? I otherwise find required gifts in public schools difficult to believe.

It's not a requirement. It's customary at my kid's public school. Just like a class Halloween party isn't a requirement, but it's customary. Your school's practices are clearly different.

An earlier PP felt that it was expected for the class to give $150 gift cards for each of X-mas, teacher appreciation week, and the end of the year + another $50 for the teacher's birthday. Maybe I'm living on the wrong side of the train tracks here, but it's really weird to me to have so many gifts be 'customary' for room parents to provide. That PP expected $40 per kid for everything. If a school's customs require a room mom budget of $40 * 25 = $1000, then those customs seem quite excessive to me.

Well, I posted upthread about how the requested gift for the full year at my kid's fairly wealthy public school is 10$. So again, these customs are heterogeneous across schools, but in my school these group gifts are customary. I actually think they're nice, because then the teacher gets something from all the kids, irrespective of parental involvement or ability to donate.

+1 As room parent, I try to come by during lunch or at drop off and have every kid sign the card with the group gift card. So it looks like it's truly from everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But the basic issue is that even if you have moral objections to donations that pay for: pizza/treats/class parties/teacher gifts, most of the other parents are donating on your behalf. If you're fine with being free rider, carry on.

I don't know why I keep arguing on this thread, since I am someone who donates for everything. I just find your mentality really weird. I give the teachers gift cards for Xmas and end of year. Some people don't. I don't view my gift card as somehow donating on the behalf of people who don't give one. Likewise, for parties, I always sign up on signup genius to send in something. I'm sure there are parents who don't ever sign up. At my school, some of those parents can't afford it. Some don't speak English and don't even know what is requested. Some are just really busy. I couldn't care less that their kids are eating the grapes or drinking the juice I provided. It's really not a big deal. It's all voluntary, which means that I have the right to contribute or not as I see fit. Just because I choose to contribute doesn't give me any rights to decide what other people should contribute.

we're not talking about individual gift cards for teachers that are signed with your family's name. we're talking about "class gifts" which are gift cards for holiday or end of the year that are given on behalf of "the class". and when some people donate who can well afford to (no one is talking about the people who truly can't afford it), yes that is the definition of free riding.

If you're the one deciding that personal gifts are inadequate and that there must be a class gift, then people who choose to get their own gifts are not free riding. Instead, you're the one trying to boss other people around. There's no need for class gifts. If you decide that you simply must give a class gift, then feel free not to sign my kid's name on it. It's still not my problem that you're deciding how other people must gift the teacher, and they're not conforming to your desires.

Room parents don't unilaterally "decide" that there must be a class gift. It's customary at our Maryland public school to do so, and when you become a room parent, the room parent coordinator will tell you that typically parents use the funds for two teacher gifts and the class parties. All the people who hate group gifts can become room parents and upend this tradition if you hate it so much. (At my school, it's typically two fairly small gift cards from the class since our requested donation is small.)

+1 Every school my kids have been at (from private preschool to public elementary) has had some sort of monetary class group gift for the teacher. This isn't some bizarre invention by rogue room parents. Some parents also contribute in their own name.

This. But those who have never done it or asked about it just assume the room parent is electing to spend money on an unnecessary party or gift. It is not only expected at our school, we get a form email to send out at the beg. of the year that tells parents we are collecting for three gifts and two parties. The Fcps policy allows for two class parties per year. It’s beyond me why so many of you don’t get this. The only thing I can think of is that you’re either new to the elementary school scene or have not involved yourself in how it works at all. This is how it is done at lots of schools, every class, every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But the basic issue is that even if you have moral objections to donations that pay for: pizza/treats/class parties/teacher gifts, most of the other parents are donating on your behalf. If you're fine with being free rider, carry on.

I don't know why I keep arguing on this thread, since I am someone who donates for everything. I just find your mentality really weird. I give the teachers gift cards for Xmas and end of year. Some people don't. I don't view my gift card as somehow donating on the behalf of people who don't give one. Likewise, for parties, I always sign up on signup genius to send in something. I'm sure there are parents who don't ever sign up. At my school, some of those parents can't afford it. Some don't speak English and don't even know what is requested. Some are just really busy. I couldn't care less that their kids are eating the grapes or drinking the juice I provided. It's really not a big deal. It's all voluntary, which means that I have the right to contribute or not as I see fit. Just because I choose to contribute doesn't give me any rights to decide what other people should contribute.

we're not talking about individual gift cards for teachers that are signed with your family's name. we're talking about "class gifts" which are gift cards for holiday or end of the year that are given on behalf of "the class". and when some people donate who can well afford to (no one is talking about the people who truly can't afford it), yes that is the definition of free riding.

If you're the one deciding that personal gifts are inadequate and that there must be a class gift, then people who choose to get their own gifts are not free riding. Instead, you're the one trying to boss other people around. There's no need for class gifts. If you decide that you simply must give a class gift, then feel free not to sign my kid's name on it. It's still not my problem that you're deciding how other people must gift the teacher, and they're not conforming to your desires.

Room parents don't unilaterally "decide" that there must be a class gift. It's customary at our Maryland public school to do so, and when you become a room parent, the room parent coordinator will tell you that typically parents use the funds for two teacher gifts and the class parties. All the people who hate group gifts can become room parents and upend this tradition if you hate it so much. (At my school, it's typically two fairly small gift cards from the class since our requested donation is small.)

+1 Every school my kids have been at (from private preschool to public elementary) has had some sort of monetary class group gift for the teacher. This isn't some bizarre invention by rogue room parents. Some parents also contribute in their own name.

This. But those who have never done it or asked about it just assume the room parent is electing to spend money on an unnecessary party or gift. It is not only expected at our school, we get a form email to send out at the beg. of the year that tells parents we are collecting for three gifts and two parties. The Fcps policy allows for two class parties per year. It’s beyond me why so many of you don’t get this. The only thing I can think of is that you’re either new to the elementary school scene or have not involved yourself in how it works at all. This is how it is done at lots of schools, every class, every year.

+1 Same for us in MCPS, except we have 3 class parties and 2 teacher gifts. Not sure if the Focus schools (low-income) have this, but my kid's school has had this for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This. But those who have never done it or asked about it just assume the room parent is electing to spend money on an unnecessary party or gift. It is not only expected at our school, we get a form email to send out at the beg. of the year that tells parents we are collecting for three gifts and two parties. The Fcps policy allows for two class parties per year. It’s beyond me why so many of you don’t get this. The only thing I can think of is that you’re either new to the elementary school scene or have not involved yourself in how it works at all. This is how it is done at lots of schools, every class, every year.

It's also not done that way at lots of schools. My kids have attended 2 different FCPS schools, and we've been in the FCPS school scene for 6 years. No money has ever been collected for a group gift, and signup genius is used for all of the parties. Neither school has had room parents, and the PTA has handled the teacher appreciation week stuff. It all works wonderfully this way, so it's mind boggling to me that other schools need room parents, a bunch of group gifts, and requests for lots of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But the basic issue is that even if you have moral objections to donations that pay for: pizza/treats/class parties/teacher gifts, most of the other parents are donating on your behalf. If you're fine with being free rider, carry on.

I don't know why I keep arguing on this thread, since I am someone who donates for everything. I just find your mentality really weird. I give the teachers gift cards for Xmas and end of year. Some people don't. I don't view my gift card as somehow donating on the behalf of people who don't give one. Likewise, for parties, I always sign up on signup genius to send in something. I'm sure there are parents who don't ever sign up. At my school, some of those parents can't afford it. Some don't speak English and don't even know what is requested. Some are just really busy. I couldn't care less that their kids are eating the grapes or drinking the juice I provided. It's really not a big deal. It's all voluntary, which means that I have the right to contribute or not as I see fit. Just because I choose to contribute doesn't give me any rights to decide what other people should contribute.

we're not talking about individual gift cards for teachers that are signed with your family's name. we're talking about "class gifts" which are gift cards for holiday or end of the year that are given on behalf of "the class". and when some people donate who can well afford to (no one is talking about the people who truly can't afford it), yes that is the definition of free riding.

If you're the one deciding that personal gifts are inadequate and that there must be a class gift, then people who choose to get their own gifts are not free riding. Instead, you're the one trying to boss other people around. There's no need for class gifts. If you decide that you simply must give a class gift, then feel free not to sign my kid's name on it. It's still not my problem that you're deciding how other people must gift the teacher, and they're not conforming to your desires.

Room parents don't unilaterally "decide" that there must be a class gift. It's customary at our Maryland public school to do so, and when you become a room parent, the room parent coordinator will tell you that typically parents use the funds for two teacher gifts and the class parties. All the people who hate group gifts can become room parents and upend this tradition if you hate it so much. (At my school, it's typically two fairly small gift cards from the class since our requested donation is small.)

+1 Every school my kids have been at (from private preschool to public elementary) has had some sort of monetary class group gift for the teacher. This isn't some bizarre invention by rogue room parents. Some parents also contribute in their own name.

This. But those who have never done it or asked about it just assume the room parent is electing to spend money on an unnecessary party or gift. It is not only expected at our school, we get a form email to send out at the beg. of the year that tells parents we are collecting for three gifts and two parties. The Fcps policy allows for two class parties per year. It’s beyond me why so many of you don’t get this. The only thing I can think of is that you’re either new to the elementary school scene or have not involved yourself in how it works at all. This is how it is done at lots of schools, every class, every year.

What you don't understand is that there is no fee, tuition, payment, collection, dues, or whatever you want to call it that is required to attend a public school. You can't require anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But the basic issue is that even if you have moral objections to donations that pay for: pizza/treats/class parties/teacher gifts, most of the other parents are donating on your behalf. If you're fine with being free rider, carry on.

I don't know why I keep arguing on this thread, since I am someone who donates for everything. I just find your mentality really weird. I give the teachers gift cards for Xmas and end of year. Some people don't. I don't view my gift card as somehow donating on the behalf of people who don't give one. Likewise, for parties, I always sign up on signup genius to send in something. I'm sure there are parents who don't ever sign up. At my school, some of those parents can't afford it. Some don't speak English and don't even know what is requested. Some are just really busy. I couldn't care less that their kids are eating the grapes or drinking the juice I provided. It's really not a big deal. It's all voluntary, which means that I have the right to contribute or not as I see fit. Just because I choose to contribute doesn't give me any rights to decide what other people should contribute.

we're not talking about individual gift cards for teachers that are signed with your family's name. we're talking about "class gifts" which are gift cards for holiday or end of the year that are given on behalf of "the class". and when some people donate who can well afford to (no one is talking about the people who truly can't afford it), yes that is the definition of free riding.

If you're the one deciding that personal gifts are inadequate and that there must be a class gift, then people who choose to get their own gifts are not free riding. Instead, you're the one trying to boss other people around. There's no need for class gifts. If you decide that you simply must give a class gift, then feel free not to sign my kid's name on it. It's still not my problem that you're deciding how other people must gift the teacher, and they're not conforming to your desires.

Room parents don't unilaterally "decide" that there must be a class gift. It's customary at our Maryland public school to do so, and when you become a room parent, the room parent coordinator will tell you that typically parents use the funds for two teacher gifts and the class parties. All the people who hate group gifts can become room parents and upend this tradition if you hate it so much. (At my school, it's typically two fairly small gift cards from the class since our requested donation is small.)

+1 Every school my kids have been at (from private preschool to public elementary) has had some sort of monetary class group gift for the teacher. This isn't some bizarre invention by rogue room parents. Some parents also contribute in their own name.

This. But those who have never done it or asked about it just assume the room parent is electing to spend money on an unnecessary party or gift. It is not only expected at our school, we get a form email to send out at the beg. of the year that tells parents we are collecting for three gifts and two parties. The Fcps policy allows for two class parties per year. It’s beyond me why so many of you don’t get this. The only thing I can think of is that you’re either new to the elementary school scene or have not involved yourself in how it works at all. This is how it is done at lots of schools, every class, every year.

What you don't understand is that there is no fee, tuition, payment, collection, dues, or whatever you want to call it that is required to attend a public school. You can't require anything.

Of course no fee is required. Tips for restaurants or cabs aren’t required. Do you skip out on those? It’s a generally accepted practice at a restaurant or in a cab and in our school. No one is making you contribute. But when you don’t, then just like failing to tip a waiter who gave okay service, you’re kinda scummy for not chipping in. Don’t like group gifts: email the room parent and say you are getting your own gift. But to give nothing when you financially can just because you don’t want to or have a completely false sense of the system (wrongly believing the room parent is pocketing the money or bribing the teacher or believing you should only contribute if your kid directly gets a benefit - so no teachers gift and no class party and no funds because there was no craft at the oarty) is effed up and selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But the basic issue is that even if you have moral objections to donations that pay for: pizza/treats/class parties/teacher gifts, most of the other parents are donating on your behalf. If you're fine with being free rider, carry on.

I don't know why I keep arguing on this thread, since I am someone who donates for everything. I just find your mentality really weird. I give the teachers gift cards for Xmas and end of year. Some people don't. I don't view my gift card as somehow donating on the behalf of people who don't give one. Likewise, for parties, I always sign up on signup genius to send in something. I'm sure there are parents who don't ever sign up. At my school, some of those parents can't afford it. Some don't speak English and don't even know what is requested. Some are just really busy. I couldn't care less that their kids are eating the grapes or drinking the juice I provided. It's really not a big deal. It's all voluntary, which means that I have the right to contribute or not as I see fit. Just because I choose to contribute doesn't give me any rights to decide what other people should contribute.

we're not talking about individual gift cards for teachers that are signed with your family's name. we're talking about "class gifts" which are gift cards for holiday or end of the year that are given on behalf of "the class". and when some people donate who can well afford to (no one is talking about the people who truly can't afford it), yes that is the definition of free riding.

If you're the one deciding that personal gifts are inadequate and that there must be a class gift, then people who choose to get their own gifts are not free riding. Instead, you're the one trying to boss other people around. There's no need for class gifts. If you decide that you simply must give a class gift, then feel free not to sign my kid's name on it. It's still not my problem that you're deciding how other people must gift the teacher, and they're not conforming to your desires.

Room parents don't unilaterally "decide" that there must be a class gift. It's customary at our Maryland public school to do so, and when you become a room parent, the room parent coordinator will tell you that typically parents use the funds for two teacher gifts and the class parties. All the people who hate group gifts can become room parents and upend this tradition if you hate it so much. (At my school, it's typically two fairly small gift cards from the class since our requested donation is small.)

+1 Every school my kids have been at (from private preschool to public elementary) has had some sort of monetary class group gift for the teacher. This isn't some bizarre invention by rogue room parents. Some parents also contribute in their own name.

This. But those who have never done it or asked about it just assume the room parent is electing to spend money on an unnecessary party or gift. It is not only expected at our school, we get a form email to send out at the beg. of the year that tells parents we are collecting for three gifts and two parties. The Fcps policy allows for two class parties per year. It’s beyond me why so many of you don’t get this. The only thing I can think of is that you’re either new to the elementary school scene or have not involved yourself in how it works at all. This is how it is done at lots of schools, every class, every year.

What you don't understand is that there is no fee, tuition, payment, collection, dues, or whatever you want to call it that is required to attend a public school. You can't require anything.

Of course no fee is required. Tips for restaurants or cabs aren’t required. Do you skip out on those? It’s a generally accepted practice at a restaurant or in a cab and in our school. No one is making you contribute. But when you don’t, then just like failing to tip a waiter who gave okay service, you’re kinda scummy for not chipping in. Don’t like group gifts: email the room parent and say you are getting your own gift. But to give nothing when you financially can just because you don’t want to or have a completely false sense of the system (wrongly believing the room parent is pocketing the money or bribing the teacher or believing you should only contribute if your kid directly gets a benefit - so no teachers gift and no class party and no funds because there was no craft at the oarty) is effed up and selfish.

Unlike waiters, teachers are paid a living wage. Tipping a waiter is his payment. The teacher is paid a salary and does not need a tip.

[Anonymous]

So you don’t tip your waiters?