First date--go or not

[Anonymous]

I'm divorced, 40, with 2 kids. Ex has the kids 1 night a week. I love my quiet evening at home. But I'm trying to date. I met a man online and we agreed to have drinks on my one night alone. His profile is very nice. But he's 20 years older than me. This seems like a big difference now--I'm in the throws of raising my kids; his are done with college. I'll assume retirement is in his near future but it's not in mine. 50 to 70 seems okay but 60-80 seems like another big jump as does 70-90. 70 I still view as vibrant but 90 I view as old. I'm looking for an LTR not a FWB or just casual dating.

Is this worth giving up my night at home? Hot bath, glass of wine, good movie, and the whole bed to myself.

[Anonymous]

If you want to date, you're going to be going on tons of these dates--not just with this one man.

[Anonymous]

I would go, you need to know what your priorities are in someone. Age might not be one of them. Assuming he knows how old you are and how old your kids are he has chosen to go on the date with you.
Even if it doesnt work out it will be good practice.

[Anonymous]

It's the first date, OP. No need to think 30 years ahead LMAO

[Anonymous]

I am the age of your possible date. I am also 10 years older than my SO. However, kids are grown and I am in better health than she is even though hers isn't all that bad. We are aware that statistically I should go first and she will be set quite well financially with no worries there. But, I broached this with her when we first started dating over 15 years ago and she wasn't bothered by it. She still isn't.

But, would that have been different if it was 20 years? I do believe it would have since in our case I wouldn't have been willing to date a 25 year old. lol But using the age you two are at now I can see a great potential that you would be a care giver before you are eligible to draw Social Security.

[Anonymous]

OP, it depends on what you want. Personally, I'm very selective about a number attributes of potential dates, because I've gone out with enough guys that I have a good idea of what will work and not work. For me, for various reasons, that age difference will not work, and I don't respond to emails from men who are not within a reasonable age range. For others, age is not as big of a deal.

[Lonely_Sojourner]

OP: There is no reason why you shouldn't go as you've already agreed to such. At any point during the evening that you aren't enjoying yourself, feel free to politely excuse yourself and head home to the safety of your own abode. Being a relative newbie to the dating scene, nothing worse than canceling at the minute.

L_S

[Anonymous]

For crying out loud, it's just for drinks. Go.

[Anonymous]

Lonely_Sojourner wrote:OP: There is no reason why you shouldn't go as you've already agreed to such. At any point during the evening that you aren't enjoying yourself, feel free to politely excuse yourself and head home to the safety of your own abode. Being a relative newbie to the dating scene, nothing worse than canceling at the minute.

L_S

Seriously? Leaving in the middle of the 'date' is better than canceling? Well, I disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For crying out loud, it's just for drinks. Go.

This. Go have a cocktail. Practice getting out and meeting new people.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go, but I **REALLY** value my alone time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For crying out loud, it's just for drinks. Go.

This. Go have a cocktail. Practice getting out and meeting new people.

Op here--so funny that you say that. I've read other posts on here that complain about women going out on dates just to get someone to buy hem a drink or dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For crying out loud, it's just for drinks. Go.

This. Go have a cocktail. Practice getting out and meeting new people.

Op here--so funny that you say that. I've read other posts on here that complain about women going out on dates just to get someone to buy hem a drink or dinner.

Buy your own drinks and dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm divorced, 40, with 2 kids. Ex has the kids 1 night a week. I love my quiet evening at home. But I'm trying to date. I met a man online and we agreed to have drinks on my one night alone. His profile is very nice. But he's 20 years older than me. This seems like a big difference now--I'm in the throws of raising my kids; his are done with college. I'll assume retirement is in his near future but it's not in mine. 50 to 70 seems okay but 60-80 seems like another big jump as does 70-90. 70 I still view as vibrant but 90 I view as old. I'm looking for an LTR not a FWB or just casual dating.

Is this worth giving up my night at home? Hot bath, glass of wine, good movie, and the whole bed to myself.

NO not with a 60 year old guy!

[Anonymous]

This is me. I just stuck me toe in the Bumble pool and have a dinner date tonight. But now I'm thinking that I'm not ready--after 21 years of marriage to somebody with mental illness, it's so great to have my alone time. I want more alone time to find myself and to spend on books and my hobbies.

But I'll go. I said I would, and it would be rude to stand him up, nobody deserves that. Besides, he seems perfect for me and if nothing else this might be a lesson in how online appearances can be deceiving, which will be useful when I am finally ready to date. Or it could be the start of something great. Either way, I could learn something worth missing one night of quiet, me time for. But the key thing is I don't want to stand him up.